Should Christians make prenuptial/post-nuptial agreements?

[blankCrossfire]

For example:
-You get engaged but your spouse will not go along with the marriage unless you agree to a prenupt.

Should Christians make prenuptial/post-nuptial agreements?
What advice would you give to someone in this situation?
Thanks

 

[David Sylvian]

For example:
-You get engaged but your spouse will not go along with the marriage unless you agree to a prenupt.

Should Christians make prenuptial/post-nuptial agreements?
What advice would you give to someone in this situation?
Thanks

Should anybody? I guess if you are super rich... but it strikes me as a bad thing. I can not imagine doing that my own self. Relationships should be about love not some empty pseudo-sexual legal agreement.

 

[Gailerina]

I find this a hard question, because it's not hard for people to be fooled. Even the wisest person can be fooled by someone.

If you have a lot of money, maybe I can see it making sense.

I'm an average American...no one will get rich when I die.

 

[OGM]

I suppose it is no different than performing a background check on someone you are dating or about to date.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

For example:
-You get engaged but your spouse will not go along with the marriage unless you agree to a prenupt.

Should Christians make prenuptial/post-nuptial agreements?
What advice would you give to someone in this situation?
Thanks

Ok here is my advice, this happened in my family, so yes, I AM an expert in this area

for the spouse who is demanding a pre nup, keep up your conviction and MAKE the other person sign it. if you think just because your future husband is going to act in a manner of integrity should you get a divorce, all I am going to tell you is dont be stupid ( I say this from personal experience).

And if your spouse refuse to sign it, ask him straight up, are you marrying me for love or for my money, if he says love, then just say to him " what is the problem here?"

For anyone who is being asked by their future spouse to sign a pre nup, if you are a guy, all I am going to say is be a man.

as the guy, you should take some pride in the fact that as a man,you should be making your own fortune, rather than relying on potential divorce settelment from your wife.

You should also take some pride in the fact that as a man, it is also your job to provide and protect your family, not the other way round.

there is nothing is more degrading for a man to become a kept toyboy on a woman's money. Especailly if you are a Christian.

so yes, be a man and grow a pair.

 

[RDKirk]

I don't like the concept at all. Christian-Christian marriage, both should be convinced that divorce is not acceptable to Christ.

However, this is a fallen world, and whereas the culture of the Body of Christ should support reconcilation, Western culture--particularly "I have a right to be happy" American culture encourages divorce.

So one can't be sure.

 

[Spunkn]

I won't sign one should I end up getting married. Should I find someone it will be someone who believes in marriage as much as I do, and that divorce is not an option.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I won't sign one should I end up getting married. Should I find someone it will be someone who believes in marriage as much as I do, and that divorce is not an option.

I think the key here is that your future wife should be able to trust you not want to take a cent that does not belong to you in the first place.

Not on how much she believes in marriage.

I am sure all Christians want to be married for life, but in real world, there is never any guarantee.

And if one cant trust their spouse integrity, and I personally think no one is 100% trust worthy, they should definitely make their future spouse sign a prenup.

Shamelessness is part of human sinful nature.

That is just the way it is.

 

[QueSeraSera]

Yes . A prenupt protects everyone.

 

[TheDag]

Depends on circumstances. I personally believe marriage is for life. My belief did not stop my wife from walking out on me and our kid. Sometimes it is beyond a persons control with a pre-nup. I always thought they were setting up to fail but have changed my mind. One example was a family business where family members were joint owners. In the case of a separation that can actually rip apart and destroy a family business if there is no pre-nup to protect it. Why should others be affected because one or two people can not get on or stick with it and sort out problems?

Any suggestion that a male should make their own way because they are a man in my opinion is just plain stupid. Should I when I got married insist that food for the pets my wife have come from her personal spending money rather than joint funds? Of course not but that is what people are saying should have been done if a man should sign a pre-nup simply because he is a man. It is like insisting the other person gets rid of any bad habits before you marry them. That would not be love. It would not be accepting the other person as they are.

