how did you quit?

[cerette]

Please share how you managed to quit drugs. I have a family member who is an addict and has been in and out of rehab several times but always goes back to heavy drugs. We don't know what to do anymore. It's been going on for over 10 years now. Needless to say we are exhausted, heart broken, angry and everything in between.

 

[seasonofillusions]

Well I was polydrug user for about 5 years. It's more of a lifestyle when it's past the first year. It's hard to identify with nonusers, they look like the enemy. You have to go back to what you we're before you were a user even if it's childish. Remebering that there was a time when you didn't use is the first step. The second step is getting back to who that person was, and the most important is why you need to/want to. Peer pressure is the biggest driver of relapse, your loved one needs good peers. Best of luck.

 

[Okano]

A user must hit rock bottom before they decide to quit. Lose all relationships, lose everything they own. Lose sense of direction. Then it's a choice to continue with life or to die. Rock bottom theory.

 

[cerette]

Thanks for the replies! It's just beyond me really because according to my standards he has hit rock bottom a few times but still starts with drugs again.

 

[chilehed]

Everyone has a different bottom, and every one decides for themselves when they've gotten there. You don't have to lose everything, but then again some do and still haven't had enough.

When I got tired enough, I joined Narcotics Anonymous. That was almost 26 years ago, and I've been clean ever since. When I was ready, I became willing.

 

[RuthD]

You can hit rock bottom mentally, get a mental illness from using drugs. I used to take amphetamines many many years ago and I was addicted to them and then I took too much and it ruined my nervous system. I started having panic and anxiety when I took the drug. I had hit my rock bottom and quit taking them without rehab and it's been nealy 40 years.

 

[seasonofillusions]

You can hit rock bottom mentally, get a mental illness from using drugs. I used to take amphetamines many many years ago and I was addicted to them and then I took too much and it ruined my nervous system. I started having panic and anxiety when I took the drug. I had hit my rock bottom and quit taking them without rehab and it's been nealy 40 years.

That rings so true, when the panic attacks hit you know to go running back to safety. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I wish people would just love the mind they are born with.

 

[RuthD]

That rings so true, when the panic attacks hit you know to go running back to safety. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I wish people would just love the mind they are born with.

Yes but their environment and experienced often leads them to substance abuse, it's sort of the norm in this country unfortunately.

 

[audiologic]

It honestly depends. Is the person spiritually minded? Do they believe in God and having a purpose, hope, etc? What substances are they?

Honestly the way I quit was a bit...unorthodox. I'm not saying not to pray and ask for help, but the thing that did it for me was to, uh, STOP asking for help and realize that I had control over it. Does that mean I'm free of mistakes? Absolutely not. However, a lot of people get the idea that they're a slave to something - whether it's sin, a substance, whatever. This causes a tremendous amount of damage.

I quit crystal meth without going to rehab. They say that's next to impossible. I'm not saying that rehab is useless, but I am encouraging the power of self-control.

Keep in mind that it depends on the substance, too. Some drugs are PHYSICALLY addictive - opiates, for instance (heroin, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl, etc) - and those drugs are hard to deal with outside of detox. Most drugs, if possessing addictive properties, are hard to kick just because the brain wants it. However, if he/she has already been in rehab multiple times, detox and counseling may not be doing it for them.

My best suggestion is something you may not be able to do that much about - have the person realize that they ultimately have control of themselves, their outlook, their environment, and the results they get. It really helps.

Who knows, perhaps the more self empowering state of mind was an answer to the prayer.

 

[cerette]

It honestly depends. Is the person spiritually minded? Do they believe in God and having a purpose, hope, etc? What substances are they?

Honestly the way I quit was a bit...unorthodox. I'm not saying not to pray and ask for help, but the thing that did it for me was to, uh, STOP asking for help and realize that I had control over it. Does that mean I'm free of mistakes? Absolutely not. However, a lot of people get the idea that they're a slave to something - whether it's sin, a substance, whatever. This causes a tremendous amount of damage.

