I wanted to touch base in my thread here because I would presume that there might be some out there who check in to see how I'm doing, or if anyone reading shares my affliction, they can be encouraged to keep fighting against addiction as I continue to.
The over-eating this continues and I really don't like it. I envy so many Christians at my church, how they are able to avoid the idolatry that entangles me. I keep over eating in the place of drinking. I'm taught that this is an attempt to fill myself, trying to find peace in things created rather than in the Creator. I hate that idea and I've prayed about it a lot. I really do pray that the Holy Spirit would lead me away from this behavior, that God would work in me the will and the power to turn from trying to medicate in anything at all, whether it be alcohol, food, or sleep.
I've been turning to sleep as well, trying to get a lot of it. I enjoy sleep-filled nights when I lay down sober because passing out drunk doesn't give you good, well rested sleep even though you are asleep all night. My wife and kids need me to stop looking to these things for satisfaction. I really want to be a better man. I want to be like all those clean living, devout Christian men that I see in my church life. They are wonderful husbands and fathers, their marriages are something to be envied, and they live in joy through a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. I want that. I don't know why my prayers to be lead into that life are not being answered, or at least not answered with the YES that I want. The only thing I can conclude is that God doesn't listen to my prayers due to my shortcomings as some verses of scripture show is possible.
He definitely heard the prayers of some of you though. That's really the only explanation I have for why I was able to break the cycle of addiction in April. I would ask anyone to pray that this would be given to me; the bettering of my heart, marriage, walk with Christ, fatherhood, etc. May he hear such prayers and act on them.
As I mentioned previously, I've posted my outreach for prayer on more than one discussion board. I thought I would link to another one of them here. As my username would indicate, I enjoy a hobby of shooting and hunting. The gun forum
www.ar15.com has a religion section that I have been posting in and those guys have been very involved with my recovery. For whatever reason, nobody here, nor on other Christian forums have done any more than post in my threads, but the guys at that gun forum have sent me private messages to include not only private encouraging words, but they opened their lives up to helping carry me through this season by providing me with their personal phone number and a welcome invitation to call them for any assistance they can offer. It was indescribably touching. There are others that keep at me, posting very regularly in my thread about their ongoing prayer on my behalf. It is that kind of companionship that carries me day by day.
Here's that thread:
Getting sober = your prayers would be appreciated. - AR15.COM
I'm not going to drink today because I love my kids so much. I do not want them to follow the road I've been on.