 

[asiyreh]

I suspect the Jews might have had traditions such as these. Christ doesn't comment on them. His concern is for the spiritual growth of the family in a love and respect environment. And that the family once it has come together should love one another and not desire to be apart.

 

[Knee V]

It is simple: if you think you need one, then don't get married.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Any suggestion that a male should make their own way because they are a man in my opinion is just plain stupid .

just basic male pride that seem to become less and less common these days.

I am sorry to see you think it is stupid that guys should not have some pride and make their ways.

Should I when I got married insist that food for the pets my wife have come from her personal spending money rather than joint funds?

I was referring the situation of where the wife contributed more the marital asset, and the fact should they get a divorce, the husband should behave like a man with a pair and say, " you can take away whatever it is you have contributed to the marriage, as I don't want a cent from you"

Again, issue of being a man

Of course it is not always so black and white

but a man should take pride in being the provider of the family.

Of course not but that is what people are saying should have been done if a man should sign a pre-nup simply because he is a man. It is like insisting the other person gets rid of any bad habits before you marry them. That would not be love. It would not be accepting the other person as they are.

I am not sure what you are talking about here.

I do think our society is getting more and more pathetic by the day, judging from the fact many guys these days think it is perfectly acceptable to ask a woman to support them.

anyway, what does signing a prenup has anything to do with asking a person to get rid of their bad habits?

or has anything to do with love?

Like I have said, if a guy is not after his future spouse money, and simply want her for her, then grow a pair and sign the prenup, how hard is that?

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

It is simple: if you think you need one, then don't get married.

or if your future husband insist on not having one, don't marry the loser.

 

[Spunkn]

I think the key here is that your future wife should be able to trust you not want to take a cent that does not belong to you in the first place.

Not on how much she believes in marriage.

I am sure all Christians want to be married for life, but in real world, there is never any guarantee.

And if one cant trust their spouse integrity, and I personally think no one is 100% trust worthy, they should definitely make their future spouse sign a prenup.

Shamelessness is part of human sinful nature.

That is just the way it is.

Word it however you want. I will not sign one just because it's the worldly thing to do. My marriage will be based on God and upon our faith in Christ. If my marriage wasn't able stand upon our foundation in God, then it matters not what she takes from me, because I've already lost it.

If I choose the type of person who would take everything from me then I made a bad decision to begin with.

 

[Spunkn]

or if your future husband insist on not having one, don't marry the loser.

Like I have said, if a guy is not after his future spouse money, and simply want her for her, then grow a pair and sign the prenup, how hard is that?

So now people who disagree are losers. Nice.

By signing the prenup you are saying you care more about your valuables and wealth than you care about her. You are saying you care more about what happens to your stuff if a divorce happens then you care about not having a divorce in the first place.

 

[Knee V]

or if your future husband insist on not having one, don't marry the loser.

Do not marry someone with whom you do not see eye-to-eye, naturally.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

If I choose the type of person who would take everything from me then I made a bad decision to begin with.

the point I was referring to is you would not take everything that belong to your ex wife, things that does not belong to you.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

So now people who disagree are losers. Nice.

LOL chill buddy, that was mean as a general statement.

Was I referring to you or Knee V as losers.

NO

 

[BlunderAngel]

For example:
-You get engaged but your spouse will not go along with the marriage unless you agree to a prenupt.

Should Christians make prenuptial/post-nuptial agreements?
What advice would you give to someone in this situation?
Thanks

If one or both people have a great deal of equity, or liquid assets, absolutely.

There's an old saying. God helps those who help themselves.

What can seem like forever today at the altar, can seem like eternity in a divorce. Sometimes, the process of divorce when there is a lot of community property to be considered and divided without a prenup or postnup, can last longer in the fight than did the marriage.

Post/Prenups don't show that you don't love your future or present spouse. Just the opposite. It shows you love them enough to want to take care of them, and you also love yourself enough to avoid being taken to the cleaners.
The wrong marriage, learned after the fact, shouldn't be costly.