A word to the husbands.

[MrsSmith]

Hi,

I have been looking for videos on YouTube, articles or something similar about the verse of the Bible "A word to the husbands"

1 Peter 3:7New King James Version (NKJV)

A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

That verse clearly teaches that a wife must be treated as a fragile/weak vessel. Instead, many are mistreated and their husbands say that they do not submit to them. They are building a wall and yet they wonder whats the matter? I have yet to find a Pastor who is willing to call out the husbands who do not treat their wives properly. The Bible states: "that your prayers may not be hindered"

Being this way, why there are not more teachings about this matter?
I'm in my 3rd year of marriage and my husband yells at me, calls me names and he says that I do not honor him.

He has called me names for not closing a bottle of water tight enough. For not walking as fast (the speed he wants) he does. He has yelled at me for not telling him how close from a wall he was while backing up in the car. OK, guys you can tell me the reasons why a wife deserves to be yelled at, or called names (like stupid, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], damn child, pig black nasty pig)

Sometime ago, I met a self call missionary couple, they knew about our issues. I asked them to help me and what they did? NOTHING.

I do want to hear from Preachers/Pastors/Christians why is that NO ONE calls out the husbands who mistreat their wives.

 

[mkgal1]

I'm sorry for what you're going through (and it sounds like, with no support). That may be your first step---to find some sort of community of support. One option may be this Christian counselor (and her FB community): http://southlakecounseling.org/

I don't think I can link it....but one of the problems may be in the marital model your church subscribes to. If you wish to know what I mean....Google "removing the fig leaf blueprint for marriage".

It may be better for you to begin a thread in the Married Women's Only sub-forum---are you able to use this link (if not, you may have to request that a moderator give you access): http://www.christianforums.com/forums/married-women-personal-topics.1113/

 

[MrsSmith]

Thanks.
We don't go to that church anymore. They moved to a new location and has not tell us where, even tho we have ran into one another at the Grocery Store.
I was not able to find the Married Women's Forum, how one ask for access to the Moderator?

 

[mkgal1]

Thanks.
We don't go to that church anymore. They moved to a new location and has not tell us where, even tho we have ran into one another at the Grocery Store.
I was not able to find the Married Women's Forum, how one ask for access to the Moderator?

That's strange---but it's probably for the best anyhow.

You can send a PM to either @FreeinChrist or @Kristen.NewCreation and ask for access to the Married Women's Only sub-forum (just click on their names and an option should come up to message---"start a conversation").

 

[Mudinyeri]

Giving honor = valuing.

Weaker is comparative. We are all weak. This transliterates more as "delicate" in today's parlance.

So, a paraphrase might be, "Men, value your wives like fine China."

The NLT puts it this way: ... you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.

Of course, the chapter opens with Peter's instructions to wives. Are you following those instructions? Do you honor your husband? I ask only because you did not give us that context - only the complaints about your husband.

As I often say, "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth."

I would highly recommend the Biblical couples' study, Love and Respect. It may be that your husband feels that you do not respect him and, in turn, treats you the way that he does. Almost never is one spouse entirely at fault.

 

[mkgal1]

She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.

Also.....I think "weaker" can be meant as "less powerful" (culturally)....as women were dependent on men (either husbands or sons) at the time.

 

[Mudinyeri]

Also.....I think "weaker" can be meant as "less powerful" (culturally)....as women were dependent on men (either husbands or sons) at the time.

Women were, essentially, property at the time. So, yes, they were most definitely culturally less powerful.

 

[98cwitr]

I doubt you will find much support from an SBC church. Try to find a CBF affiliated church in your area. They will probably be better at providing the support you need. I very sorry to hear this. Respect must be shown for love to be fostered. Without respect and communication, love between people is doomed.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Thanks.
We don't go to that church anymore. They moved to a new location and has not tell us where, even tho we have ran into one another at the Grocery Store.
I was not able to find the Married Women's Forum, how one ask for access to the Moderator?

@MrsSmith - I've dded your access to the women's forum.

