Is it easier to find someone as a male or female?

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I'm going to say it is easier for a woman to find a mate by default than for any random man. I could be wrong here. It just seems it is easier for a woman to find someone because there are less requirements. A man needs x y z, a woman just needs to show up. Anyone disagree if so am I wrong and it is fairly equal? It surely doesn't seem that way but interested in opinions here.

 

[MehGuy]

I think women have the upper hand in the younger years, men in the older years.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I think women have the upper hand in the younger years, men in the older years.

This is probably true given whats asked of women like looks and beauty gets progressively worse over time, and things like money for men get progressively better over time.

 

[MehGuy]

This is probably true given whats asked of women like looks and beauty gets progressively worse over time, and things like money for men get progressively better over time.

A combination of men tending to place higher value on youthfulness in their partner, and women tending to place higher value on resource accumulation from men more.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm going to say that if you're a very attractive man or woman, you're going to have a serious edge over unattractive men and women, and you'll likely get enough attention that it makes no sense to stress over whether the opposite sex gets more attention or not.

 

[pdudgeon]

I'm going to say it is easier for a woman to find a mate by default than for any random man. I could be wrong here. It just seems it is easier for a woman to find someone because there are less requirements. A man needs x y z, a woman just needs to show up. Anyone disagree if so am I wrong and it is fairly equal? It surely doesn't seem that way but interested in opinions here.

Oh how I wish it was as easy as just showing up.

The facts are that there just aren't enough great singles (or even just nice and kind and caring singles) out there who are willing to be known as being available in the first place.

Secondly, those who are willing to be known are spaced so far apart that even traveling 100 miles isn't likely to land any prospects.
And I hate to say it, but it seems like the only singles who want to be known are the scammers. And I'm getting so tired of just meeting scammers.

 

[pdudgeon]

A combination of men tending to place higher value on youthfulness in their partner, and women tending to place higher value on resource accumulation from men more.

I must be the exception then.
I just told a guy to stop running after a 10 million dollar contract, because there's more to life than green paper.

So to answer the OP, I don't think it's easy for anyone any more.

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

I'm going to say it is easier for a woman to find a mate by default than for any random man. I could be wrong here. It just seems it is easier for a woman to find someone because there are less requirements. A man needs x y z, a woman just needs to show up. Anyone disagree if so am I wrong and it is fairly equal? It surely doesn't seem that way but interested in opinions here.

Women have much smaller choice than men, especially with age. So, overall, the relationship game is the man's market so to speak.

But, of course, as in all statistical generalizations, it's not true for each and every man and woman. Masculine men with $$$ and women with better looks and softer personalities are the all-time winners.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I have always found it easier to wait for the woman to pick me (that's what they do). I just watch for the signals and make it easy for them, if I'm interested. Women take much more time to size up a man than men do women. When they feel secure they'll make a move if they're interested. But you have to be alert as sometimes those signals are quite subtle.

Disclaimer: This might not appeal to everyone.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm going to say it is easier for a woman to find a mate by default than for any random man. I could be wrong here. It just seems it is easier for a woman to find someone because there are less requirements. A man needs x y z, a woman just needs to show up. Anyone disagree if so am I wrong and it is fairly equal? It surely doesn't seem that way but interested in opinions here.

So you would accept ANY female that shows you any attention? Fat chance. Men have just as many requirements before they will even ask a woman out. And many men won't even ask a woman out that they are interested in....so we sit at home or hang out with our girlfriends.

And just because we are asked out, doesn't mean that the guy is a man of character or integrity or some one we can respect enough to eventually choose to submit to.

I think it is fairly equal. There is no magic formula for finding a good spouse. You simply have to meet the right one...which is like finding a needle in a haystack...or a more likely, a field of haystacks.

 

[PeachieKeen]

I am biased by my own experiences... But id definitely say men have it easier. Women aren't supposed to do any of the pursuing, so we just have to wait and hope to get picked... Which isn't so great if you're not exactly the cream of the crop. Plus Christian men usually take dating waaaaay too seriously and feel like they have to know you well enough to propose before they'll ask you to coffee. Meanwhile the "worldly" men are making plays left and right that you aren't interested in, but the good guys assume that because those kinds of guys are always hitting on you you're either not a good girl or you're way out of their league. Its a no win situation.

