Hi hank,
Since you bring up annulments, if I may expound. You mention that the RCC in some cases will authorize one in the cases of physical abuse or desertion. That isn't actually the whole truth as far as the reasons under which the RCC grants annulments. The RCC has devised this scheme by which they can actually bring about the result of a divorce without actually having to use that word. Example:
My parents were married for 25 years. My father had often been seeing other women throughout this period of time. Not always, of course, but it was fairly regular that he would have a 'girlfriend'. He was a man with a wandering eye and I loved him as my father and it wasn't until I was well into my teens that I caught on to his activities. My parents marriage had had its rough patches throughout those 25 years, but from their union 4 children were born. However, 25 years was to be the end of their marriage. My father was then sleeping with his secretary at work and had been for quite sometime. Of course, the secretary that he was sleeping with was a 'good' catholic girl.
After the legal divorce, my father and the secretary (the 'good' catholic girl) wanted to be married. However, being a 'good' catholic girl, she would only marry my father if it would be sanctioned by the 'church'. Of course, my father was not a part of the catholic organization throughout all of this time, but after his divorce and while continuing his relationship with the 'good' catholic girl, he had converted and I suppose done all the catechism and what not that brings one into their fold. So, my father applied for an annulment of his 25 year marriage to my mother. Now my mother had never been physically or mentally abusive to my father. She had never abandoned the marriage bed and they had been married by a 'christian' pastor - my grandfather. He had been and was a preacher of the truth for all of his life. He became a pastor as his very first job and pastored up until his health just wouldn't allow it any longer, but even in his very late years he was often called to fill in for vacationing or temporarily empty pulpits. He was a godly man and a praying man and spent his life teaching the love of Christ. My parents were married in his fellowship in a sanctuary with all the accouterments that a formal wedding usually has. My mother wore a lovely white wedding gown and my father stood dapper looking in his fine tuxedo. It was a real wedding performed in the presence and with the knowledge that they were being joined together under God's decree of joining two flesh to become one.
However, the RCC, and I was never privy to the actual testimony that my father gave them in his request, granted the annulment. My father married the 'good' catholic girl and life goes on.
This is probably one of the main reasons that I would never be a part of such a farcical group. How in the world someone can think that they can make a determination as to whether a marriage of 25 years was a 'real' marriage or not just absolutely escapes me. How, with the supposed authority of God, a man can just up and say that a marriage performed in the 'church', of course catholics won't agree that their marriage was 'in' the 'church', wasn't valid is totally outside of my limited ability to understand or comprehend. And all 'good' catholics are ok with these things simply because they happen with the 'churches' blessings.
I don't agree that the 'church' has such authority. Two people who commit their lives together in marriage, even if it's not done in a fellowship service, are married. If the two stand and vow to each other that they are committed to each other until death do they part, they are married. As I honestly understand, and I believe the Scriptures teach, my father's relationship and marriage to his secretary was nothing more or less than fornication and the 'good' catholic girl married a divorced man. But, the catholic organization teaches that they have the power and authority to break the vows that two people make before God and to God. They teach that they have the power and authority to make things that are, as if they were not.
Thanks for allowing me to give my testimony in these things.
God bless you.
In Christ, Ted