Sorry for interrupting your discussion.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Hi,

I have been looking for videos on YouTube, articles or something similar about the verse of the Bible "A word to the husbands"

1 Peter 3:7New King James Version (NKJV)

A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

That verse clearly teaches that a wife must be treated as a fragile/weak vessel. Instead, many are mistreated and their husbands say that they do not submit to them. They are building a wall and yet they wonder whats the matter? I have yet to find a Pastor who is willing to call out the husbands who do not treat their wives properly. The Bible states: "that your prayers may not be hindered"

Being this way, why there are not more teachings about this matter?
I'm in my 3rd year of marriage and my husband yells at me, calls me names and he says that I do not honor him.

He has called me names for not closing a bottle of water tight enough. For not walking as fast (the speed he wants) he does. He has yelled at me for not telling him how close from a wall he was while backing up in the car. OK, guys you can tell me the reasons why a wife deserves to be yelled at, or called names (like stupid, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], damn child, pig black nasty pig)

Sometime ago, I met a self call missionary couple, they knew about our issues. I asked them to help me and what they did? NOTHING.

I do want to hear from Preachers/Pastors/Christians why is that NO ONE calls out the husbands who mistreat their wives.

Wjy would you choose to marry a guy like that? He probably wasn't like that when you agreed to marry him. Give me his name and number and I'll set him straight. What will he say in his defense. Give me both sides so I'm not going into this blind.

 

[MrsSmith]

Giving honor = valuing.

Weaker is comparative. We are all weak. This transliterates more as "delicate" in today's parlance.

So, a paraphrase might be, "Men, value your wives like fine China."

The NLT puts it this way: ... you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.

Of course, the chapter opens with Peter's instructions to wives. Are you following those instructions? Do you honor your husband? I ask only because you did not give us that context - only the complaints about your husband.

As I often say, "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth."

I would highly recommend the Biblical couples' study, Love and Respect. It may be that your husband feels that you do not respect him and, in turn, treats you the way that he does. Almost never is one spouse entirely at fault.

He seems to think that don't jumping into the street as fast he wants means disrespect and seems like not being able to walk as fast he does means disrespect .
Your question if I'm honoring my husband sounds like there is a point in life where husbands are allowed to curse their wives?
That is part of the problem, not only for me but for other married women who are trashed by their husbands who are supposed to take care of them, as their own bodies.

 

[MrsSmith]

Wjy would you choose to marry a guy like that? He probably wasn't like that when you agreed to marry him. Give me his name and number and I'll set him straight. What will he say in his defense. Give me both sides so I'm not going into this blind.

He did not use to curse me when we were dating. I keep asking him if his parents were like this? Where all this nasty words that he uses against me comes from? He says that I'm too sensitive and that my family over protected me. I say: Yes! In my home people do not curse each other, and they dont yell at one another!! Why is that because I dont like swear and cursing makes me over protected or too sensitive?

Thanks for your kind words, I appreciate!

Honestly, I'm fed up of churches and fake preachers who would not call the sin out but let it go, so the money keeps coming in!

 

[Mudinyeri]

He seems to think that don't jumping into the street as fast he wants means disrespect and seems like not being able to walk as fast he does means disrespect .
Your question if I'm honoring my husband sounds like there is a point in life where husbands are allowed to curse their wives?
That is part of the problem, not only for me but for other married women who are trashed by their husbands who are supposed to take care of them, as their own bodies.

He did not use to curse me when we were dating. I keep asking him if his parents were like this? Where all this nasty words that he uses against me comes from? He says that I'm too sensitive and that my family over protected me. I say: Yes! In my home people do not curse each other, and they dont yell at one another!! Why is that because I dont like swear and cursing makes me over protected or too sensitive?

It sounds as though the two of you have significant cultural differences. Moreover, it sounds as though you may be inclined to quickly jump to illogical conclusions, e.g. "[it] sounds like there is a point in life where husbands are allowed to curse their wives." I said no such thing. I'm merely asking questions, trying to get a complete picture. My wife and I frequently counsel married couples. Asking provocative questions often brings out the truth. As I said, there are almost always three sides to every story.

What would your husband say if he came here and posted to "complain" about you? Put yourself in his shoes. Walk a mile. What is he feeling? What causes him to act the way he does? Try to be as honest and insightful as you possibly can in this exercise.

