Looking for judgemental and non-judgmental advice

[Life2Christ]

I just want to cry. Been dating single dad for 2 weeks. Although I really like him I am not feeling an emotional connection. I am very, very attracted to him. Every time we see each other it is sin city. I told him how I feel. He says I need to give it time. I know how real love is supposed to feel and this aint it. I do like him and he is sweet and makes me laugh and I can't resist him physically but something is wrong. Do I need to really end this or just wait it out? He is very into me but I already envision him dumping me.

I found out he is a preacher's kid (Methodist) and is very involved in his church but in body only. He is not sold out to Jesus but is raising his kids in the church for tradition's sake.

 

[sparkydave]

I guess I'm a little puzzled. You like him, you're very attracted to him, he's sweet, he makes you laugh, he's very into you and after 2 weeks you already envision him dumping you? Relax! Just how many dates have you been on in two weeks? Expecting to feel real love in 2 weeks seems to be rushing things just a tad. I can agree you need to "click" with the other person a bit, but maybe he's getting a feel for you first. Give him a chance. Maybe he's like me; I'm a little cautious initially in a relationship, and I woudn't want to scare her off by moving things too quickly.

Good luck!

 

[Ophanim]

Just reading your post I see warning lights flashing all over the place, and you pretty much answered your own question. Can you have a serious conversation with him about sincerely following God?

Can you both have the same conversation that you are having here? Being patient is advised but do not put all your eggs in one basket, because if his father is a preacher he should know better, and if he does not......no matter what you do, you will never change him...

Better you find out now than later.

 

[Life2Christ]

You both bring up good points. And no...he knows I am a christian but we don't talk about God. I feel like I can't go there yet with him. This is part if the problem...one of them. He has alternative beliefs but doesn't want to share them with me yet. Feel like I am having an affair with the devil.

 

[blackribbon]

Okay...first, two weeks is way too soon to feel "love" for anybody. You can't know them very well in just two weeks. Love is something that grows.

That said...do you want God to be part of your marriage?...because you won't suddenly find room for Him later if you can't claim Him now. You are setting your relationship habits now. If he has "alternate" beliefs...he doesn't think you will like them or he wouldn't be afraid to share. So maybe it is time to walk away before you do fall in love and it gets even harder to walk away from a Godless relationship.

 

[dayhiker]

Most new relationships have things to work out and it takes a lot of time.
I have a relationship with a lady Its an hour flight away from me for 17 months. We have spent a fair amount oi time together for being that far apart. But in the last 2 months I've learned about a whole knew side of her that I didn't know about before. So even at 15 months I had a big surprise and not a good one.

I do think you need to be able to talk about everything, to be heard and and be able to hear what the other person is saying. If nothing else use this relationship to practice some of those communication skills.

 

[Messy]

You both bring up good points. And no...he knows I am a christian but we don't talk about God. I feel like I can't go there yet with him. This is part if the problem...one of them. He has alternative beliefs but doesn't want to share them with me yet. Feel like I am having an affair with the devil.

Get away and don't look for someone similar.

 

[dayhiker]

Life is the emotional distance there because he isn't emotional, isn't emotionally reaching out to you/not letting you in emotionally? Or is it something in you that can't give emotionally to him?

Is it because of sin city that you can't allow there to be an emotional connection?

Trying to think of all the ways I can't think you wouldn't feel that emotional connection.

 

[blackribbon]

Life is the emotional distance there because he isn't emotional, isn't emotionally reaching out to you/not letting you in emotionally? Or is it something in you that can't give emotionally to him?

Is it because of sin city that you can't allow there to be an emotional connection?

Trying to think of all the ways I can't think you wouldn't feel that emotional connection.

Most emotional connections take time to build. They haven't had much time getting to know each other. Women usually don't build that emotional connection naked (at least early in a relationship)...it is the quality time outside the bedroom that builds it for women. We know that men can have a physical relationship without really caring for the woman so that time together doesn't really prove anything except that they like getting their needs met and we happen to be handy.

 

[paul becke]

Trust your instinct. So much tells you that you like this man, but your instinct is stronger. and that would be for a very good reason.

 

[dayhiker]

black .. I know what your saying .. I was just asking life to clarify her her comment that she wasn't feeling an emotional connection as she saying she isn't feeling an emotional connect.

 

[Johnnz]

Being a PK can inoculate a person from a real faith for several reasons. He may well be a nice guy, but you must evaluate what priority you give to a partner who really shares your faith.

John
NZ

 

[KnowHisJoy77]

Sin city, feels like having affair with the devil, feels something is wrong, he has alternative beliefs, can't talk about Jesus, faith etc? Run!

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

What specifically is it that "feels" missing, or do you not know? Most times if we feel something is missing, then it isn't mean to be. However, other times it could just be fear....

And what do you mean by "sin city"?

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I just want to cry. Been dating single dad for 2 weeks. Although I really like him I am not feeling an emotional connection. I am very, very attracted to him. Every time we see each other it is sin city. I told him how I feel. He says I need to give it time. I know how real love is supposed to feel and this aint it. I do like him and he is sweet and makes me laugh and I can't resist him physically but something is wrong. Do I need to really end this or just wait it out? He is very into me but I already envision him dumping me.

I found out he is a preacher's kid (Methodist) and is very involved in his church but in body only. He is not sold out to Jesus but is raising his kids in the church for tradition's sake.

It doesn't matter what his heritage is. He is a dedicated User of Women quite obviously and someone who is currently far from God. After he has had a good bout of pleasure with you, he will go.

If I were a woman who was highly attracted to such a man physically, I would call on my common sense and Gods loving moral mandates to exit the situation at once.

 

[miss-a]

Feel like I am having an affair with the devil.

Dear One,

I know what it's like to be single for a long time. But is anything worth this feeling you describe as a result of no longer being alone? It was stated above that he makes you happy, but this doesn't sound happy at all. I'm not judging you, but rather fear for you. I realize it feels like you have to go through this in order to have someone, but you don't. It's a lie from the enemy. I hope you'll reconsider. There could be a guy who doesn't make you feel that way right around the corner, but if you're with this guy there's no room for something better.

Prayers for you,
a

 

[Life2Christ]

Dear One,

I know what it's like to be single for a long time. But is anything worth this feeling you describe as a result of no longer being alone? It was stated above that he makes you happy, but this doesn't sound happy at all. I'm not judging you, but rather fear for you. I realize it feels like you have to go through this in order to have someone, but you don't. It's a lie from the enemy. I hope you'll reconsider. There could be a guy who doesn't make you feel that way right around the corner, but if you're with this guy there's no room for something better.

Prayers for you,
a

 

[Chad Farwell]

Get away, but look for someone more similar to you

 

[com7fy8]

We love you; how are you doing?

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

Honestly it sounds like one of those times when you need to chose following God or your flesh. I would chose God and run! What do you mean by sin city? Sex? If so I'm sorry but that is lust not love my dear and you need a man who loves God and who will draw you closer to God not away into sin. find a better guy who will respect both you and the Lord