MotherFirefly
Well-Known Member
- May 10, 2016
- 1,728
- 1,833
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Private
I have analyzed his role in mine for months, now. I know it was for good- overall. The final analysis is he was there for good. I hope I was in his life for a good purpose, too. I am haunted thinking I may not have been. But, I won't ever know. You're right, wondering is just pointless speculation.
Yes, pointless speculation can somewhat define it. But it stems much deeper. I remember I had similar feelings one time for a person that split ties. A few times a week, if I woke up earlier than usual, or was sitting in trafic, or taking a shower, my mind would just wander through the basic routine questions. I constantly worried about whether or not he thinks about me positively, or thinks about me at all. It got especially bad if I thought about the possibility of him thinking negatively about me. That would just devastate me!
Eventually, I got the opportunity to find out. I ran into him at some public place, a supermarket maybe. The three of us exchanged hellos, and they went on their way.
I later realized that I spent a lot of time, living in an unhealthy mindset, for basically no reason. The time I wasted dragging myself down was time I could have used building myself up. It was just one of those life lessons that some of us must learn the hardway. The only thing I regret now is that I didn't have someone to tell me how needless it is to worry about what other people think. Or about what could be, or could have been. It only opens the door to those dark corners.
Keep your head level, your mind high, and your heart beating strog. Life is too precious to spend time wrapped up in negativity.
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