Questions about Celibacy?

[iambren]

"In the situation described above, the man feels that he is behaving improperly toward a woman and that it would be better for him to marry her. But what if the woman doesn't feel the same way? What if she can control herself? I would think that many woman can control themselves. Though this isn't such with all woman, but generally we can keep our desires in check. Should she refuse his proposal? "

Yes,she should refuse his proposal because you are already going in unequally yoked. That's asking for trouble.

It begs the question--"why am I getting married?" What if he said "Hey,will you marry me. I want to have sex,guilt free, but I don't feel any need for that kissing,holding hands,snuggling stuff". Would you marry him.

Like salvation,marriage calls us to lay ALL on the altar of covenant. If you can't do ALL I believe it wrong to marry because it hurts the OTHER person. Can you imagine being stuck with a lifetime partner who would not hold you,comfort you,love you. Or the aching heart of one who longs for the physical oneness and pleasure of marital sex--for life!

Oh,and don't think that you can just do it out of duty and all will turn out ok. Often sex drive/involvement dips after the honeymoon and resentment can easily slip into what is a duty.

 

[KaylaHansa]

"In the situation described above, the man feels that he is behaving improperly toward a woman and that it would be better for him to marry her. But what if the woman doesn't feel the same way? What if she can control herself? I would think that many woman can control themselves. Though this isn't such with all woman, but generally we can keep our desires in check. Should she refuse his proposal? "

Yes,she should refuse his proposal because you are already going in unequally yoked. That's asking for trouble.

It begs the question--"why am I getting married?" What if he said "Hey,will you marry me. I want to have sex,guilt free, but I don't feel any need for that kissing,holding hands,snuggling stuff". Would you marry him.

Like salvation,marriage calls us to lay ALL on the altar of covenant. If you can't do ALL I believe it wrong to marry because it hurts the OTHER person. Can you imagine being stuck with a lifetime partner who would not hold you,comfort you,love you. Or the aching heart of one who longs for the physical oneness and pleasure of marital sex--for life!

Oh,and don't think that you can just do it out of duty and all will turn out ok. Often sex drive/involvement dips after the honeymoon and resentment can easily slip into what is a duty.

I think you misunderstood my point. I meant the woman wants to marry the man, she loves him, is attracted to him, but the thing is most woman are desperate for love and romance. We can control sexual lust but we yearn affection and admiration from the opposite sex. But the Bible makes it seem like you shouldn't get married if you can control your sexual lust. Also, with God's help, we can do anything, right? So it seems to me that all Christians should be able to control sexual lust if they trust in God to help them, so no Christians should get married. But I know that can't be right... because God still supports marriage... do you understand what I'm saying?

 

[John a Baptist]

The Bible says it is better to marry than to burn.....celibacy is better, but if you cannot control your urges, then it is better to marry. Celibacy is better, but marriage is also good.The Lord wants us to be happy, and if this is a contentious issue with people, then He gives us a way to deal with it. I am happily married for 22 years now, and life couldn't be better.....others are perfectly content serving our God as single individuals, and that is awesome too! Both are great as long as you are happy, and stay in good Biblical standing with God....

 

[Digout]

The Bible says it is better to marry than to burn.....celibacy is better, but if you cannot control your urges, then it is better to marry. Celibacy is better, but marriage is also good.The Lord wants us to be happy, and if this is a contentious issue with people, then He gives us a way to deal with it. I am happily married for 22 years now, and life couldn't be better.....others are perfectly content serving our God as single individuals, and that is awesome too! Both are great as long as you are happy, and stay in good Biblical standing with God....

For a full time ministry of Jesus that involves carrying the cross daily, celibacy is a must.

 

[St Antony]

Celibacy was clearly prepared in the early church, as Jesus and Paul attest (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 27, 32-35, 38; Matthew 19:3-12; Revelation 14:3-5) Thousands of men and women left the world for monasteries where they labored for God in a celibate lifestyle. Celibacy for clergy was encouraged from an early date, however, many priests did not comply for centuries because it went against the cultural norms in their societies. By the later Middle Ags most Catholic Clergy and Orthodox clergy above parish priest followed celibacy.

Besides being encouraged in Scripture, celibacy for clergy has much to recommend it. A pastor with a wife and children has many obligations that will compete for his time and resources. He must tend his congregation but must also support a family and be a husband. For any married man, the last two of these tend to require much attention leaving less for the first. A celibate priest, however, can devete 100% of his life and attention to serving God and ministering to his church. Moreover, his material needs are relatively light and he is much less of a burden on his parish than if he had a wife and children to support.

 

[98cwitr]

Matthew 19:9-12



9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”


1 Corinthians 7:36-38



36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. 38 So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.


In the situation described above, the man feels that he is behaving improperly toward a woman and that it would be better for him to marry her. But what if the woman doesn't feel the same way? What if she can control herself? I would think that many woman can control themselves. Though this isn't such with all woman, but generally we can keep our desires in check. Should she refuse his proposal? It seems that the Bible teaches that a person who is able to accept celibacy, should.


And if the person that chooses to control himself does better than the person who marries, then shouldn't all Christians strive for this? We are supposed to love the Lord with all our heart, so shouldn't we strive for the best? Isn't one of the fruits of the Spirit self-control? But striving for celibacy is never something I hear taught. I always hear teachings on marriage, though.



Maybe I'm missing something? Thoughts/opinions/explanations?

1 Corinthians 7:36-38
New International Version (NIV)
36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[a] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

They're engaged...so she's said "yes"

I agree...Christ teaches that those with enough faith, with enough strength in the Lord should be celibate and live such a life. He said this knowing that most wouldn't.

