- Jun 9, 2016
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The verse in Matthew 6 isn't about receiving praise for your good deeds, it's talking about when people do "good deeds" that aren't really good deeds at all but are instead only doing things "for show". They never had compassion in their hearts, or any care for another - they just wanted to be seen like they do.I'm at the point in my life where I am suffering from chronic compassion fatigued. I have helped so many people in life and very few of them had the common courtesy to return the favor. God made me a certain way that was completely unacceptable to the world so my relationship with others is parasitic at best. They have no problem accepting my gifts of time, money and possessions but can't seem to include me in anything. Just more requests for handouts.
I'm also thinking, "What's the point of any of this? Is this actually going to please God, or will it all be a waste since I desired a little praise for my efforts?" Bible Verses like Matthew 6:1-4 make me feel that all my efforts are a waste because I like having a little praise in a life where I'm constantly told since birth that I'm defective and need to be fixed otherwise they might as well throw me in the trash.
The more I read the Bible, the more I feel that the cards are stacked against me on the Judgement day. I'd rather just die and get the Heavenly humiliation over with.
I understand what it feels like to feel like your works aren't seen or rewarded. I feel, myself personally, that I spent a lot of my life philosophically thinking about meanings to things, searching for truth and answers in life, in theology, etc. and my works have very little praise or respect. I've also experienced some great and amazing things from God himself, but again, these things aren't seen as desirable in many's eyes, Christians included. So all these things I've worked for, and striven for, and for what? To be walked on? To be dismissed as a regular Joe, as something common?(I think to myself as well).
But honestly, what's more beautiful then something that secret and hidden? What's more precious in God's eyes work-wise then work that's done that's hidden? Very little, if anything. Even I find those things to be the most beautiful of things... and I'm nothing to boast about, just a servant of the Most High.
Wayholka, one of the most highest callings in Christ is to do those secret good works imo. You're so far ahead imo I don't think you realize, you yourself aren't giving yourself enough credit.
Satan also wants you to make you feel like you are wasting your time. He hates those types of things, and he wants you to feel exactly how you're feeling about them because he himself believes it all to be in vain. Not saying it's all Satan, but remember that he does indeed do things like this.
We just gotta keep going. It's all we can do. I wholeheartedly believe you will see the fruit of your labor in this life, pieces of it of course not all, but you will see it.
Aslong as you find one person who appreciates you for who you are, that would be enough right? Because it would be for me. And I don't think that's asking God for much, to ask for that one person. He hears prayers like that imo. May not be his will, but it may.
Ever think of joining a church? I only ask because I did months back and have gained from going to church, not much yet, but a little. Right now it's still more work then it is reward, and I still don't feel I'm respected or cherished as much as I'd like to be, but I still go because it's what we're called to - fellowship. If you can't of course, then you can't... but I highly recommend it, to find a good church that believes in the right doctrines, and that has a stable healthy community of love, and to get all you can muster up to go.
I'll tell you something, every Sunday, and I mean every Sunday, I have the same routine. I almost not go each morning, each time with a different excuse (and they're valid excuses) but God gets me up every. time. to go. It's like I don't even have a choice in it. And when I do go, although it has it's struggles, the payout is greater.
Hope some of this will at least encourage you a bit.
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