What's on your mind?

[PunkyChick]

I've been struggling a lot lately with my suicidal ideations and depression in general. I was recently asked by my S.O. if I still pray. To which I said no. She asked why so I told her it used to make me feel bad. She asked why again and the only thing I could think to reply was "Because praying only works for those without problems".

I know this point will be proven wrong with peoples own experiences, I'm not trying to defend it. But that is partially how I feel. I know also that many here would probably be among those that say I can't be a real christian because of how I'm living my life. I'm not trying to debate that either though I don't feel my life is contradictory to God.

I just wish I could figure out how to get past this problem I have of caring so much what others think. It's messed with my faith and it constantly adds to my depression and anxiety. I'd like to call myself a christian again but it's hard, all things considered. Even some of my christian friends have agreed with my worst thoughts about what it would mean for me to be christian. Being alone without fellowship.

Sorry if this is vagueposting or TMI or whatever. I'm just frustrated and this felt like the place to vent what was on my mind.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I've been struggling a lot lately with my suicidal ideations and depression in general. I was recently asked by my S.O. if I still pray. To which I said no. She asked why so I told her it used to make me feel bad. She asked why again and the only thing I could think to reply was "Because praying only works for those without problems".

I know this point will be proven wrong with peoples own experiences, I'm not trying to defend it. But that is partially how I feel. I know also that many here would probably be among those that say I can't be a real christian because of how I'm living my life. I'm not trying to debate that either though I don't feel my life is contradictory to God.

I just wish I could figure out how to get past this problem I have of caring so much what others think. It's messed with my faith and it constantly adds to my depression and anxiety. I'd like to call myself a christian again but it's hard, all things considered. Even some of my christian friends have agreed with my worst thoughts about what it would mean for me to be christian. Being alone without fellowship.

Sorry if this is vagueposting or TMI or whatever. I'm just frustrated and this felt like the place to vent what was on my mind.

I partly agree about prayer. I don't often pray because as I see it, it's basically asking God to get someone else to do it instead of making the effort yourself. Sometimes, though, that's all you can really do.

Stay strong. There have been times where I debated if my faith was worth it, based on how I've been treated. I had to keep reminding myself of my original goals for being a Christian: a happy ending for myself in a life that seems hopeless to me. Just know that you are loved and that society's norms are not God's norms, otherwise there would be no sin.

Now come here and give me a hug!

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Time to start thinking more positively.

I may have had both my arms and legs chainsawed off by my deranged auntie after she forgot to take her medication, put in the hospital for weeks and then some therapy to adjust to the new lifestyle but at least now I can save money on socks and gloves!

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I partly agree about prayer. I don't often pray because as I see it, it's basically asking God to get someone else to do it instead of making the effort yourself. Sometimes, though, that's all you can really do.

Stay strong. There have been times where I debated if my faith was worth it, based on how I've been treated. I had to keep reminding myself of my original goals for being a Christian: a happy ending for myself in a life that seems hopeless to me. Just know that you are loved and that society's norms are not God's norms, otherwise there would be no sin.

Now come here and give me a hug!

I use to not pray as well because I thought whats the point. But after getting deeper into the bible, prayer is important because it helps build your relationship with God, makes you feel better, puts forth your concerns before the father and leaves it in his hands and does change your situation(whether through immediate relief or through God answering your prayer also lets remember God can answer our prayers in ways we can't immediately comprehend) Jesus Christ prayed an incredible amount of his life, so it is definitely a worthwhile activity.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I use to not pray as well because I thought whats the point. But after getting deeper into the bible, prayer is important because it helps build your relationship with God, makes you feel better, puts forth your concerns before the father and leaves it in his hands and does change your situation(whether through immediate relief or through God answering your prayer also lets remember God can answer our prayers in ways we can't immediately comprehend) Jesus Christ prayed an incredible amount of his life, so it is definitely a worthwhile activity.

I do pray to God in a form of a one-sided 'conversation' when I am alone and have something on my mind. I just don't often pray to Him for things to get done. In my mind, I'd rather be the solution that others pray for rather than being the one praying for others to do.

 

[MehGuy]

Today has been so boring..

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Today has been so boring..

Should I whip out the monkey on the unicycle?

 

[Toro]

Pepsi is like magic in a bottle.

Yes, black magic....... and God said you are to have nothing to do with the detestable liquid.

 

[CodyFaith]

Yes, black magic....... and God said you are to have nothing to do with the detestable liquid.

Where? Sure let no thing control you, etc. but the same could be said about coffee and other addictive drinks.

Pepsi here and there is fine imo unless you have an issue with it. My issues finally under control with it I believe.

Unless there was more humor in the post than what I'm percieving lol

 

[CodyFaith]

Also wb??

