I'm a Christian, but my girlfriend is Atheistic

[Robert Lent]

Hello there.

My name is Rob, and I've created an account and decided to post here because I would appreciate some support for this current situation. I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the proper spot, but everything is as follows: The title says it all. I am very strong in my faith, and have given my life to the Lord. However, my girlfriend has not. She asked me earlier if I am supposed to hate her because she's Atheistic. I replied with the following: "As a Christian, I am supposed to love all. Though a person does not believe in my Lord, they are still to be loved, and I'm supposed to try to bring them to Christ. I respect if those are your views, but my responsibility is to try my best to do so." From here, I'm not really sure where to go. I honestly feel as if the Lord has brought me to this girl through events and thoughts that have occurred fairly recently, as if he put this together. I'd like to bring her to Christ, but I don't really know how I would go about doing it. I just really can't determine how to deal with this situation. I would really appreciate if someone could give me some advice, personal experiences, etc. Thank you very much, and take care.

Best regards,
Robert Lent

 

[Soyeong]

Hello,

Is she willing to read a book on the topic? If so, then I recommend that you have her read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. You should read it too if you haven't so you can discuss it.

https://www.dacc.edu/assets/pdfs/PCM/merechristianitylewis.pdf

 

[Robert Lent]

Hello,

Is she willing to read a book on the topic? If so, then I recommend that you have her read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. You should read it too if you haven't so you can discuss it.

https://www.dacc.edu/assets/pdfs/PCM/merechristianitylewis.pdf

Not really... :/

 

[Soyeong]

Not really... :/

That's a shame, it's not a long book. You should read it anyway though because it's a great book and so you you can talk to her about some of the concepts in it. There's also some great doodle videos on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/user/CSLewisDoodle

 

[RC1970]

I would say that it is okay for a Christian to just be friends with an atheist, however, I would not let it go any further than that unless they are willing to commit to Christianity.

I have had some girl friends who were not Christians and those relationships didn't last long because I refused to negotiate by beliefs. And, in each case they were the ones that broke it off.

"The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion." ~ Proverbs 28:1

 

[GracetotheHumble]

I'll be honest with you and you are probably not going to like what I have to say. But the bible says not to be yoked together with unbelievers. Also light has no fellowship with darkness. I really don't think a Christian should be in a relationship with an unbeliever. I only date Christians myself which is probably why I am single. God bless. GracetotheHumble

 

[Archaeopteryx]

Hello,

Is she willing to read a book on the topic? If so, then I recommend that you have her read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. You should read it too if you haven't so you can discuss it.

https://www.dacc.edu/assets/pdfs/PCM/merechristianitylewis.pdf

I had a friend who gifted me a copy of Mere Christianity just over a year ago. On the back cover, one reviewer noted that it was ideal for the "half-convinced." I think that's what my friend thought I was - half-convinced - and he hoped that Lewis would do for me what he had done for him. The trouble is that I'm not half-convinced, I'm unconvinced. Rob's girlfriend may be the same.

If one is going to discuss religion, I don't think one should assume to know the thoughts of the other person before the discussion has even begun. Perhaps Rob's girlfriend was never raised religious, or perhaps she was, and after considering the matter closely she found that she could no longer believe. Perhaps she has already read Lewis. Perhaps she's also read Nietzsche.

 

[seashale76]

I am not a fan of the missionary dating. It's one thing if she's interested in the topic of religion and asks you questions about your faith, however, you really can't change someone's beliefs. It's not up to you and what you can do. Sure, pray for her. You should be doing that. However, why are you setting yourself up for heartache and going against your own faith to be with her in the first place? I don't think you're doing either of you any favors here and it isn't fair to either of you. What if she decides to never convert? You're already basing your relationship on the idea of changing her to suit your own sensibilities- and that's no bueno.

Christians are not supposed to marry outside of the faith. The only exception to this, scripturally, is if a non-Christian couple is married and then one coverts to Christianity after marriage. Then, they stay married at the discretion of the non-Christian member of the couple.

For the Christian, everything can be related back to communion/eucharist. Marriage is a sacrament. It is also considered a martyrdom. You deny yourself for the sake of your spouse. You also aren't joined together with someone who also isn't in communion. When one is baptized into Christ they are part of the body of Christ- the temple of the Holy Spirit- receiving Christ in the Holy Mysteries. Being joined to someone who isn't also in communion/part of the body of Christ is a serious thing to us. It's a big no no.

 

[GracetotheHumble]

What fellowship does light have with darkness.

 

[Archaeopteryx]

What fellowship does light have with darkness.

This is just rude and condescending. If you find non-Christians so loathsome, then don't associate with them. You will find that difficult, however, to surround yourself with people who believe exclusively what you also believe. If you apply this standard to all your beliefs, and not just religious ones, then you'll find yourself alone.

 

[Archaeopteryx]

I am not a fan of the missionary dating. It's one thing if she's interested in the topic of religion and asks you questions about your faith, however, you really can't change someone's beliefs. It's not up to you and what you can do. Sure, pray for her. You should be doing that. However, why are you setting yourself up for heartache and going against your own faith to be with her in the first place? I don't think you're doing either of you any favors here and it isn't fair to either of you. What if she decides to never convert? You're already basing your relationship on the idea of changing her to suit your own sensibilities- and that's no bueno.

Christians are not supposed to marry outside of the faith. The only exception to this, scripturally, is if a non-Christian couple is married and then one coverts to Christianity after marriage. Then, they stay married at the discretion of the non-Christian member of the couple.

