are there not many parents on CF?

[mama2one]

as it seems the family/parenting section is not very active

at one time I was part of an active forum that was mostly moms but it was shut down suddenly with no warning from the owner

really misses it as any time of day, one could post for parenting advice and you'd get multiple answers fairly quickly and of course, as moms we'd share cute or funny things

(guess that's what FB is for but am not on FB and don't care to join it)

 

[Paidiske]

There are a lot of parents, so I don't know why this forum is so quiet.

I'm on another parenting forum for that stuff, but I was on there long before I knew about CF.

But we can chat, christine, and maybe others will join us? How many children do you have?

 

[Neogaia777]

as it seems the family/parenting section is not very active

at one time I was part of an active forum that was mostly moms but it was shut down suddenly with no warning from the owner

really misses it as any time of day, one could post for parenting advice and you'd get multiple answers fairly quickly and of course, as moms we'd share cute or funny things

(guess that's what FB is for but am not on FB and don't care to join it)

Maybe they're too busy...?

I am or used to be a parent, but my one and only child is grown now, and I'm divorced and live alone now...

God Bless!

 

[mama2one]

Maybe they're too busy...?
!

yes, that is it as my sister and neighbors all have 3 or more so everyone is always so busy
whereas husband and I only have one child

 

[“Paisios”]

as it seems the family/parenting section is not very active

at one time I was part of an active forum that was mostly moms but it was shut down suddenly with no warning from the owner

really misses it as any time of day, one could post for parenting advice and you'd get multiple answers fairly quickly and of course, as moms we'd share cute or funny things

(guess that's what FB is for but am not on FB and don't care to join it)

There are a lot of parents, so I don't know why this forum is so quiet.

I'm on another parenting forum for that stuff, but I was on there long before I knew about CF.

But we can chat, christine, and maybe others will join us? How many children do you have?

I am the father of a son and daughter, but they have now grown up and gone off to college, and though I am still a parent, the types of issues are very different than when the kids were younger and living at home.

I would respond to threads in which I thought I had any advice here if I see them in the “New Threads” list, but with the days of daily parenting struggles and decisions behind me, I don’t tend to visit this area very often.

 

[mama2one]

But we can chat, christine, and maybe others will join us? How many children do you have?

you're very kind; just one child

 

[“Paisios”]

guess I had withdrawal when the forum shut down as it focused on adoption and our child is adopted and often only adoptive parents seem to relate/understand/ help with stuff

I am surprised at how many of the kids in my youth group are adopted, and it was quite saddening to see the burden most of them carry, even with a loving adoptive family.

How old is your child?

 

[mama2one]

I am surprised at how many of the kids in my youth group are adopted, and it was quite saddening to see the burden most of them carry, even with a loving adoptive family.

yes
there is an extra layer of parenting needed and I am always signing up for online workshops/adoption related seminars as I feel need to stay ahead as some adoption experts
say love is not enough in other words one can't expect to adopt and just love and think that is enough for your child....as it often is not

our child is 10 (preteen)

 

[Dave-W]

I am surprised at how many of the kids in my youth group are adopted, and it was quite saddening to see the burden most of them carry, even with a loving adoptive family.

How old is your child?

Very true. Our youngest daughter and her husband adopted a boy/girl pair of twins last summer; she also being a twin and her husband adopted.

They adopted from foster care, and the needs of those precious children are indeed unique.

They drove in from NM to be here at the funeral, so I have had some unexpected grandpa time with them. It has been great.




.

 

[Dave-W]

there is an extra layer of parenting needed and I am always signing up for online workshops/adoption related seminars as I feel need to stay ahead as some adoption experts say love is not enough. )

Indeed. In all cases there will be insecurity issues due to abandonment. Even if adopted at birth, he/she knows this is not the same mama.

If the adopted child comes from the foster care system, there is a whole other layer of abuse issues. Many foster parents are inattentive or downright cruel, and the reasons the children were removed from their birth parents can be devastating. Drugs, alcohol, physical and sexual abuse top the list. These are the issues the adoptive parents have to counter to restore those precious children to emotional and physical health.

 

[Hammster]

yes
there is an extra layer of parenting needed and I am always signing up for online workshops/adoption related seminars as I feel need to stay ahead as some adoption experts
say love is not enough in other words one can't expect to adopt and just love and think that is enough for your child....as it often is not

our child is 10 (preteen)

How old was your child when they first came to you? I have three biological and two adoptive. One was 14 months old (now 6 yo) and the other was three days (now 5 yo).

 

[Roseonathorn]

Indeed. In all cases there will be insecurity issues due to abandonment. Even if adopted at birth, he/she knows this is not the same mama.

If the adopted child comes from the foster care system, there is a whole other layer of abuse issues. Many foster parents are inattentive or downright cruel, and the reasons the children were removed from their birth parents can be devastating. Drugs, alcohol, physical and sexual abuse top the list. These are the issues the adoptive parents have to counter to restore those precious children to emotional and physical health.

