Hi guys; so this is kind of an opinion question I guess. Im a 16 year old girl (a sophomore in high school) and it seems like just about every girl wears skinny jeans and jeggings and leggings (basically, form fitting jeans) practically every day. Rarely do I see a girl wear boot leg or other less form fitting jeans (and those that do still wear tight jeans sometimes). I wear types of jeans that arent as form fitting, more loose jeans because I feel like thats more modest and like it is what Jesus would want me to do. But I feel like boot cut jeans (and other non-form fitting types) are unflattering and I really dislike the way I look in them. My question is, what do you think about Christians wearing skinny jeans? The reason Im hesitant to wear them is because I dont want to make guys lust when they look at me, but am I just being overcautious and will it not make any difference either way? Will guys look at my butt (as awkward as that sounds, lol) no matter what I wear anyway?
I pray about this a lot and I feel like I am at a crossroads. Thinking that Jesus wants me to be as modest as possible but also knowing that he wants me to be comfortable with my body (and I feel kind of unattractive and lack confidence in my appearance when I wear boot cut and other non-form fitting jeans.) What is your opinion on this- girls, do you wear them, and do you think Jesus approves? And guys, do you have thoughts as well; do you have more trouble keeping pure thoughts around woman wearing skinny jeans? Thanks for sharing your thoughts, guys!
Modesty has always been more about attitude than apparel.
The flappers in the 1920s who astonished and outraged their prudish contemporaries with their audacious style of dress actually revealed far less of their skin and showed off less of their figure than a modern outfit for a similar occasion. It was their exuberant sassiness, exalted confidence, and daring embrace of their youth and desire to defy conventions that really was more remarkable than what they were wearing. The dress emphasized and reenforced the attitude; it didn't create it. Skinny jeans wouldn't have the same statement as a flapper dress even though it more predominantly showcases your figure because the times, perceptions, and context have changed. As you wrote in your post, skinny jeans are hugely popular at your school. You're not raising brows or creating a scene by wearing that jeans style to your school when you'll be blending in rather than standing out in them. If you had an attitude that accompanied them, being overtly flirtatious and intending to be provocative and generate lust, then it might be immodest, but the jeans on their own are fine. Wear what makes you feel comfortable physically and socially.
I think it's awesome that you can even wear jeans to school. I'm looking forward to that at college. With the exception of two years at an elementary school that didn't require a uniform, I've been wearing one my entire academic career thus far. It's actually was what helped me to realize that lust is not something we're responsible for invoking by our outfits alone. I get hit on the most when I'm in uniform (and I rarely wear makeup or do anything special) and when I'm working out and am smelling and looking funky. If guys look at you, they're doing so with their own eyes they control. The intentions behind their reactions are as important as the intent behind our actions. I don't think a guy reflexively checking a girl out is inherently wrong so long so long as he doesn't do it in a way that is deliberately seeking to objectify her or make her feel uncomfortable. If they feel lust, they can mitigate those feelings. If you deliberately set out to cause lust and temptation, especially in inappropriate ways, that's one thing, but if it's something generated simply by dressing normally, that's not your responsibility to manage. There are women in burkhas who inspire lust. There's a review on Yelp for a coffee place near my school written by a man warning other men to stay away from there in the mornings and afternoons because it's "jailbait central" when we are all there in our "schoolgirl fantasy uniform." The review was circulated around kind of in amusement. We're not offended, outraged, or feeling exploited, and we're definitely not feeling guilty or making modifications. It's not our responsibility. I don't think he was a lecherous predator; he was just honest about his reaction. 50 years ago when the uniforms were dowdy and loose, completely unflattering to the figure, I'm sure there were guys and men who took special notice of the girls, too.
Another thing. Confidence is more alluring than self-consciousness, so if more guys are drawn to you in skinny jeans that you feel good in, it could have more to do with your vibe than your booty. All in all, I think Jesus would want you to focus on more important things than skinny jeans.