For the Christian, everything can be related back to communion/eucharist. Marriage is a sacrament. It is also considered a martyrdom. You deny yourself for the sake of your spouse. You also aren't joined together with someone who also isn't in communion. When one is baptized into Christ they are part of the body of Christ- the temple of the Holy Spirit- receiving Christ in the Holy Mysteries. Being joined to someone who isn't also in communion/part of the body of Christ is a serious thing to us. It's a big no no.

Why should it be considered taboo? My partner and I met as teenagers. I was a devout Christian at the time and she was (and still is) an atheist. We rarely discussed religion, but she knew what my beliefs were and she respected my decision to be involved in the church. She never challenged my beliefs overtly, though she wasn't partial to the idea of me studying theology, mainly because she didn't think it would lead anywhere. (I decided to study philosophy instead). She never tried to "deconvert" me. That happened on its own as I studied Christianity more deeply. Somewhat ironically, we now talk about religion more than we ever did when I was religious.

The taboo against marrying people outside of the faith seems to be a strategy to protect faith; a way of distancing one's self psychologically from people who might bring faith-based beliefs into doubt. If one's faith is strong, then what does one have to fear from people who do not share the same faith? What does one have to fear from inquiry and the questions of those who do not believe?

 

[GracetotheHumble]

This is just rude and condescending. If you find non-Christians so loathsome, then don't associate with them. You will find that difficult, however, to surround yourself with people who believe exclusively what you also believe. If you apply this standard to all your beliefs, and not just religious ones, then you'll find yourself alone.

I make my friends in the Church and not out in the World. My best friend is Lutheran. I don't hang out with unbelievers as we have nothing in common.

 

[Archaeopteryx]

I make my friends in the Church and not out in the World. My best friend is Lutheran.

The church is in "the world." The separation Christians like to invoke between the church and "the world" is arbitrary and meaningless.

I don't hang out with unbelievers as we have nothing in common.

Absolutely nothing in common? I find that hard to believe. Do you apply a similar standard to your interactions with people who disagree with you on other matters, such as in politics or entertainment?

 

[GracetotheHumble]

The church is in "the world." The separation Christians like to invoke between the church and "the world" is arbitrary and meaningless.

The church is a separate kingdom where believers dwell together in peace and love. But I wouldn't expect someone of the world to understand this distinction.

Absolutely nothing in common? I find that hard to believe. Do you apply a similar standard to your interactions with people who disagree with you on other matters, such as in politics or entertainment?

Politics and entertainment are actually two major reasons I generally have nothing in common with those in the world. Usually someone in the world is going to be listening to Eminem and excited about gay marriage. I have nothing in common with this and therefore we have no fellowship.

 

[Albion]

I think there's nothing to be toooo worried about at present. Assuming that this is not a relationship that has been going on for years and years, I'd say to give it time and try to BE a good Christian.

That would most likely make a bigger impact upon your GF than all the reasoning with her that you could do. IF, in the long run you two stay together and marriage is in view, THEN you would have a harder decision to make.

But for now, I wouldn't say you are doing anything wrong being with her and that the most effective action you can take is to show her, without pressuring her, what it means to be a Christian. If she values you (which she does), she cannot fail to see that this is part of what makes you what you are.

Hello there.

My name is Rob, and I've created an account and decided to post here because I would appreciate some support for this current situation. I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the proper spot, but everything is as follows: The title says it all. I am very strong in my faith, and have given my life to the Lord. However, my girlfriend has not. She asked me earlier if I am supposed to hate her because she's Atheistic. I replied with the following: "As a Christian, I am supposed to love all. Though a person does not believe in my Lord, they are still to be loved, and I'm supposed to try to bring them to Christ. I respect if those are your views, but my responsibility is to try my best to do so." From here, I'm not really sure where to go. I honestly feel as if the Lord has brought me to this girl through events and thoughts that have occurred fairly recently, as if he put this together. I'd like to bring her to Christ, but I don't really know how I would go about doing it. I just really can't determine how to deal with this situation. I would really appreciate if someone could give me some advice, personal experiences, etc. Thank you very much, and take care.

Best regards,
Robert Lent

 

[Archaeopteryx]

The church is a separate kingdom where believers dwell together in peace and love. But I wouldn't expect someone of the world to understand this distinction.

I saw that coming a mile away...

Politics and entertainment are actually two major reasons I generally have nothing in common with those in the world. Usually someone in the world is going to be listening to Eminem and excited about gay marriage. I have nothing in common with this and therefore we have no fellowship.

I hope you don't think this is rude of me to say, but it sounds like you live in a fundamentalist bubble.

 

[GracetotheHumble]

I hope you don't think this is rude of me to say, but it sounds like you live in a fundamentalist bubble.

I live in a bubble where I follow my faith in Jesus Christ and walk in the light. This includes not taking pleasure in sinful deeds of darkness.

 

[Albion]

I hope you don't think this is rude of me to say, but it sounds like you live in a fundamentalist bubble.

How can that NOT be rude?

 

[Archaeopteryx]

How can that NOT be rude?

You have someone here equating nonbelievers with "darkness" and my post is singled out as rude?

 

[seashale76]

Why should it be considered taboo?

The taboo against marrying people outside of the faith seems to be a strategy to protect faith; a way of distancing one's self psychologically from people who might bring faith-based beliefs into doubt. If one's faith is strong, then what does one have to fear from people who do not share the same faith? What does one have to fear from inquiry and the questions of those who do not believe?

Reread my last paragraph. That's why. The taboo isn't about protecting the faith so much as the eucharist. I didn't mean it in some vague spiritual way- it was meant to be taken literally. We take the eucharist literally as the body and blood and Christ. When one partakes of the eucharist then Christ is in them. Partaking unworthily can bring about death- and the divide is actually about protecting both parties. It's not about fear or inquiry/questions from non-believers.