What does the Bible say about self hatred?i i

[Loser82070]

Hi. My name is Jay Chapman. I'm a 47 year old worthless nothing from Oklahoma City. I hate myself more than I can express. I have no talents, no ability to be good at anything, and I'm a total moron. The Bible says every life has a purpose, but I don't buy that anymore. The only purpose I seem to have is to show everyone else what failure looks like. I flunked out of school. I make minimum wage doing delivery driving for a copier company. My children don't live with me. They like me, but I think it's just a "I'm supposed too" sort of thing. I don't feel God's love anymore. The only thing I will ever do right is die. I don't understand why I even exist. I feel like God enjoys watching me suffer. I won't kill myself because I know I'm going to hell when I die and I'm not in any hurry to get there. Yes, that's my final stop no matter how many times I recite the sinners prayer and accept Jesus. He died for a whole world of people... I'm just not one of them. I look forward to dying in the sense that I won't hurt and disappoint my loved ones anymore. Besides, dying is all I have left to live for. Almost 50 years with nothing but a wake of destruction to show where I've been. I don't know what to do or how to live. I've reached the point that everytime someone wants to friend me on Facebook or Play Station Network, I ask them why they want to friend worthless idiot like me. I don't see the point in friends or family anymore, I'm no good to anyone. I hate myself more strongly then I've ever loved anything. Why did God even make me if it knew what a loser I would become?

 

[YouAreAwesome]

One job.

Do at least one thing nice for someone else every day.

e.g. Write a letter to one of your kids telling them everything you love about them / the things your proud of.
e.g. Buy flowers for your wife

If you need more ideas start a thread on that topic.

I find the best way to get out of self-hate, is to look for ways to love others.

Furthermore, there's some practical things that help our state of mind:
1. Exercise
2. Healthy food
3. Sleep
4. Water
5. Only allow positive words to come out of your mouth
6. Rebuke negative thoughts (the fact is, you ARE awesome, even if you're not seeing it right now)
7. Get out in nature

Welcome to the forums, you're not alone in your struggles, and I respect your honesty.

YouAreAwesome.

 

[RC1970]

Hi. My name is Jay Chapman. I'm a 47 year old worthless nothing from Oklahoma City. I hate myself more than I can express. I have no talents, no ability to be good at anything, and I'm a total moron. The Bible says every life has a purpose, but I don't buy that anymore. The only purpose I seem to have is to show everyone else what failure looks like. I flunked out of school. I make minimum wage doing delivery driving for a copier company. My children don't live with me. They like me, but I think it's just a "I'm supposed too" sort of thing. I don't feel God's love anymore. The only thing I will ever do right is die. I don't understand why I even exist. I feel like God enjoys watching me suffer. I won't kill myself because I know I'm going to hell when I die and I'm not in any hurry to get there. Yes, that's my final stop no matter how many times I recite the sinners prayer and accept Jesus. He died for a whole world of people... I'm just not one of them. I look forward to dying in the sense that I won't hurt and disappoint my loved ones anymore. Besides, dying is all I have left to live for. Almost 50 years with nothing but a wake of destruction to show where I've been. I don't know what to do or how to live. I've reached the point that everytime someone wants to friend me on Facebook or Play Station Network, I ask them why they want to friend worthless idiot like me. I don't see the point in friends or family anymore, I'm no good to anyone. I hate myself more strongly then I've ever loved anything. Why did God even make me if it knew what a loser I would become?

Welcome to CF.

There are a couple of things I can see that you have going for you. First of all you write well. Secondly, you have children (I do not). Thirdly, you are married (I am not). I could go on, but I'm starting to depress myself.

You should consider seeing a therapist.

 

[Loser82070]

I've been in therapy lots of times in my life. Never did any good. When I hear a motivational speaker talk about all those things that helped them along the way and the tools and experiences they used to their advantge, it just reminds me of how useless I am and how I could never come out on top. My problem isn't mental illness... it's my existence! I can't and never will do or be anything.

 

[Dave-W]

I've been in therapy lots of times in my life. Never did any good.

Have you been discipled?

 

[Loser82070]

I don't even know what that means?