I say this as an engaged man myself...who has led a sinful life and has repented of many sins. I what I am willing to admit is that while I was able to control my urges, I was not willing...this demonstrates a LACK of faith, and I make no excuse for that.

 

[Bluelion]

I think you misunderstood my point. I meant the woman wants to marry the man, she loves him, is attracted to him, but the thing is most woman are desperate for love and romance. We can control sexual lust but we yearn affection and admiration from the opposite sex. But the Bible makes it seem like you shouldn't get married if you can control your sexual lust. Also, with God's help, we can do anything, right? So it seems to me that all Christians should be able to control sexual lust if they trust in God to help them, so no Christians should get married. But I know that can't be right... because God still supports marriage... do you understand what I'm saying?

I think i see what you are asking.

First marriage is a blessing from God, man and woman were meant for each other, to be together, as companions in Life. This was all set be for the great fall, back in the garden.

What you are referring to is Paul saying it best not to. He was speaking of a life in service to Jesus, such as he was, a prophet. If you remember Peter left his wife and kids. If you are to be a disciple of Christ, Jesus said what you must do, you must give up everything, now this is different from a preacher. this is a true prophet of God. Such a person maybe blessed with gifts of healing, predicting the future according to God, very strong Faith. There are two named in modern times that show what this would look like. They are the two witness in Revelations.

Make no mistake marriage is a blessing. but somethings you should know.

Jesus said Moses gave the decree of divorce, but it was not meant to be, it was not the way God meant it. but Moses new the hearts of humans and so he gave a way out. Jesus also gave a way out through adultery, but as he said God never meant it that way. If you get married you need to plan on Life, no divorce, no matter what, and unconditional Love for each other. This is the way God intendant. Not everyone can do this and is another reason Paul said it was best not to.

It is a great and wonderful gift, but it takes a lot of hard work. If you do it plan for life, and know it is work, and there will be good and bad times. It is a covenant with another person before God until death. Two become one. do not take it lightly.

i hope that answers your question.

Oh one more thing marry for love, for a persons heart, not for any other reason.

 

[Digout]

I think i see what you are asking.

First marriage is a blessing from God, man and woman were meant for each other, to be together, as companions in Life. This was all set be for the great fall, back in the garden.

Wife is meant to help man, not dominate him or claim equality--a modern trend that is not accepted by the Bible!

What you are referring to is Paul saying it best not to. He was speaking of a life in service to Jesus, such as he was, a prophet. If you remember Peter left his wife and kids. If you are to be a disciple of Christ, Jesus said what you must do, you must give up everything,

Right.

now this is different from a preacher.

Sorry. The role and responsibilities of a preacher have been misunderstood and misinterpreted conveniently! Jesus and apostles practiced what they preached. Modern day preachers eke out a living in the guise of sharing the word as they feed their families in a wordly way.

Make no mistake marriage is a blessing. but somethings you should know.

Marriage is honorable; neither it is holy nor a great blessing. It is meant for the weak.

Jesus said Moses gave the decree of divorce, but it was not meant to be, it was not the way God meant it. but Moses new the hearts of humans and so he gave a way out. Jesus also gave a way out through adultery, but as he said God never meant it that way. If you get married you need to plan on Life, no divorce, no matter what, and unconditional Love for each other. This is the way God intendant. Not everyone can do this and is another reason Paul said it was best not to.

Two souls are involved. It is not one way street of unconditional love: wife submitting to the authority of her husband and husband loving and protecting his wife.

It is a great and wonderful gift, but it takes a lot of hard work. If you do it plan for life, and know it is work, and there will be good and bad times. It is a covenant with another person before God until death. Two become one. do not take it lightly.

Oh one more thing marry for love, for a persons heart, not for any other reason.

Marriage invariably involves carnal love. But God demands agape love.

 

[Bluelion]

Wife is meant to help man, not dominate him or claim equality--a modern trend that is not accepted by the Bible!



Right.



Sorry. The role and responsibilities of a preacher have been misunderstood and misinterpreted conveniently! Jesus and apostles practiced what they preached. Modern day preachers eke out a living in the guise of sharing the word as they feed their families in a wordly way.



Marriage is honorable; neither it is holy nor a great blessing. It is meant for the weak.



Two souls are involved. It is not one way street of unconditional love: wife submitting to the authority of her husband and husband loving and protecting his wife.






Marriage invariably involves carnal love. But God demands agape love.

Yeah i would reject pretty much every thing he said.

For one women are equal and yes in a marriage also. Eve had an equal part in the garden like Adam. Jesus put great importance on women with mary magdline being the first he appeared to after the resurrection, and he sent her to tell the others of his resurrection, pretty important task.

Sorry are you a preacher? You don't seem to understand there are different roles in the church. a prophet of God is not the same as a preacher of God, The rank would go to the prophet if we went by that system.

Maybe you did not hear of Ester who stop a man from wiping out the Jews by her petitioning her husband.

You lack understanding

to the OP you must understand you going to get this from some people who feel threaten by women, and the only way they can feel secure is to try to rule over a woman instead of share their life with her. In Fact is was the curse of a woman that she should be ruled over by her husband. i personally think Jesus set us free from those curses imposed on us through Adam and Eve sense we are now in the royal family line and not that of fallen man and woman.

It shows a persons unwillingness to forgive, if a man holds that curse over woman then the curses are held over him. Mans was he shall not eat with out much much hard work of tilling the ground. Ask this guy if he planets his food or buys it in the grocery store.

It's pride, men have a big issue with it than women so ladies you will have to forgive us.

Peace and Love
blu