 

[blackribbon]

A combination of men tending to place higher value on youthfulness in their partner, and women tending to place higher value on resource accumulation from men more.

This is an age dependent thing. If I am an older single woman with an established career and have already bought everything I wanted and have the means to buy what I might want in the future, a man with an accumulation of wealth doesn't matter so much unless I see reason to expect he will drain my resources via self-centeredness or carelessness. Chances are the older man still wants a woman who appears "youthful"....though that is relative to his age (a 70 year old would find a 55 year old woman to be youthful). However, there are plenty of older men who really do want a woman who is a peer and is past childbearing years...we just aren't the ones who attract their eye as quickly. I am also finding that a lot of older men want women who won't touch their resources...they need to be financially comfortable separate from them.

 

[Cearbhall]

Depends on the sex ratio and the economy.

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

I respectfully disagree. In my personal opinion, I feel like we have equal difficulty. The pressure of society's expectations does not help either. Women have to be thin and beautiful, and they have to have this 'perfection' that does not exist. For men, it seems women expect them to have a financially stable situation and well paying job, and seem to be draw to more of the outward appearance than the inner. This is from both my experience and observation. Even as Christian's we tend to have certain expectations - which is not bad, we should have standards because we, as a person, are worth more than some side dude or chick or to be treated unfairly - but if those expectations are not met or if we are disappointed, our interest is lost. I feel like both genders have their own struggles. I have never been successful with physical dating; guys usually turn their head away, and my own desperation for a relationship eventually led me to Celibacy because it was interfering with my walk with the Lord.

My point is - I think one does not have it easier than the other but it is equal to both.

 

[LoveDivine]

I don't think it's different or harder for either gender. People are complex creatures and generally bad( apart from redemption), lol. So, meeting anyone who is unselfish and sane is a tall order

When things aren't going well it's easy to focus on the difficulties. Personally I think it's better to not care or focus on who likes or doesn't like you and just live your life. I think that's more attractive. Personally I find it a turn off when guys obsess over how hard it find nice girls/ and when women do it in return. I don't think it's productive or endearing to the opposite gender to focus on their negative qualities. Too many discussions about how women want rich guys and men want supermodels.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

This question is too subjective to give a definitive answer.

 

[Applekrate]

A great question and lots of really good and agreeable answers.
There is another difference that I did not see anyone write.
Generally speaking, a girl just has to look nice, be in the right places and show interest to attract men. If she does that, she will get what she craves ( attention ). Now, as others have written it may or may not be the kind of man she is attracting is the kind she wants. That is another issue. I have always said, if you dress like a tramp, that is the kind of man you will attract. It is still a minor mystery to me why some , most, women try to look as cheap as is possible. Even at church. When doing that, they only attract men wanting cheap women.
now, for guys, it is different. He can look his best, go to the right places and often times have no opportunity unless he makes the first move. If he is shy, focused on other things ( work, hobbies , etc ) or just does not make it a priority, he ends up alone and single. That partly describe me to a degree. I am normally not focused on meeting someone and that has hurt me relationship wise.
We need to make it a priority if we really want to be with someone.
Now, will make an explaimer here- The guy who looks good and gets out and does not show interest still does attract some women, just only a small fraction though.
good topic and discussion

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

This question is too subjective to give a definitive answer.

Not looking for a definitive answer though. Just peoples opinions and view on the subject. And there have been many.

 

[leothelioness]

I think if it were as easy as just showing up all of us single ladies here wouldn't be single. I think for either gender it is difficult to find a good person that is compatible with them. For some that is a lifelong endeavor.

 

[Paulie079]

As soon as I read the question, I knew the responses were generally going to be one gender saying the other has it easier, and especially the men saying the women have it easier. Literally the first sentence of the OP proved me right lol.
I think we can safely say that both men and women have their challenges. Men have the task of initiating, women have to more or less wait to be asked, which can be incredibly frustrating, especially nowadays when adolescence appears to have made its way into the late-20's. Both genders have character issues to work on, and relationships in general are hard. Once the timing and circumstances are right, you have to work hard to make a good relationship last and move on to marriage. There are challenges at every turn even after marriage. The assertion that women have to just show up to find a partner is completely unempathetic to their experience.