 

[drjean]

I hope that by coming here you will be able to realize that you are worth so much to God! (To me, that's all that really matters.) It's tough to hear of your depression, and I also hope that soon you will be able to change your user name to something a little more hopeful.
I know when we compare ourselves to others we get ourselves into trouble emotionally and spiritually... we always compare to what WE THINK is the truth about others when in reality they might be struggling too but putting on a face for others.
You're alive, you have children... those are accomplishments. As long as you are still breathing, you can have hope for change. In fact, I have found that even if I walked away from this life I have right now, tonight, I can begin again with a clean slate... Paul (in the New Testament) tells us "forgetting those things which are behind... and pressing towards the goal (that God has for us). We just can't get anything out of the past, living in the past does nothing for our future life.

AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCES (and third, fourth...well a many Mulligans as we need (do-overs))!!!

So make a list of things you want to change... and begin on that list. I always like to do the easiest first because it gives a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small!

Welcome ...you've come to a good place in your life!

 

[drjean]

PS Get off facebook--- unless you ONLY follow Christian websites like Samaritan's Purse or something, it will drag you down and away from God. IMO.

 

[Loser82070]

Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes the depression combined with the schizophrenia takes a toll and I go to a very dark place. I've been talking with some members, and I'm feeling better. I'm gonna donate my time and help out at the homeless shelters here in OKC. I really feel like I need too. I do love God/Jesus... I just lose my sanity every few weeks and... well, you read what that does to me. Yes I hear voices and the whole 9 yards. It's a tough thing to live with.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Im so happy you're doing better and will continue to pray for you.

 

[joshcorn]

Hi. My name is Jay Chapman. I'm a 47 year old worthless nothing from Oklahoma City. I hate myself more than I can express. I have no talents, no ability to be good at anything, and I'm a total moron. The Bible says every life has a purpose, but I don't buy that anymore. The only purpose I seem to have is to show everyone else what failure looks like. I flunked out of school. I make minimum wage doing delivery driving for a copier company. My children don't live with me. They like me, but I think it's just a "I'm supposed too" sort of thing. I don't feel God's love anymore. The only thing I will ever do right is die. I don't understand why I even exist. I feel like God enjoys watching me suffer. I won't kill myself because I know I'm going to hell when I die and I'm not in any hurry to get there. Yes, that's my final stop no matter how many times I recite the sinners prayer and accept Jesus. He died for a whole world of people... I'm just not one of them. I look forward to dying in the sense that I won't hurt and disappoint my loved ones anymore. Besides, dying is all I have left to live for. Almost 50 years with nothing but a wake of destruction to show where I've been. I don't know what to do or how to live. I've reached the point that everytime someone wants to friend me on Facebook or Play Station Network, I ask them why they want to friend worthless idiot like me. I don't see the point in friends or family anymore, I'm no good to anyone. I hate myself more strongly then I've ever loved anything. Why did God even make me if it knew what a loser I would become?

 

[joshcorn]

Dear Brother

I am new to this forum and maybe I should read the part where it says words not to use like devil.How soon we forget certain bible verses and words like devil that mybe the cause of our problem or feelings or thoughts in our head.Bible verse:


1 Peter 5:8-9King James Version (KJV)

8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.


The battle is on for you my Brother in the Lord.
Bible verse:


1 Corinthians 10-13
There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


<staff edit>

I am here to help you.I will keep you in my prayers.I hope this is a starting point for you in getting some answers.God made you and he said you are good.We all have a gift that He has put in use. You have not found it yet.Let me know if you wont to talk to me more on <staff edit> the calling of God in our lives.

 

[Loser82070]

Thanks Josh. I'm always open to discussion.

 

[joshcorn]

Thanks Josh. I'm always open to discussion.

Thanks for your reply.Let me know how you or doing over the comming days or weeks.Would like to stand with you.afeel free to ask me any questions.

 

[christianforumsuser]

I could say something soothing to make you feel better but I should rather not disobey God's Word or call it a lie. If you were mine I might rebuke you if you didn't already know that. If you need encouragement it might be available but has it been people or yourself or God who's led you astray or allowed it to happen. Do you expect to find something worthwhile here.
If you have sin you need to get that handled. Then I won't waste your time just giving support to heal symptoms revealed without telling you you have a very serious problem!

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

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