I quit crystal meth without going to rehab. They say that's next to impossible. I'm not saying that rehab is useless, but I am encouraging the power of self-control.

Keep in mind that it depends on the substance, too. Some drugs are PHYSICALLY addictive - opiates, for instance (heroin, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl, etc) - and those drugs are hard to deal with outside of detox. Most drugs, if possessing addictive properties, are hard to kick just because the brain wants it. However, if he/she has already been in rehab multiple times, detox and counseling may not be doing it for them.

My best suggestion is something you may not be able to do that much about - have the person realize that they ultimately have control of themselves, their outlook, their environment, and the results they get. It really helps.

Who knows, perhaps the more self empowering state of mind was an answer to the prayer.

Thanks for the reply!
I believe too that it comes down to self-discipline and control. I can not make someone else quit. He has been in and out of rehab many times over the years, just to start all over again the day he gets out.
He's doing heavy drugs and is a criminal to support the addiction. He was recently sent to prison for a year so I am thankful he will be off drugs for a while now. But I am willing to bet it will start all over again as soon as he gets out. (Has happened before)
I do pray for him but at this point I almost don't even know what to pray anymore. We have tried EVERYTHING and nothing works. He started taking drugs at a young age, he has a child whom he loves dearly but not even that is enough to make him quit. I feel desperate and I guess I have already given up,I don't think he will ever quit.
He believes there is a God and he believes the Bible is true, but he has never really studied the Bible and probably doesn't even know the basics of Christianity.. He believes in hell and it blows my mind that he lives the life he does knowing that hell is real and that's where he's headed if he doesn't repent.

 

[audiologic]

Thanks for the reply!
I believe too that it comes down to self-discipline and control. I can not make someone else quit. He has been in and out of rehab many times over the years, just to start all over again the day he gets out.
He's doing heavy drugs and is a criminal to support the addiction. He was recently sent to prison for a year so I am thankful he will be off drugs for a while now. But I am willing to bet it will start all over again as soon as he gets out. (Has happened before)
I do pray for him but at this point I almost don't even know what to pray anymore. We have tried EVERYTHING and nothing works. He started taking drugs at a young age, he has a child whom he loves dearly but not even that is enough to make him quit. I feel desperate and I guess I have already given up,I don't think he will ever quit.
He believes there is a God and he believes the Bible is true, but he has never really studied the Bible and probably doesn't even know the basics of Christianity.. He believes in hell and it blows my mind that he lives the life he does knowing that hell is real and that's where he's headed if he doesn't repent.

The very concepts of heaven and hell boil down to common sense. If you do believe in an afterlife - and he clearly does - even if you were to put it in simple terms, it's like with anything...do good stuff, good result. Do bad stuff, BAD result.

A lot of it is just part of the journey. It's painful to watch, but sometimes it's very necessary. You have to fall apart in order to be put back together again. It doesn't make it easier but it may inspire hope - knowing that it's necessary. Alot of times too, people need to hear something they've never heard before. I had always heard "God loves you and He will be your strength". My experience doesn't negate the validity, I had just misunderstood. It took someone that most of my friends said was "way out there" to give me the perspective I needed...he was harsh. He didn't sugar coat it. And the reason he told me to get up off my butt was because he knew that I was the one sitting down, waiting for God to pick me up, put me in a limousine, and rub my feet all the way to the final destination. He told me I had the power to change my situation, and when I finally realized it, I also realized that I had been holding a very distorted view of God all along - that He was a big band aid, and He was supposed to baby us and fix all of our problems without question.

In fact, the harsh reality is what has helped me the most. Love and compassion are important, but many times we forget TOUGH love. One thing that the Nihilists got right is that the world is a dark, cold, cruel struggle to survive. Unfortunately they went too far and claimed that because of that, there must be no spiritual reality, meaning, or purpose. But there is, even for those suffering in the depths of despair.

 

[cerette]

The very concepts of heaven and hell boil down to common sense. If you do believe in an afterlife - and he clearly does - even if you were to put it in simple terms, it's like with anything...do good stuff, good result. Do bad stuff, BAD result.

