Does bipolar affect your ability to think rationally?

[romen33]

It seems that for the past 6 years since I was diagnosed bipolar my ability to think rationally has diminished more and more. I know a person who is also bipolar and he doesn't have this problem. People get upset with me constantly, some say I lack common sense and it irritates them. I do or say things that make perfect sense to me and later found out that it was the wrong thing to say or do then people get upset with me. I have told my Psychiatrist this and he says nothing can be done. He tried changing my meds until it got a little better and decided to settle with the current results he doesn't think it will get any better. My hands also shake when I try to do things that require a lot of dexterity, my co-worker saw this and told me it might be a sign of early Parkinsons disease. Worried I went to see my doctor and he believes its due to the meds and nothing can be done but if it gets worse he'll run some tests. Does anyone else go through this and if so what else do you suggest can be done?
Oh one more thing I had a seizure caused by antidepressant just prior to being diagnosed bipolar, could it be I suffer brain damage? They did a catscan back then and said everything looked ok at the time but I first noticed it shortly after that.

 

[trustinhim83]

I do or say things that make perfect sense to me and later found out that it was the wrong thing to say or do then people get upset with me.

Yes, happens to me a lot too. I am really good at offending people. I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore. What also happens to me a lot is that I get very upset over things, or mad about things based on the way I have read the situation (or misread). Know one ever seems to understand me though. As if there is no rational at all in why I am that agitated about something. When it is clear to me why. I then go and ruminate on it for days as if that helps either. I cannot seem to control my head though. Have tried the whole "mindfulness" stuff that my therapist told me to try, and I can't seem to focus enough to do it.

Also, my dad is Bipolar, but doesn't take any meds. He does quite a lot of what you have described above. He constantly says that very thing he just shouldn't have said. Making situations very awkward and uncomfortable at times. In fact, I know that if I tell him NOT to say or bring up a certain thing then he most certainly will, because he just got it in his head and cannot help himself. It was often embarrassing for me growing up. Any time you try to tell him what he did was wrong he gets really mad, and defensive.

So I try to be careful about this too, but sometimes you really just can't help it I guess. Because the way you see things is different from others. I've just tried to accept this about myself, and not beat myself up over it. However, I find that other people who are Bipolar DO often understand!

 

[AnthonyMichaelPraisesGod]

i really feel for you... my whole life i seem to have my own world that nobody else is a part of... when i got saved i felt amazing and healed and wonderful and well and then a few wrong steps and i am scaring everybody more than ever. i seem to get a thought wormed into my head and then before i know it it is some full-blown range of craziness and nobody else seems to understand... it is really frustrating when everyone around you thinks that you are crazy or just not competent when your own thought processes seem entirely adequate.... thank God for Jesus... everyone seems to think that i have lost touch with reality and i had a really good point to make but i have forgotten it..... so sorry for rambling... it is just really comforting to know that there are other believers that are afflicted out there... i ask for clarity and strength for you in the name of our Lord <3

 

[AnthonyMichaelPraisesGod]

Yes, happens to me a lot too. I am really good at offending people. I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore. What also happens to me a lot is that I get very upset over things, or mad about things based on the way I have read the situation (or misread). Know one ever seems to understand me though. As if there is no rational at all in why I am that agitated about something. When it is clear to me why.

i have been speaking about things purely intellectually before and dont realize that people have an emotional attachment to the subject. i have gotten a lot better with that though, praise God, mostly because i am distracted... but yes, i find that i want everything to be perfect and if it can't be then there is no point and i get very frustrated with myself and others... the Lord has really helped me be less paranoid that i have missed a turn or exit while driving and to be more patient to reach my destination... again, sorry to ramble, i just feel very comforted by all of this... it has been a rough couple of months....

 

[Loven God]

People do not understand me eaither , the way I think and the things do not make much since to them , so they look at me as if I am crazy and do to have all my thinking process there . I know it is from the bipolar but there is nothing I can do about it . Some of it is from the meds but it is an exchange I have to make to be better . A lot of times I aviode people so I do not have to deal with it , so I am a person that keeps to myself a lot . When I do have to be around people and have to speak it makes me real nerves .

 

[romen33]

My whole life it seems that no matter what I did I just didn't fit in. People made fun of me and my parents were always upset at me for some unknown reason, I guess I was saying of doing the wrong things even then. I grew up with the thought that not even my own parents wanted me around. I didn't know why. I wasn't properly diagnosed until my early 30's. All those years suffering I wonder if I had received treatment as a child instead of punishment would I be a better person today. I just don't understand why God made me in such a way. I try to have faith and believe he loves me.

