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In the dark

Justasking123

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.

God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..

Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath, restless...

I wish I could go back and make better choices.
 
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Charlie24

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.

God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..

Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath..

I wish I could go back and make better choices.

We all wish we could go back when we hit the bottom.

You will be one of Gods most faithful servants.

Welcome to the light!
 
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Justasking123

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Make the "better choices" now, today.
I also thought that but it is like no matter what I do I can't make right choices because my heart is numb, I cannot be genuine the results end up being worst because I do things hypocriticaly as I have no Word in me.
 
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Charlie24

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Unfortunalty it would take a miracle as I am in the dark and probably past the point of no return..

I wouldn't say that! You described yourself pretty well!

That's the first step to greatness in the eyes of the Lord.

You're on your way friend!
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.

God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..

Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath..

I wish I could go back and make better choices.
Question: Have you ever been to a fortune teller, used a Ouija board, depended on horoscopes, or anything similar?
 
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Darkhorse

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I also thought that but it is like no matter what I do I can't make right choices because my heart is numb, I cannot be genuine the results end up being worst because I do things hypocriticaly as I have no Word in me.

Start praying, intensively. Keep it up. It will be difficult at first, but it gets easier.

God will lead you out of the dark, re-sensitize your heart, and unify your life.

I speak from experience...
 
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Maria Billingsley

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.

God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..

Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath, restless...

I wish I could go back and make better choices.
Welcome! God loves you and will not abandon anyone who loves Him back. Repent, receive His Holy Spirit and partake in the Kingdom of God. Jesus Christ of Nazareth came for the sinner which both you and I and everyone on the forum are guilty of. Take the step, have faith and above all trust that He has forgiven you and will make you new.
Blessings
 
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Aussie Pete

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.

God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..

Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath, restless...

I wish I could go back and make better choices.
You were born a sinner? That makes you the same as everyone else. The good news is that God saves sinners. You qualify. If everyone realised that they were sinners by nature, it would be much easier for people to get saved. Your accuser is Satan, not God.

You can make the right choice right now. This link will help:
Are you absolutely sure you are born again? - Christian Life Frankston
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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It is very interesting that Derek Prince said that in his experience almost every person who was going through spiritual depression, conflict, and felt right away from God, that He did not love them, had been involved in some type of occult involvement, such as visiting a fortune teller, at some time during their life.

Also, receiving a personal prophecy from a false prophet can open one up to a spirit of divination that can blight their spiritual life and cause great spiritual, and even physical pain in different parts of the body.

I would go as far as to say that being involved in a Charismatic service where there are kundalini manifestations such as jerking, shaking, uncontrollable trembling and laughing, falling over and rolling around the floor, or being involved in the positive thinking/confession doctrine (Hindu mind-control), can open the person up to wrong spirits that can play havoc in their spiritual life and relationship with God.

Traumatic events in one's life, especially in childhood can open a person up to spirits of fear, panic, doom, etc.

Neil Anderson's book "The Bondage Breaker" is a good resource for getting with God and going through the list of possible events and involvments with the occult, unforgiveness, etc., to bring them before God, renounce any effects of traumatic events, occult involvement, and unforgiveness of any kind; with the effect that the person will be totally set free from the conflict that they are having.
 
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SkyWriting

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I loved sin since I was born my conscience was not important as long as people liked me, I would only want to appear clean and fill my desires.God wanted to give me His hand and guide me to life but I ignored it, I didn't realise the treasure it was..Now I do but am too far gone: numb, godless, hypocrite, in the dark, not able to repent, lawless, depressed, black, fearing the worst possible torments, seeing the world go under, despair, heartless, unfaithful, vessel of wrath, restless...I wish I could go back and make better choices.


Ummm....for the next 2 minutes?

Good enough for me.

If it works out for 2 minutes....try it again.
 
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Anthony2019

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Where do you think you can go where the Lord cannot reach you?
If you ascend to the highest heavens, He will be there.
If you make your bed in the depths, He will find you.
If you rise on the wings of the dawn or settle on the far side of the sea
His right hand will guide you.
He is our almighty, all-knowing God, who perceives all your thoughts and is familiar with all your ways.
You may think that by ignoring Him there is no way back. But God, who made you, knows everything about you: every single detail. He understands all your hesitations and fears and His message to you is still the same. You are loved with an everlasting love. Not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are: a precious person made in His image.
Throughout the world, each and very day, the Lord is forgiving and saving people in their thousands who have committed the most heinous of sins. Prior to his conversion, the apostle Paul persecuted the people of God and considered himself the worst of sinners. Yet look how mightily his life was transformed and used by God for His glory.
It's not to late for you to turn back to the Lord. The same Jesus who transformed the lives of the apostles, and who over the course of history changed literally millions of lives, is still calling you to follow Him, so you may have life and have it abundantly.
 
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Jeshu

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One thing you need to understand that you see your sins and misery, that is step number one for all Christians. We need to know that we need to be saved. The only thing left to do is call out to Jesus and ask Him to become Lord of your heart and teach you to leave sin behind and follow Him.

At the moment the devil has you in his grips and will grill you with your sins and shortcomings, yet with Jesus you will find grace and love and acceptance. It is about love. Jesus wants you to learn to love Him for grace, not just fear Him because of His wrath. The Word teaches that anyone who calls upon His name will be saved so be of good courage.

Understand that faith in God needs to grow. So first you have faith for mere seconds but if you exercise your faith in those two seconds you will be ready to do 10 seconds next time until you walk with Him all day long.

i have grown from rock bottom suicidally depressed to walking daily with Him and i love Him more than my own life. i left the liar, hypocrite, and uncaring sinner behind and have found peace and rest instead of my inner turmoil. i wish that to anybody, you too. Jesus is a great saviour. Who loves to help you out of the rut you got yourself into.

If you find you have no faith ask God for some. He gifts it to all those who ask.

Step by step brother, step by step. Faith in His love brings hope follow that route.

Peace.
 
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Justasking123

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Start praying, intensively. Keep it up. It will be difficult at first, but it gets easier.

God will lead you out of the dark, re-sensitize your heart, and unify your life.

I speak from experience...

It is like I cannot pray anymore, I mean of course I can physically but not sincerely, it's really bad. You know what I mean?
 
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Justasking123

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Welcome! God loves you and will not abandon anyone who loves Him back. Repent, receive His Holy Spirit and partake in the Kingdom of God. Jesus Christ of Nazareth came for the sinner which both you and I and everyone on the forum are guilty of. Take the step, have faith and above all trust that He has forgiven you and will make you new.
Blessings

How can I repent being numb? It is like a vicious circle, because I have to be broken to repent and want to come to God from my whole heart but I can't as I have separated from God because of sin.
 
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Justasking123

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That makes you the same as everyone else.
What I did really bad is that I willfully rejected the Gospel even after knowing the truth, now it is like I want to belong to God just to be saved, so my motives are very far from the love we are supposed to have.
 
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