To my knowledge "the system that You call it" those that I would call the heads of social services are human too and in some places around the world they continously tell direct grave lies and false accusations about parents and then suspect them of those things You claim. Why, because the parents are righteus and christian enough not to lie with or conspiracy with them. So they can actually loose their kids, freedom and lives. And this is no bs. This is the full truth so help me God. Fortunatedly sometimes the police does not buy all that the social service claims but often they do. Even if the police tells the social service to bring home the kids and find no faults like those You mention in the parents the social service still will not do that, instead they make up another lie. How would You feel if social services took Your kids from daycare one day and the only explanation You got was they seemed worried. Two weeks later You get to see them, for an hour, supervised and they wanted home to You. Finally after 5 years of battle You hear they suspect sexual abuse but the police said all is normal and so said leg. Psychologist that were not hired to say otherwise. Because authoritypeople are human they can make mistakes too, and if a psychopath comes up in that seat of who is head of social service then the empathic biological parents should beware. Psychopaths threat and tempt their hired ones and those they work with to do wrong things to other people ( victims) so they end up the way the psychopath want to. If victims try to fight back they usually get it ten times worse, because the psychopath in authority is having power over thousands of people. It needs to be another authority to fight the fight. I think mainly that is one factor in why legally abducted kids become fosterkids. It is actully inhumane when the parents is not insane, not on drugs, alcohol etc, not sick to the point that they can not care for their kids, at least one has fulltimejob and the other studies, looking for job, etc, no sexual abuse, no physical. The only trouble is the psychological abuse that the social service has terrorised the family/ families especially the kids with for more than the greatest part of their life. It helps no one except the savings account of the foster family and the ego of the social services. If social services treated dogs the way they treat kids it would be called animalabuse. Not saying the social service stinks everywhere but I have seen enough of it.

 

[“Paisios”]

yes
there is an extra layer of parenting needed and I am always signing up for online workshops/adoption related seminars as I feel need to stay ahead as some adoption experts
say love is not enough in other words one can't expect to adopt and just love and think that is enough for your child....as it often is not

our child is 10 (preteen)

My adult children are 19 and 21, and away from home. I’ve got 8-10 youth group kids who come regularly, ranging from 13-21 years old, and 2 godchildren (ages 1 and 2) whose mother was one of my youth group kids (but has grown up and moved on).

No, love is not sufficient, but it is necessary - it’s what can build the foundation on which to build a whole relationship, once it has broken down the walls built up for protection from the past...not an easy job.

 

[Dave-W]

To my knowledge "the system that You call it" those that I would call the heads of social services are human too and in some places around the world they continously tell direct grave lies and false accusations about parents and then suspect them of those things You claim. Why, because the parents are righteus and christian enough not to lie with or conspiracy with them. So they can actually loose their kids, freedom and lives. And this is no bs. This is the full truth so help me God. Fortunatedly sometimes the police does not buy all that the social service claims but often they do. Because authoritypeople are human they can make mistakes too, and if a psychopath comes up in that seat of who is head of social service then the empathic biological parents should beware.

Indeed that does happen as well. Every state is different and New Mexico seems to be one of the better ones. They try really hard to restore children to their parents, some times too early, IMO.



.

 

[Hammster]

Indeed that does happen as well. Every state is different and New Mexico seems to be one of the better ones. They try really hard to restore children to their parents, some times too early, IMO.

Missouri is pretty good about trying. Sometimes too hard. For small children, there’s supposed to be a 15 month window. If the parents can’t get it together, then parental rights are terminated.

In our case, we had our daughter three years, and our son for two and a half, and both after the judge gave parents one more chance on multiple occasions. Very frustrating.

 

[JAM2b]

as it seems the family/parenting section is not very active

at one time I was part of an active forum that was mostly moms but it was shut down suddenly with no warning from the owner

I think Christian Forums is so huge that the members spread themselves thin over various sections or stick to a few they have a lot of interests in or questions for. The regulars in Parenting and Families have pretty much seen and participated in all the reoccurring topics that come up here many times.

I used to be on a Christian message board that had a very active parenting section with multiple topic sections within that. I became very close to several of the parents, especially other mothers with kids the ages of mine. I was kicked off of that message board because my marriage failed and we divorced. I became viewed as "toxic" and "not a good fit" and was told that I needed to "move on and find friends who are a better fit."

It was very hard to loose that network of friends, most of whom did not agree with the board admin decision.

 

[Paidiske]

I'm sorry, JAM2B, that's not fair at all.

 

[mama2one]

I became very close to several of the parents, especially other mothers with kids the ages of mine. I was kicked off
It was very hard to loose that network of friends.

sorry that happened to you!

understand how you felt as I was a member of a forum for at least 5 yrs
then the forum closed suddenly with no warning

 

[JAM2b]

I'm sorry that happened to you, too. It's so sad. It is a real loss.

 

[*LILAC]

I'm a mom, too but my kids are older already! I feel old reading everyone's young children stories!