Ever Considered Being "Unchurched?"

[benromana]

Hello Everyone,

All my life I've been attending church services but lately have considered not being a member of any church. However, I will continue to be a devoted follower of Jesus as I've been these past 15 years.

This idea came to a boiling point in the past month when a brother-in-law challenged me to a fight during his party while discussing our views on faith. This BIL is a weekly church goer (Catholic), his son is an altar server, and everyone in his (my wife's) family is devoutly Catholic.

These past many years, I'd been mulling the notion that churches reach a point of ineffectiveness, the peter principle if you will, in terms of strengthening our personal bond with Jesus and, ultimately, enabling us to live Christ's true intent.

The RCC in particular (and it's the only one I know since I was born and raised Catholic) seems to be strengthening instead the bond between its members and the clergy, the Pope, its dogmas, and its rituals. But attending Masses all these years, I've not felt the RCC push me to create and develop a bond with Jesus Himself.

Back to my 50 year-old BIL (who has apologized, by the way, and I've forgiven him), in my eyes he's an example of a church failing to make its members see that being Christian means, at its core, loving everyone according to Christ's personal teachings and the apostle Paul's missive to the Corinthians (1 Corinth, 13:4-8).

Maybe I'll consider joining a church or organization that focuses on Christ and "exercises" my ability, week-in and week-out, to be a better follower.

But until I'm convinced there's one, I think I'll be spiritually fulfilled observing - even if alone - one day each week of holiness and physical/spiritual rejuvenation consistent with the Sabbath teaching.

Has anyone dissociated himself/herself from any church (but continued to live a Christian life) and if so what has been your experience? If not, care to share your thoughts anyway?

Thanks a lot for reading and considering the ideas presented here.

PS My faith sign here is "Christian" as it reflects my true belief. I attend Mass to keep my wife happy (I know, weak reason)

 

[Hinton90]

Church definitely isn't a requirement, just the love and belief, and following the ways of Jesus.

You'll notice very often on here people arguing, which I deem completely pointless and not the point of Christianity, even people with 3,000 and more posts will argue, it's kind of sickening.

Fact is, there are a lot of denominations, chances are if you choose a denomination yours isn't 100% correct, because there are so many, who knows?

Nobody knows the truth 100%, but they will believe they do and argue constantly, and even get hostile over it, defeating the entire point of Christianity.

But back to the point, church is just a place where a group gathers to worship Him, it's not much more, and is definitely not a requirement, and is never said to be so.

 

[benromana]

Church definitely isn't a requirement, just the love and belief, and following the ways of Jesus...

But back to the point, church is just a place where a group gathers to worship Him, it's not much more, and is definitely not a requirement, and is never said to be so.

Appreciate your thoughtful reply. I'm in 100% agreement.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

Hebrews 10:25

King James Version (KJV)

25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

 

[disciple1938]

handmaid. good quote, but it says nothing of joinging or membership in a church or denomination. Just "assembling". I became unchurched a long time ago, mainly becaause of church politics and dogmas untempered by love. It works fine for me and actually gives me better fellowship with a larger portion of the body of Christ. No walls of contention. I don't suggest it as the way for others , but for myself it is great and God appears to bless it.

 

[benromana]

handmaid. good quote, but it says nothing of joinging or membership in a church or denomination. Just "assembling". I became unchurched a long time ago, mainly becaause of church politics and dogmas untempered by love. It works fine for me and actually gives me better fellowship with a larger portion of the body of Christ. No walls of contention. I don't suggest it as the way for others , but for myself it is great and God appears to bless it.

Appreciate your reply. How long have you been "unchurched?"

It's been two weeks now that I've not gone to church but have made it a point to reflect and pray on those weekends.

I do think church has its place, particularly during a person's formative years.

But, in my experience, as I sought a deeper connection with Jesus, I found my particular church (the RCC) unable to support that need. In fact I feel, as I commented in an earlier post, the RCC impedes that connection, maybe unknowingly.

