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Do looks matter to you?

Do looks matter to you?

  • Yes, they do.

    Votes: 27 49.1%
  • No, they don’t.

    Votes: 7 12.7%
  • It’s a balance.

    Votes: 23 41.8%
  • I have no idea.

    Votes: 2 3.6%

  • Total voters
    55

MehGuy

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Yeah, my folks look pretty different too.. My father has more sharp Germanic features.. and my mother more roundish southern European ones.. lol. Been together over 30 years. Of course statically that scientist might still be correct.. never really thought about it before..

I'd think men having more masculine sharp features, and women more roundish feminine features would make for a better match.. or maybe that's just for the short term?
 
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bèlla

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They don't understand the psychological desires men have in wanting age gaps.

You might enjoy Survival of the Prettiest by Nancy Etcoff. She explores the topic from an evolutionary perspective.

I recall a photo project a couple years ago that captured the ideal face. Most agreed it was an oval shape with large eyes and a full mouth. The features are more yin (fleshier) than yang (sharp) and usually maintain some measure of suppleness which minimizes gauntness from aging.

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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You might enjoy Survival of the Prettiest by Nancy Etcoff. She explores the topic from an evolutionary perspective.

I recall a photo project a couple years ago that captured the ideal face. Most agreed it was an oval shape with large eyes and a full mouth. The features are more yin (fleshier) than yang (sharp) and usually maintain some measure of suppleness which minimizes gauntness from aging.

~Bella

I'll have to look into it. I know large eyes are important, because they are a powerful sign of a neotenous looking face.

Bette Davis is probably the prettiest woman I've seen mainly because of her large eyes. Although I've heard she might have suffered some kind of disease because of it, but whatever her eyes looked perfect regardless. They were not buggy or strange looking.
 
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bèlla

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I'll have to look into it. I know large eyes are important, because they are a powerful sign of a neotenous looking face.

They improve symmetry and provide a focal point. Size and shape are equally important and a strong brow emphasizes their beauty.

Bette Davis is probably the prettiest woman I've seen mainly because of her large eyes. Although I've heard she might have suffered some kind of disease because of it, but whatever her eyes looked perfect regardless. They were not buggy or strange looking.

Audrey Hepburn is the classic example of the features mentioned and their benefit as aging ensues.

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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They improve symmetry and provide a focal point. Size and shape are equally important and a strong brow emphasizes their beauty.

Large eyes also give more of a sympathetic response.



Audrey Hepburn is the classic example of the features mentioned and their benefit as aging ensues.

~Bella

Hmm.. never understood the appeal of her.. I think Bette Davis aged well.. it's not like large eyes become smaller the older one gets, lol.
 
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bèlla

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Large eyes also illicit more of a sympathetic response.

Interesting. I never considered that. But I’ve seen it echoed in novels. Perhaps that’s why.

Hmm.. never understood the appeal of her.. I think Bette Davis aged well.. it's not like large eyes become smaller the older one gets, lol.

I think it’s a combination of beauty, elegance, and off-screen behavior that made her an icon. She was a humanitarian and known for her gracefulness. Her character and concern for others enhanced her loveliness. That’s why many admired her. She was more than a pretty face.

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Interesting. I never considered that. But I’ve seen it echoed in novels. Perhaps that’s why.

It's evolution.. female beauty is largely based on neoteny.. traits that are evolutionarily advantageous because women are the ones burdened with pregnancy's, and the more protection and care they can receive the better their chances of spreading on their genes.

I think it’s a combination of beauty, elegance, and off-screen behavior that made her an icon. She was a humanitarian and known for her gracefulness. Her character and concern for others enhanced her loveliness. That’s why many admired her. She was more than a pretty face.

~Bella

She's not ugly or anything… lol.. maybe she reminds me too much of women in my family.. plus I never really liked whatever the makeup hairstyles clothing of the 1950s and 1960s very much.

Can't say I've ever seen a movie with her in it. Maybe I have.. I like to watch some classic films.. but can't think of anything at the moment.
 
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bèlla

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It's evolution.. female beauty is largely based on neoteny.. traits that are evolutionarily advantageous because women are the ones burdened with pregnancy's, and the more protection and care they can receive the better their chances of spreading on their genes.

Do you think that still holds true today? Especially in western countries?

She's not ugly or anything… lol.. maybe she reminds me too much of women in my family.

That isn’t unusual. Familiarity can foster similarities or a desire for difference.

plus I never really liked whatever the makeup hairstyles clothing of the 1950s and 1960s very much.

