Hello CF. I have been struggling in the past year with debilitating anxiety and self-esteem issues partly due to the feeling that I have no one to be open or vulnerable with. Throughout the years people have praised me for my gifts of my positive outlook on life, good communication skills and my ability to be open and honest with others, as I have seen in a few posts opening similar forums on social media and here on CF. Most of the time though, it appears that honesty and my desire to open up about my spiritual and anxiety struggles with others is somewhat of a trait that should be stamped out. For instance, at my previous church I was criticized for sharing too much detail in my testimony for how I met Jesus for mission trip prep, and then I eventually left this church because of this episode and losing several other friends who in a similar fashion appeared to be offended my openness with my struggles and history of self esteem issues. People in this community said they would be there for each other, and that particular church was a ground for openness and vulnerability, but this was not what I was seeing. All I saw was people getting offended and interpersonal walls set up so no one could get in. No doubt that I have family members who are solid listeners and accept me, but in more recent times I have been picked on me for being too “offensive” or “dramatic”, and then when I fail to get the help I’m looking for from my parents, I turn to friends for understanding, but there have been various instances when I found out these people end up sharing my secrets that I entrust these friends with. Yes I know that there are those who don’t care about what is happening in my life so I don’t share as much detail as I would with closer friends or family. Yes I am in desperate need of Jesus and a community that demonstrates His character. That’s why I found a safe haven in Christian counseling and increased spending time with a couple of my closest friends, which has partially helped me overcome my anxiety. However, at times it seems as if the world as turn around and left me, and that people have taught me to invalidate my feelings. I have become quiet and introverted, thinking that every time I open my mouth, I will offend someone. I am also terrified of returning to church out of the belief that it is pointless to have a large group of people to confide in if I can’t be open with them or share my hobbies, interests, and gifts with them (I love people, God, the great outdoors, and making people feel very loved), which I did not find at my previous church. No one seems to care about me or try to seek out time with me anymore, so recently I have questioned my value in life. Is it true that authenticity is a worthless trait in relationships/community? How can I overcome these fears of offending someone? Am I really an unlovable nerd? God bless you.