 

[PunkyChick]

Thanks @Wayholka

For me it's just that most of what I might pray for are impossible things. Like to do with my mental illnesses. God doesn't seem to answer prayers about depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, or BPD. All things that make my life horrible to put up with. Medicine hasn't worked, tons of therapy hasn't put a dent in any of it. I just wish Praying would help but I've tried it a lot in the past without answer.

Also I miss being christian, or at least feeling a part of the faith, I wish I could find a fellowship near me that I could go to. The only two I've found are a bit out of my reach.

I think I need to talk to a pastor or someone like that. IDK.

 

[Toro]

Where? Sure let no thing control you, etc. but the same could be said about coffee and other addictive drinks.

Pepsi here and there is fine imo unless you have an issue with it. My issues finally under control with it I believe.

Unless there was more humor in the post than what I'm percieving lol

It was humor of course. Simply picking on you cause you like Pepsi is all.

 

[CodyFaith]

It was humor of course. Simply picking on you cause you like Pepsi is all.

Haha well I was pretty addicted to it at one point so in a way your post could be literal too

You still have the dr.pepper habit kicked?

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Yes, black magic....... and God said you are to have nothing to do with the detestable liquid.

Heretic! Ye in league with Dr. Pepper!

Thanks @Wayholka

For me it's just that most of what I might pray for are impossible things. Like to do with my mental illnesses. God doesn't seem to answer prayers about depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, or BPD. All things that make my life horrible to put up with. Medicine hasn't worked, tons of therapy hasn't put a dent in any of it. I just wish Praying would help but I've tried it a lot in the past without answer.

Also I miss being christian, or at least feeling a part of the faith, I wish I could find a fellowship near me that I could go to. The only two I've found are a bit out of my reach.

I think I need to talk to a pastor or someone like that. IDK.

If you miss being Christian, you're always welcomed back. God is not the one isolating you, it's his followers who have a poor understanding of how much God values everyone and wants us all to get along and help each other out. I'm not really part of any Christian group other than CF since I got some social problems of my own. Best thing is, the world is God's temple. God is everywhere and thus can be prayed to anywhere. I see myself as a lone wolf when it comes to serving God. Some people may not need a pack in order to be an effective wolf. I'm not saying that you should be alone, but take comfort that God is still with you whether you feel connected to others or not.

While yes it's true that prayer doesn't make mental illness go away like what many fundies claim, there is other kinds of meds, therapy, and support that God made possible. However, you mentioned that it has not worked and that I can relate to. Sometimes self therapy can do the trick. For example, I self medicate using humour. It's a healthy way of coping with a depressing life. As a believer in Bible Prophecy, I am sure that right now God is preparing to wipe out all the bad stuff out when the time is right. For now, he's allowing us to try to solve this mess we created ourselves. He's not willing to leave anyone behind.

I really do hope things get better for you. Things have been improving for me since about 2015 but still have some trauma to get over. I'm praying to God that someone or something positive will enter your life and give you the support you deserve.

 

[RayofSun]

"Miss A, if Easter is when Jesus died... why is everyone so happy? Why are we having a party to celebrate him DYING!?"

The response when I told my students we were having an Easter party today. Not quite the response I expected LOL

 

[CodyFaith]

"Miss A, if Easter is when Jesus died... why is everyone so happy? Why are we having a party to celebrate him DYING!?"

The response when I told my students we were having an Easter party today. Not quite the response I expected LOL

Hard to explain to children that Jesus chose to lay down his life and that the cross was a victory not a defeat.

I love kids. You're so blessed to work with them daily and influence them.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

"Miss A, if Easter is when Jesus died... why is everyone so happy? Why are we having a party to celebrate him DYING!?"

The response when I told my students we were having an Easter party today. Not quite the response I expected LOL

An anthropomorphic bunny breaking into my house to hide chocolate of questionable origins to celebrate the death of my Lord and savior? I'd be concerned too!

 

[RayofSun]

Hard to explain to children that Jesus chose to lay down his life and that the cross was a victory not a defeat.

I love kids. You're so blessed to work with them daily and influence them.

Aw thank you Cody, I may be tired and cranky sometimes, but at the end of the day I love my students and my job.

And you are right, it was difficult to explain... but I did it!
May have kind of messed up by starting with the talk about sin and hell but then tried again with the sacrifice talk and we ended up having a great discussion. So many lightbulbs went on! They always hear how "Jesus died for your sins" but many of them didn't actually understand what that meant. So hopefully I cleared things up just a smidgen.

An anthropomorphic bunny breaking into my house to hide chocolate of questionable origins to celebrate the death of my Lord and savior? I'd be concerned too!

LOOOL Right? I can completely understand my student's confusion. Nothing makes sense about this holiday to a kid who only sees half of the picture. Not to mention that a bunny brings the eggs... that they stole from a chicken? Odd.

 

[CodyFaith]

Nvm probs tmi lol

 

[MehGuy]

Sooo bored.