 

[Bella Vita]

I urge you not to break away from church. It is in scripture that fellowship is very important. And the best way to build that support system in by being active and involved in a church ministry. The most active kingdom keeping their life on track Christians I know are the ones serving in churches. The ones sitting at home saying they believe yet don't attend church are the ones that fall back into their old life. You don't get challenged at home and you don't get the accountability and drive you need from the body of Christ. The body of Christ is very important to a believers journey. We are called to build one another up and carry each other in good and bad times. No church is perfect they are ran by sinning human beings. But we have to work together and work through situations. We have to go into a church more concerned with how we can give and serve not about what we can get from it. Try another church but don't leave all together. Praying for you...


Scripture on the body of Christ and fellowship...

1 Cor 12:25-27 There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

Acts 2:42 And they were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Psalm 55:14 We who had sweet fellowship together, Walked in the house of God in the throng.

 

[thesunisout]

Appreciate your reply. How long have you been "unchurched?"

It's been two weeks now that I've not gone to church but have made it a point to reflect and pray on those weekends.

I do think church has its place, particularly during a person's formative years.

But, in my experience, as I sought a deeper connection with Jesus, I found my particular church (the RCC) unable to support that need. In fact I feel, as I commented in an earlier post, the RCC impedes that connection, maybe unknowingly.

Ask God to lead you to a Spirit filled church that teaches the bible. I agree with what you are saying, but there are churches out there which will enhance and not impede that connection you are seeking. God bless.

 

[thesunisout]

handmaid. good quote, but it says nothing of joinging or membership in a church or denomination. Just "assembling". I became unchurched a long time ago, mainly becaause of church politics and dogmas untempered by love. It works fine for me and actually gives me better fellowship with a larger portion of the body of Christ. No walls of contention. I don't suggest it as the way for others , but for myself it is great and God appears to bless it.

We should all be planted somewhere and be involved with what God is doing through the local body in our communities. What ultimately matters is what the Lord wants us to be doing, and what the word of God says is that we should be working together with the believers in our community and assembling with them. Can the hand say to the foot, I have no need of you?

 

[BryanW92]

I know where the OP is coming from. My church is failing. I am a leader in the church, so the Pastor along with the two leaders held a workshop for anyone who wanted to come a few weeks ago where we gave talks on holiness and returning to the simplicity and true fellowship of the early church. They all listened attentively and when we were done and began to have discussions, they passively rejected everything we had just told them. Their basic response was, "If you guys want to do this, go ahead. Just don't do anything that affects anything we do now."

To make matters worse, once the people's direction was apparent, the pastor switched sides and started acting like he was in favor of continuing on our present course.

I'm quite disappointed in my church right now and I spent most of last week dreading Sunday for the first time in the years since I accepted Christ.

So, I just went to another church on Sunday. I haven't decided what I'm doing this Sunday yet, but giving up on worshiping in church with other believers is not an option.

 

[abysmul]

I've been unchurched for many years now. To be honest, "church" seemed to do more harm then good to my journey to Christ. On line resources (like here!), some good Christian friends, and a lot of Bible reading and prayer helped nurture my relationship with Christ far far far more than any "church". Looking back, it almost feels that "churches" got in my way, like they stood between me and Christ.

I'm very jaded, and disillusioned with the "churches" in my area.

 

[BryanW92]

I've been unchurched for many years now. To be honest, "church" seemed to do more harm then good to my journey to Christ. On line resources (like here!), some good Christian friends, and a lot of Bible reading and prayer helped nurture my relationship with Christ far far far more than any "church". Looking back, it almost feels that "churches" got in my way, like they stood between me and Christ.

I'm very jaded, and disillusioned with the "churches" in my area.

How big is your sample? How many churches did you try before you gave up on all of them? I'm disillusioned with the UMC right now, so I'm trying some non-denoms. To say that there are no spirit-filled churches is to say that there aren't any spirit-filled people or that churches have the power to draw the spirit out of you. I can't believe that.

 

[Hinton90]

You know... I'm non-denomination. I fully believe we are ALL Christians. We go by the name of Christian, and should not separate ourselves by denomination.