A lot of it is just part of the journey. It's painful to watch, but sometimes it's very necessary. You have to fall apart in order to be put back together again. It doesn't make it easier but it may inspire hope - knowing that it's necessary. Alot of times too, people need to hear something they've never heard before. I had always heard "God loves you and He will be your strength". My experience doesn't negate the validity, I had just misunderstood. It took someone that most of my friends said was "way out there" to give me the perspective I needed...he was harsh. He didn't sugar coat it. And the reason he told me to get up off my butt was because he knew that I was the one sitting down, waiting for God to pick me up, put me in a limousine, and rub my feet all the way to the final destination. He told me I had the power to change my situation, and when I finally realized it, I also realized that I had been holding a very distorted view of God all along - that He was a big band aid, and He was supposed to baby us and fix all of our problems without question.

In fact, the harsh reality is what has helped me the most. Love and compassion are important, but many times we forget TOUGH love. One thing that the Nihilists got right is that the world is a dark, cold, cruel struggle to survive. Unfortunately they went too far and claimed that because of that, there must be no spiritual reality, meaning, or purpose. But there is, even for those suffering in the depths of despair.

I think you have a good point in him needing to hear things he hasn't heard before..not that he hasn't heard it before but it's like some of us try tough love and then the softer enablers in the family step in and ruin what we've tried to do..know what I mean? I've been a softie myself and an enabler (all because I love the person!) but after many years learned that it didn't do anyone any good, and I now use tough love (that too because I love the person!).

 

[audiologic]

Exactly...one thing that turned me around is my brother.

He wrote me a message stating "Look, if you don't start respecting your mother and father, I won't even consider you my brother. I will consider you some little punk who wormed his way into the family." While I'm certainly not advising something THAT harsh, it IS what made me realize the severity of the situation.

A lot of people tend to focus on God's soft attributes to avoid a sort of "hellfire and brimstone" approach. I agree with that on some things, but He's also definitely got a no-nonsense attitude. Acknowledge their struggle, but don't excuse it, or they will.

Responsibility.

Good luck.

 

[cerette]

Thanks. I will have to find some renewed strength and let him hear a thing or two when I get a chance to talk to him. I will not visit him in prison.

 

[Logan Musil]

Heard great things about the settingcaptivesfree website ministry.
Blessings,
Logan

 

[redcake]

Hi, I feel your pain. I honestly don't know what to say. You can't help someone if they don't want help.

 

[cerette]

Thanks for the replies. I haven't checked this thread for a while. Unfortunately things are still the same. My latest "tough" approach is that I have not spoken to him in a very long time, he does not have my (new) contact info etc. But I did send him a Christmas card saying I care for him and hope he will get his life together soon.
I still hurt so very very very much because of this. I just want him to quit.

 

[twilson24]

First of all, I'm sure you know that this is no short process. It took me two times in jail, along with lots of self-inflicted pain for me to understand things had to stop. The truth is, in order for an addict to recover they have to hit rock bottom and understand that the "high" life is really not all that great. I realized that when six months of my freedom was threatened by being told I was going to live in a recovery home. I almost died twice. And I lost everything. You can't change the one who's hurting you. You just have to let them hit rock bottom.

 

[cerette]

First of all, I'm sure you know that this is no short process. It took me two times in jail, along with lots of self-inflicted pain for me to understand things had to stop. The truth is, in order for an addict to recover they have to hit rock bottom and understand that the "high" life is really not all that great. I realized that when six months of my freedom was threatened by being told I was going to live in a recovery home. I almost died twice. And I lost everything. You can't change the one who's hurting you. You just have to let them hit rock bottom.

Thanks for the reply. I fear though that my relative is a lost case. He has hit rock bottom numerous times, but always goes back to his old ways after he has recovered enough. It's been going on over a decade now.

 

[dabro]

My Abba daddy gave me the peace joy and wit's to say no.....