Do you favor a specific era?

Can't say I've ever seen a movie with her in it. Maybe I have.. I like to watch some classic films.. but can't think of anything at the moment.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is popular. I enjoyed Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. What’s your favorite by her?

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Do you think that still holds true today? Especially in western countries?

I think it holds true for humanity in general.. hard to reverse thousands of years of hardwiring.



That isn’t unusual. Familiarity can foster similarities or a desire for difference.

Yeah. Nothing bad, just a little weird when people remind you of family members.. lol.


Do you favor a specific era?

I like the 30s and 40s.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is popular. I enjoyed Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. What’s your favorite by her?

~Bella

Yeah, I should watch it sometime.. heard there is a funny racist character on it too.. lol. :p

As for Bette Davis.. probably of Human bondage. She's so cute and funny in it.
 
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bèlla

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Yeah. Nothing bad, just a little weird when people remind you of family members.. lol.

Yes, I can understand the awkwardness. I’ve been equally influenced by my family’s appearance. Especially the women.

As for Bette Davis.. probably of Human bondage. She's so cute and funny in it.

I haven’t seen that one. I’ll have to check it out. She’s a hoot. :)

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Yes, I can understand the awkwardness. I’ve been equally influenced by my family’s appearance. Especially the women.



I haven’t seen that one. I’ll have to check it out. She’s a hoot. :)

~Bella

Yeah, one of her earlier films.. kind of a sad one too. It's not really about what some people might think.. sorta.. lol.
 
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HisGraceAbounds

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Yes, they matter. All the winning personality in the world won't make an unattractive person somehow magically become attractive to me.

However, I am ugly as a mud fence, so having a preference for good looking women is ridiculous. I'm definitely too ugly for them.
 
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bèlla

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Yeah, one of her earlier films.. kind of a sad one too. It's not really about what some people might think.. sorta.. lol.

Classic films are really neat. Do you have other favorites?

~Bella
 
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ThisIsMe123

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I said in my original post, that looks often have a strong psychological underpinning to them. I've seen women older than me look younger than me, it's still a turn off when I hear about their real age.

That's strange, that's a total turn on for me. It's actually a BONUS if an older woman LOOKS young. This is usually due to genetics or sometimes their nationality.

IE - Asian women tend to look at least a decade younger than their real age. I once dated a 40 year old that does a lot of clean eating. Very GREEN girl. Kept herself healthy. When I was dating her, someone told me that she looked 25. lol. So I was rather proud of that. It's like robbing the cradle, when you're not. :)

Dunno, dude, the 22= prime, and this. This is the first I'm hearing someone having this belief. Can't really buy into it.

The height thing, yeah, I hear how women want to "feel protected", even though a shorter guy could just as well protect a woman as a taller guy. But...what are we protecting them from? I think they are talking more of a primal situatoin.

Believe it or not, I've even been turned down by thicker women. They don't want to appear bigger than their boyfriends. Not all of them do this, but I've been rejected by women with bigger waistlines than mine. I found it odd, considering I figured some bigger women weren't much for attracting men.

But it's a 2nd element. Overall, they don't want to appear "bigger" than their sig. others both horizontally AND vertically. The latter was quite strange.


For men wanting younger women is much more than just "looks". I've heard women try to contemplate why men are so crazy about younger women "they're like.. younger people look better.. but still". They don't understand the psychological desires men have in wanting age gaps. They're looking at things through feminine eyes, and sadly in this culture the feminine viewpoint is one that average person can really grasp.

As far as "wearing out", rougher skin is not going to look as bad on a man as it does on a woman. Not to forget to mention men have thicker skin than women and it takes longer for it to wrinkle up.

Well, some men like younger women because their ability to still give birth to children.



I believe the world record for a woman to have childbirth without much medical intervention was in her early sixties.

Not to mention men don't want women who are in their last leg to have children. They want a young fertile women with years ahead of her.

Speaking of which, although I much prefer to date a child-free woman...as I am also child-free...I find that even 40+ women...who never had children are still getting the baby cravings. I had to end a dating situation with a 40 year old woman because she wanted children and I did not. She was moreso wanting to foster, but still....don't want a kid in my life at my age (mid-40s)

She actually said that was the reason she broke up with her last boyfriend and moved down here with her parents. At the time she was in her 30s, and he was my age, but dunno if he changed his mind laterr on her.

Not to mention men don't want women who are in their last leg to have children. They want a young fertile women with years ahead of her.