BUT, if you want a spirit filled church, Pentecostalism is sure to deliver. My great-grandma and a lot of my family are Pentecostal and I feel the love of The Lord every time I go down to visit and go to church with them, they sure are blessed people. It might just be the church, but the Pentecostals are very close to the original Christianity.

Just a suggestion, again, I'm non-denomination because Christ says we're all Christian, we shouldn't separate ourselves, but eh. If all else fails, try one of those. I warn you though, they are REALLY REALLY into the grace of The Lord, speaking in tongues, praising The Lord all the time, screaming praises, all while in church. I love it though.

 

[abysmul]

How big is your sample? How many churches did you try before you gave up on all of them? I'm disillusioned with the UMC right now, so I'm trying some non-denoms. To say that there are no spirit-filled churches is to say that there aren't any spirit-filled people or that churches have the power to draw the spirit out of you. I can't believe that.

I was born and raised in a UMC. I was also greatly exposed to Baptist churches. I took RCIA classes (Roman Catholic) and attended for a while as well. I've attended Episcopal services, non denominational, charismatic, and even what we call a "holy roller" service. I have a dear friend who attends a Church of Christ, but even by his own words they are oh so legalistic.


So many lukewarm congregations around here, and so many legalistic churches. So many "require" membership. So many are little more than social clubs. It's disheartening. I'm hoping to find a home church group.

I'm not saying there are no spirit filled churches around here, but they are clearly outnumbered by a vast margin.

I admit I'm jaded. I pray for guidance to congregation that I can fellowship with.

 

[Martinius]

Hello Everyone,

All my life I've been attending church services but lately have considered not being a member of any church. However, I will continue to be a devoted follower of Jesus as I've been these past 15 years.

This idea came to a boiling point in the past month when a brother-in-law challenged me to a fight during his party while discussing our views on faith. This BIL is a weekly church goer (Catholic), his son is an altar server, and everyone in his (my wife's) family is devoutly Catholic.

These past many years, I'd been mulling the notion that churches reach a point of ineffectiveness, the peter principle if you will, in terms of strengthening our personal bond with Jesus and, ultimately, enabling us to live Christ's true intent.

The RCC in particular (and it's the only one I know since I was born and raised Catholic) seems to be strengthening instead the bond between its members and the clergy, the Pope, its dogmas, and its rituals. But attending Masses all these years, I've not felt the RCC push me to create and develop a bond with Jesus Himself.

Back to my 50 year-old BIL (who has apologized, by the way, and I've forgiven him), in my eyes he's an example of a church failing to make its members see that being Christian means, at its core, loving everyone according to Christ's personal teachings and the apostle Paul's missive to the Corinthians (1 Corinth, 13:4-8).

Maybe I'll consider joining a church or organization that focuses on Christ and "exercises" my ability, week-in and week-out, to be a better follower.

But until I'm convinced there's one, I think I'll be spiritually fulfilled observing - even if alone - one day each week of holiness and physical/spiritual rejuvenation consistent with the Sabbath teaching.

Has anyone dissociated himself/herself from any church (but continued to live a Christian life) and if so what has been your experience? If not, care to share your thoughts anyway?

Thanks a lot for reading and considering the ideas presented here.

PS My faith sign here is "Christian" as it reflects my true belief. I attend Mass to keep my wife happy (I know, weak reason)

Join the club. Maybe we should create one here entitled "Disaffected Catholics" or something like that. It would be a big group. Perhaps there already is one.

Many people on this forum have moved to different churches and/or denomoninations for various reasons. In your case, it sounds like the Catholic Church has been ineffective in building your own faith, as it has for many others, including a large number (like you) who still may go to Mass but are really not having their spiritual needs met there.

I think you also hit on one of the main problems: The Catholic Church focuses on obedience to church laws and those in authority, building that temporal connection, and giving little attention to building the spiritual relationship of the individual and God within a community of the faithful. And the critical elements of faith for Catholics are the sacraments: Baptism, Eucharist, Reconciliation, Confirmation, etc. Many Catholics have the idea that if they keep "up-to-date" with those Sacraments that this all that is required of them and that all is well.

