- Aug 6, 2018
- 16
- 30
- 57
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- United Ch. of Christ
- Marital Status
- Divorced
First I want to say thank you to the many, many, many responses I received. All from folks trying to help me in some way. From my deepest heart thank you, thank you.
It has raised many questions for me. From the responses I received, my biggest takeaway is
"It doesn't seem like I have been doing Christian correctly". If that makes any sense. I have never heard from God, nor have I ever felt a push, or a pull from Him. Do I study the Bible or just read it? If I just read it, how do I study it? How should I pray? I desperately want to be filled, and walk in the Spirit. How do I accomplish these? Maybe I have been so low for so long is because I haven't been doing "Christian" correctly. I thought I was. I go, and server at church. I read my bible everyday. I pray multiple times a day. I comb the internet for help, its how I found this forum. Yet after years of doing all these things, I feel no closer to God, than the first day I asked him into my heart. I have been Baptized. At an age where I knew, and understood the reasoning. I am so thirsty and hungry for God. I have been to retreats. I get goosebumps at church sometimes when we sing. Sometimes I feel like I am going to cry. That is the most I have ever felt. To be honest I have gotten goosebumps listening to good jazz music. Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I confess my sins everyday (the ones I remember). If I curse, or yell at a driver. I ask for forgiveness. I pray and ask for help in all things, patience, wisdom, strength, FAITH, prayer. Seems like I am just spinning my wheels. I can rattle off verses. I know many stories of the bible. I know the names. I was always taught that the bible is where we should go to first, in order to learn. I have. For years. All this came about from reading all the replies I received from everyone. Everyone was very very nice. I do not mind constructive criticism. I actually asked for it. Please tell me. I have asked God 1000 times to help me and my faith. To please teach me to pray. To talk to me, nudge me. Help me in my walk. It goes back to my original subject line. I just can't do it any longer. I know God doesn't promise all prayers will be answered, and I am OK with that. I do need it right now. I have always been very thankful to God. For health, food. I never try to take anything for granted. A lot of "I's" here. But I am very thankful, and tell God the same. I am sorry God, but I do. I am in a very desperate time of my life, and I need you so very much Right now. I do not, nor have I ever demanded anything from God. I need something. A word, a feeling, a nudge. Please God let me know you are here. That I matter. That I am not alone. I am so, so alone God. I never have anyone to talk to. Please talk to me. Let me know you are here, please.
It has raised many questions for me. From the responses I received, my biggest takeaway is
"It doesn't seem like I have been doing Christian correctly". If that makes any sense. I have never heard from God, nor have I ever felt a push, or a pull from Him. Do I study the Bible or just read it? If I just read it, how do I study it? How should I pray? I desperately want to be filled, and walk in the Spirit. How do I accomplish these? Maybe I have been so low for so long is because I haven't been doing "Christian" correctly. I thought I was. I go, and server at church. I read my bible everyday. I pray multiple times a day. I comb the internet for help, its how I found this forum. Yet after years of doing all these things, I feel no closer to God, than the first day I asked him into my heart. I have been Baptized. At an age where I knew, and understood the reasoning. I am so thirsty and hungry for God. I have been to retreats. I get goosebumps at church sometimes when we sing. Sometimes I feel like I am going to cry. That is the most I have ever felt. To be honest I have gotten goosebumps listening to good jazz music. Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I confess my sins everyday (the ones I remember). If I curse, or yell at a driver. I ask for forgiveness. I pray and ask for help in all things, patience, wisdom, strength, FAITH, prayer. Seems like I am just spinning my wheels. I can rattle off verses. I know many stories of the bible. I know the names. I was always taught that the bible is where we should go to first, in order to learn. I have. For years. All this came about from reading all the replies I received from everyone. Everyone was very very nice. I do not mind constructive criticism. I actually asked for it. Please tell me. I have asked God 1000 times to help me and my faith. To please teach me to pray. To talk to me, nudge me. Help me in my walk. It goes back to my original subject line. I just can't do it any longer. I know God doesn't promise all prayers will be answered, and I am OK with that. I do need it right now. I have always been very thankful to God. For health, food. I never try to take anything for granted. A lot of "I's" here. But I am very thankful, and tell God the same. I am sorry God, but I do. I am in a very desperate time of my life, and I need you so very much Right now. I do not, nor have I ever demanded anything from God. I need something. A word, a feeling, a nudge. Please God let me know you are here. That I matter. That I am not alone. I am so, so alone God. I never have anyone to talk to. Please talk to me. Let me know you are here, please.