But yeah....I find it odd that women over 40 still want kids. And those that do have children, I prefer them to be at least high school-aged. Even better out of the house. I mean, what's the desire to be in your AARP card carrying age in your mid-50s when you're only 55 year old taking your 10 year old to school with the other 20 and 30 something parents?



I had one single mother actually tell me I may be better off dating much younger women, as they are less likely to have kids than women my age. So in a sense, younger women would be kind of the same life stage as me.

1. Never married
2. No kids.

3. Just 20 year age difference. lol
 
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ThisIsMe123

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....I ALSO wanted to note....

I had a male friend that had a girlfriend about 20 to 25 years younger than him. He in his 40s, her in her late 20s.

What happened was this...

Every time he'd advise her NOT to do something...but she did it anyway....and...she would get burned...this would irritate her that he was always right.

BUT...he never rubbed it in or said "I told you so". He just wound up being right.

After so many times of her being wrong with her poor life choices....she broke up with him....because he was starting to sound like her father. LOL She was starting to see him as more of an annoying, lecturing, father figure than a boyfriend.

So be mindful of that.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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There is always another side to something. That natural urge for women to feel protective and seek out tall men is going to have another side where men seek out women they feel have a vibe to be protected.

THis doesn't work with self-sustaining, and the typical "independent woman". I have a female friend that's doing well for herself. Makes good money etc.

She told me a lot of men were turned off by the fact that she did NOT need protecting. She tends to come across men that are looking for a helpless woman. That way, they can get a feeling of dominance and control...and if a man finds a perfectly financially fit, confidant woman. It's a turn off.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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In the dating niche scene I am in, that age gap is not uncommon. I still think you're looking at attraction through men's eyes. Women like dominate/protective men. Right or wrong, large age gaps can give that psychological appearance. Women don't just get to whine that they need a man to be taller than them, and expect things like youthfulness to be the same for men as it is for women.

As far as the vanilla world is concerned, I think for decades feminists have been going after the biggest flaw women have and that being youthfulness. They've been spreading messages that men are somehow psychologically damaged if they like younger women. It's just ridiculous.

There is always another side to something. That natural urge for women to feel protective and seek out tall men is going to have another side where men seek out women they feel have a vibe to be protected.

I did want to ask you though...considering that some older women are hitting the gym, watching what they eat, etc. I have seen some head turning 40-somethings. Sometimes even 50 somethings. Basically, older women that have kept their figures looking young. Would you make an exception then? I know I sure would. :)
 
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MehGuy

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Classic films are really neat. Do you have other favorites?

~Bella

My Man Godfrey, The Gold Diggers of 1933, Rope, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, It Happened One night, To The Ends Of The Earth.
 
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blackribbon

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Yeah, but ,they'll tell you , "I know what I want, and won't settle" and of course, "Better to be single than unhappy" cliche's.

Yep, and just imagine a woman that's 6 feet tall. I have noticed however though, if a woman is unusually tall. IE 6 feet, they may actually have to be flexible in their ht. requirement because they KNOW they'll be alone forever if they don't.

Why will tall women be alone if they don't date shorter men? All the tall women in my family married taller men. My roommate in college was 6ft and her husband i something like 6ft 4in if I remember correctly. He was tickled to find a girl he could actually look in the eye.

My brother who is 6ft 4in has never dated any women (he is 50). He isn't bad looking but he has an odder personality and lacks a lot of common sense...and that is why he hasn't found a woman. He is a very kind and thoughtful Christian man though...but he can barely take care of himself.

Sometimes looks, age, and height have nothing to do with why a person doesn't find that special someone. Sometimes "being a nice guy" or even a Christian doesn't make a person good spouse material.
 
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blackribbon

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I'll have to look into it. I know large eyes are important, because they are a powerful sign of a neotenous looking face.

Bette Davis is probably the prettiest woman I've seen mainly because of her large eyes. Although I've heard she might have suffered some kind of disease because of it, but whatever her eyes looked perfect regardless. They were not buggy or strange looking.

I have "Bette Davis eyes" and grew up being called "bug eyes". Even my gynecologist looked at me and said she was going to run a thyroid test because of my "bug eyed" look. (Fired her pretty quick because of her lack of tact...and my thyroid is just fine). I never had any problems getting a date ... (well, until I got old and tired) in spite of those "bug eyes" which enough guys, including my husband, actually found attractive. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Who is "attractive" is also unique and individual.
 
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