Hi, I'm a 40 something lady who identifies herself as a sexaholic, but most people wouldn't understand as I do not act out in ways most people imagine sexaholics would act. I have a tendency to turn to men under emotional stress, but I have been sober for quite many years except under extreme stress when I had to fight the compulsion to seek one night stands.
I was quite stable at a former work place where most co workers were gentle women. Now that place went bankrupt, I started working at a new place which seems to be filled with older women who can be quite harsh to each other. I learned 4 in 5 new workers leave because of harsh culture (work itself is a simple and most people can perform with practice), but the management leaders are loving people it seems and the pay is quite good. The problem is leaders are all men and I feel uncomfortable receiving their care every time I experience harsh exchanges with women. I developed a crush on one younger leader whom I seemed to have scared by my feelings. I feel very sorry and want to avoid leaders, but it is their job to watch over any potential troubles at a workplace and I seem to attract their attention because of my weak interpersonal skills. I'm basically a depressed quite person with anxiety issues and leaders are gentle with me. I fear potentially relating to leaders inappropriately although I grew older, lost youth, and I'm not fearing committing adultery or anything. The resulting problem will be only making a fool of myself and creating a possible sexual harassment case with my younger leader. Still it's painful and shameful for me and I want to do something about it.
I do seriously consider applying for a different shift hour to avoid him and women workers who make me feel alone and drive me to turn to men.
I gave up going to church, 12 steps meetings (I felt harassed by one member, but a moderator did nothing.) and suffer from depression and anxiety, meaning I have very little energy left to do anything other than work. I see no one outside of work which I believe is contributing to my crush on a leader. So I'm posting at CF again. Should I try a dating service or something though I don't consider myself very marriable.
I was quite stable at a former work place where most co workers were gentle women. Now that place went bankrupt, I started working at a new place which seems to be filled with older women who can be quite harsh to each other. I learned 4 in 5 new workers leave because of harsh culture (work itself is a simple and most people can perform with practice), but the management leaders are loving people it seems and the pay is quite good. The problem is leaders are all men and I feel uncomfortable receiving their care every time I experience harsh exchanges with women. I developed a crush on one younger leader whom I seemed to have scared by my feelings. I feel very sorry and want to avoid leaders, but it is their job to watch over any potential troubles at a workplace and I seem to attract their attention because of my weak interpersonal skills. I'm basically a depressed quite person with anxiety issues and leaders are gentle with me. I fear potentially relating to leaders inappropriately although I grew older, lost youth, and I'm not fearing committing adultery or anything. The resulting problem will be only making a fool of myself and creating a possible sexual harassment case with my younger leader. Still it's painful and shameful for me and I want to do something about it.
I do seriously consider applying for a different shift hour to avoid him and women workers who make me feel alone and drive me to turn to men.
I gave up going to church, 12 steps meetings (I felt harassed by one member, but a moderator did nothing.) and suffer from depression and anxiety, meaning I have very little energy left to do anything other than work. I see no one outside of work which I believe is contributing to my crush on a leader. So I'm posting at CF again. Should I try a dating service or something though I don't consider myself very marriable.
