Sorry but, if don't believe the sacraments are a means of grace your theology isn't Methodist despite your membership, and your doctrinal views are only partially Wesleyan in regards to grace.
That isn't intended as a slam. But the sacraments being a means of grace is a HUGE part of Wesleyan theology. So your disagreeing with it isn't a minor doctrinal difference but instead a major disagreement with Methodist theology that invalidates any purpose for baptism and communion in Methodist doctrine.
Look up John Wesley's sermon "The Means of Grace" and take a read. Or John Wesley's "The Duty of Constant Communion" for starters. You might also want to read "This Holy Mystery" and "By Water and the Spirit" the official doctrines of the Church on communion and baptism.
"Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors" isn't an invitation to be a Methodist who doesn't believe in United Methodist doctrine. That isn't what it is about.
Can I ask what you mean by "eternal security" as about from Once Saved Always Saved? They seem to me to be the same thing.
I take no offense, no worries there. I am well aware that communion and baptism are considered a means of grace by Methodists. Honestly, I don't think the Bible is entirely clear on those issues, though. I am perfectly open to being convinced if they are clearly portrayed that way, since I don't think I've ever done a serious study on those topics (but we can start a new thread for that if you'd like to discuss it... I don't want to totally derail this one). I truly believe in keeping the main things the main things, though, and I don't think God is going to condemn us because of how exactly we understood those things when we stand before Him (although I am sure He will indeed correct me if I'm wrong). It is enough, I believe, that we trust in Him fully for our salvation and obey Him in faith regarding those things He clearly commanded us to do.
I am not a member of the church, I am a regular attendee though. I go there because my parents attend there, I am basically Arminian in my views, it is close, and the fellowship there is good. I am not even sure if a church exists that I agree with on everything, although I am probably closest to the Calvary Chapel movement (which is the faith icon I use). I post here because you are a good group of people, I attend a UMC, and because I do know the basics of Methodist theology.
OSAS, the way I understand it, means you pray a prayer of faith and you're sealed by the Holy Spirit forever, regardless of how you respond to the Holy Spirit, grow in faith and grace, or even if you completely quench the Spirit and live like a demon. It is also closely related to predestination as Calvinists interpret it. I completely reject that. Of course, some would probably point to perseverance of the saints and say such a person was never truly saved.
To me, eternal security is for the believer. No matter how badly I sin, the Lord will forgive me if I truly repent and come back to Him. This is not a license to sin all I want and then repent on my deathbed! Sin hardens our hearts, warps our souls, and if we persist in it we will reject God in our heart and He will respect our choice and let us go. I don't know where the line is drawn, and I don't think God wants us to know where the line is drawn... otherwise we would have a tendency to walk right up to the line and live there. The Bible speaks of both our security as a believer (Romans 8:38-39 and elsewhere) and warns us that persistent habitual sin is not compatible with the Christian life (1st John 3:3-9 and elsewhere).
God bless;
Mike
EDIT------------
After further reflection and rereading what I wrote, I guess what I just described can't really be called eternal security. I am still in the process of learning and growing... sorry for any confusion.