 

[mkgal1]

He says that I'm too sensitive and that my family over protected me. I say: Yes! In my home people do not curse each other, and they dont yell at one another!! Why is that because I dont like swear and cursing makes me over protected or too sensitive?

That's a typical thing for a person that's *insensitive* to say to others (especially the ones they're hurting). Personally.....I'd much rather retain my healthy sensitivity so that I'm not as apt to treat others rudely. It's also a way for people to cause you to doubt your own judgement.

 

[mkgal1]

Mrs Smith.....does that link I posted earlier work for you now?

 

[LinkH]

Mrs. Smith, maybe you could point your husband to the passage where Jesus warned against calling your brother 'thou fool' or 'raca'. Say we don't go around callign people 'raca' these days. What are some other names thi principlle applies to and see if he'll give you a list.

Name calling is very destructive to a relationship. When I was a teenager, I had to repent fo calling my brother named. I realized I shouldn't call someone an 'idiot' in traffic, either.

 

[Dave-W]

I keep asking him if his parents were like this? Where all this nasty words that he uses against me comes from? He says that I'm too sensitive and that my family over protected me.

This reminds me of what a counselor told my wife and I. He said that starting a marriage together is like being in a play. So he hands me "Macbeth" and my wife "A Midsummer Night's Dream."

"Start reading on page 10" he said. Of course the dialog did not line up at all. His point was that we have come from vastly different dynamics and backgrounds, even if we grew up next door to each other and attended the same church.

 

[MrsSmith]

It sounds as though the two of you have significant cultural differences. Moreover, it sounds as though you may be inclined to quickly jump to illogical conclusions, e.g. "[it] sounds like there is a point in life where husbands are allowed to curse their wives." I said no such thing. I'm merely asking questions, trying to get a complete picture. My wife and I frequently counsel married couples. Asking provocative questions often brings out the truth. As I said, there are almost always three sides to every story.

What would your husband say if he came here and posted to "complain" about you? Put yourself in his shoes. Walk a mile. What is he feeling? What causes him to act the way he does? Try to be as honest and insightful as you possibly can in this exercise.

How can I know what is he feeling? You say "I may be inclined too quickly to jump into conclusions"
Since you said that I may be doing something that makes my husband treat me that way, that implies that somehow a wife is guilty for being mistreated. That is victim blame. Have you heard about this? How can you counsel anybody if you are implying that the victim of name calling, cursing is in fault? I have been quite for 3 years, I have asked for help and I was told that I should not tell anyone bad things about my husband. How come!??
I do not call names anyone, I do not yell at anyone, my parents never called names to each other or any other relatives call names or yell at each other. So, how come in the world I can be remotely to blame for somebody's bad behavior?
What I'm supposed to do if I can't walk like other people? There is no way that it is going to change, nobody can;t change people's physical capacities!! But my husband goes nuts just because I'm left behind walking!! Is frustrating. The Bible is clear on how to treat others, wife, husband, sister, neighbors and it does not include call them names or curse them!

 

[MrsSmith]

Mrs Smith.....does that link I posted earlier work for you now?

Yes, thanks a lot!!
I send it to him too.

 

[Mudinyeri]

How can I know what is he feeling? You say "I may be inclined too quickly to jump into conclusions"
Since you said that I may be doing something that makes my husband treat me that way, that implies that somehow a wife is guilty for being mistreated. That is victim blame. Have you heard about this? How can you counsel anybody if you are implying that the victim of name calling, cursing is in fault? I have been quite for 3 years, I have asked for help and I was told that I should not tell anyone bad things about my husband. How come!??
I do not call names anyone, I do not yell at anyone, my parents never called names to each other or any other relatives call names or yell at each other. So, how come in the world I can be remotely to blame for somebody's bad behavior?
What I'm supposed to do if I can't walk like other people? There is no way that it is going to change, nobody can;t change people's physical capacities!! But my husband goes nuts just because I'm left behind walking!! Is frustrating. The Bible is clear on how to treat others, wife, husband, sister, neighbors and it does not include call them names or curse them!

If you go back and carefully re-read my posts, there was no victim blame. I never said that you were doing something to make your husband treat you a certain way. I only asked questions - questions intended to draw out the details and truth of the matter. It seems those questions have served their purpose.