I think it is quite clear that the Catholic Church's aim (even if unstated) is to create an attitude of submission and obedience in the great majority of its membership (the laity, non-ordained religious, and even the lower level ordained) to the small "special" minority (bishops) who they say holds "the keys to the Kingdom of God" for all.

For those who want a formulaic system of faith that seems to guarantee salvation if one follows the rules, obeys its human leaders and says the right words, the Catholic Church works great. For you and many others like you it creates a huge emptiness in our souls where God should be at work.

 

[Tirgithin]

I have been unchurched for many years now. I think with me, it was a mixture of things. Disappointment that (part of) the Christians in the church were the same as the atheists I knew (nothing that made me really see them as examples of decent Christians, different from everyone else). Some held on to non-Christian beliefs. Also gossip, manipulations and abusing of power or simply using people.

To a lesser extend, I just did not feel connected with the people and did not really like that they wanted to know all about you. I am a reserved person, so I don't really like it that before you know it, everyone in the church knows about you (and words used to travel fast). It just felt like being in highschool, the people, the mentality, etc.

I do realize not everyone in church was like that and there are many churches out there. And I know we are all human and flawed. But back then, it did turn me away.

I urge you not to break away from church. It is in scripture that fellowship is very important. And the best way to build that support system in by being active and involved in a church ministry.

Though I am unchurched, I agree. That's why I have been thinking for some time now that maybe, I should now and then visit a church.

 

[Johnas]

Being a part of a church is NOT a requirement. You will get many whom will try to put/enforce their interpretation of scripture on you through their misguided legalism, but fear only the Lord and his word in your heart.

I have not belonged to any religious organizations since I was in my teens, and am now in my 40's. My relationship with the Lord has only become stronger, and more personal through this. Moreover, it has bred the sovereignty and freedom in my life that Christ demands... meaning "He truly is first in my life."

That said, you will naturally gravitate and form friendships and relationships with others whom do not attend a church yet love the Lord and are sovereign with him, and this will be sufficient to cover all the scriptures the spiritually immature will quote you in their attempt to impose some sort of legalism upon you.

Cheers, and welcome to real freedom and sovereignty in the Lord.

 

[abysmul]

Being a part of a church is NOT a requirement. You will get many whom will try to put/enforce their interpretation of scripture on you through their misguided legalism, but fear only the Lord and his word in your heart.

I have not belonged to any religious organizations since I was in my teens, and am now in my 40's. My relationship with the Lord has only become stronger, and more personal through this. Moreover, it has bred the sovereignty and freedom in my life that Christ demands... meaning "He truly is first in my life."

That said, you will naturally gravitate and form friendships and relationships with others whom do not attend a church yet love the Lord and are sovereign with him, and this will be sufficient to cover all the scriptures the spiritually immature will quote you in their attempt to impose some sort of legalism upon you.

Cheers, and welcome to real freedom and sovereignty in the Lord.

Well said, I've found this true for me.

 

[New_Wineskin]

Church definitely isn't a requirement, just the love and belief, and following the ways of Jesus.

Nicely put .

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

And what happens when you cannot go to church due to disability issues? I have severe social anxiety, and both my husband and I are on the Autism spectrum. We both get very overstimulated by light, sound, smell, even the closeness of other people. If they're in my personal space bubble (and it's greater than three feet) I will twitch out and end up on the floor and disrupt the service.

We are "unchurched" however my husband studied preaching at the local Christian university. He was one semester from graduating with the actual degree, the only reason he did not is because he couldn't get an internship. But is he qualified to lead a church? Absolutely. Even the college would vouch for him. So far it's been just the two of us, but we know a few other people with severe social issues that now that we have a nice enough place, we're going to open our house for worship. But it will still be very small.

The Lord says, "where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also." And I think that for some people, two or three is better than a church of five hundred, or even fifty. I grew up in a church of 25 and even that was too much for me.