Definitely an emotional vampire. I had an old friend like this whom I had to politely distance myself from. Her whining, complaining and CONSTANT phone calls got so annoying that I had to finally tell her, hey...this has to stop.
Same here. I met someone years ago. She’s nice and loving. But she smothered me with daily calls recounting complaints and woes about her husband. This usually happened after praying. My mood shifted every time. She admitted the Holy Spirit told her to give me space and not to talk about herself so often. Most of the discussions revolved around her.
After a while I started asking questions. Things didn’t add up. The affair she spoke of constantly happened ten years prior. I assumed it was recent given her conversation.
His alcoholism was a problem. But something told me to ask how long they were acquainted prior to marriage. When she said 30 days I was flabbergasted. She was 32 when they married. If you pledge yourself to a stranger you’re going to have surprises!
She was very needy and wanted a lot time and attention. Frequent calls were accompanied by a desire to go out each day. She wanted to escape the house but I enjoyed mine and stayed home. By filling a void with others she denied herself the peace and healing the Lord provides. Bitterness had taken root and it eventually came out.
I reached a point when I felt overcome and heavy laden. I didn’t believe I was the appropriate confidante. I’m single and have never married. She had married friends. I didn’t agree with how she undressed him to others. He could never show his face. Everyone knew his business.
But a lot of the ministry work she did he funded. All the lunch dates and giving to the needy came from his wages. He wasn’t perfect. But her disability inspired pity and no one corrected her.
I was laboring for someone in prayer at the time. Someone who wronged me. But my greatest concern was his soul. I’d done so for several years. The differences between the two taught me a lesson. I understood the power of love covering sin when we let it.
I stepped away and made a commitment to be mindful of my mental and emotional health. When your disposition is loving and kind, you’ll attract people hungry for the same. Both good and bad.
I’m happier now. I feel lighter and joy is a constant. I value my peace and the constancy of happiness I experience. I have a great life. I spend my day giving thanks and marveling at all He’s done and the numerous opportunities I’ve been given.
I don’t allow myself to be drawn into relationships like that anymore. I’m intentional and prayerful about all connections now. And they’re better as a result.
Many Christians are burdening one another with troubles that require professional counseling or therapy. I am neither, nor has the Lord called me to that role. I stick with my mission.