 

[Loven God]

romen33 , there is no mistake God does love you . I do know that if there is one good thing with my bipolar it is that it has keept me closer to God . I lean on Him more then ever now . God is my strength and that is what gets me through this even on my darkest days .
When I found out I was bipolar I lost a lot of my friens , I guess they were never my friends any way because friends stick by your side , they did not . Well i have learned to live with less friend and have found a few more new friends .

 

[romen33]

I know God loves me but when I get down I have a harder time believing it. Been depressed for 3 days and I think now I'm starting to come back up from it. Thanks. That person getting upset with me really got me down because I can't understand why they got upset and since this happens so often I started feeling guilty and depressed and my mood just went downhill.

 

[Loven God]

I have been in a depression for 2 months , still trying to work my way out . Am on Lexapro for it , not working may need to be uped . One thing you can do is make a list of your trigers and write them down it will help you to learn what they are and you can start on way to avoid them . I triger would be any thing that would cause to to become depressed or manic .

 

[romen33]

A list is a good idea, years ago I made one but who knows where it went to. Anyway its usually people things they say or do. Or something that goes wrong or both. I have a lot of hurtful bad memories that tend to come back to haunt me as well. I try to focus on happy thoughts and pray a lot, as well as read bible or a good book to get my mind off the sad thoughts. It doesn't always work.

 

[Loven God]

Thing that we do to help our moods do not always work . That is were we need friends to talk to at times . Do you have anyone at all you can talk to ? A good support team is a good thing to have . I can share anything with my husband and I have my thripest and the Pastor of my church and his wife .
I tried support groups but none of them were a good fit for me . I use to lead a support group at a church but I am going to a diffrent church now , if there comes a need for a group I will start one there . Have you tried any support groups ?
Having some one to talk to that you know and they know you helps a lot . Just make sure what ever you tell them you can trust them .

 

[romen33]

My life is complicated by the fact that I work graveyard so finding a support group I can meet with has not been possible. I have no real friends I can get together with just facebook friends. My last real friend seems to be still upset with me about my bipolar I'm still trying to work out things with him. After behind disfellowshipped from my last church for something I did during a manic episode I no longer feel I should be a part of any church because as they told me its a "disruption to the ministry"

 

[Loven God]

I am so sorry that your church feels that way , you can worship God from home . God will meet with us any where .Facebook friends can be good , I have a lot of facebook friend and some are bipolar so we support one another .Support can come for many places .

 

[romen33]

Thank you, for your reply. I worship at home and read the bible or books on religion. It helps but I do miss fellowship. Don't want to talk about bipolar on facebook because too many people can read it and might make matters worse.

 

[Loven God]

I only talk to my friends on facebook that are bipolar on chat that way it is just them and me .

 

[Neela]

Hi Romen33,

I find that i can't think rationally too - I think it it is part of the Bipolar disorder. I get these ideas that make perfect sense to me like I'm gonna leave home and move to another country on my own, or i am going to become a brain surgeon or something equally as irrational. At the time of these thoughts i really believe they are possible and i start researching in to them etc. I get very excited and charged about the idea.

Anyway i just wanted you to know that you are not alone
If you need to talk you can always pm me
N

 

[romen33]

I just find it hard because people don't seem to understand no matter how much I try and explain it to them, they just become more critical and upset.
In my old church I found that I got little or no support, they were very hard line and would tell me I was in sin and just needed to repent, they would even quote scriptures to me and tell me that I was hurting God with my sin. I found no love there unfortunately, I expected christians should love one another. They would say that they did those things out of love to help you see your sin and repent but it just made me feel worse. They taught that they were the only true church and all others were false so by casting me out that means I'm going to hell according to their teaching. So according to them even IF I go to another church I'm going to hell. I started going to that church when I was very young and impressionable and was there many years so my minds finds it very hard to shake or deny that what I was taught there is not true.

 

[Loven God]

I went to a church for 22 years and had to leave because of my bipolar was very hard on me , well since then I have found a church that excepts me just the way I am bipolar and all it has been such a blessing .
To make people understand is all most impossible . Most of them don't want to understand they all ready have their minds made up what bipolar people are like and they don't want to hear the truth . I can't make my own mother understand so I just gave up on it and I do not tell her anything about my bipolar . I did not even tell her the last time I was in the hospital because she would only upset me .
Don't give up there are still some people out there that do care and want to know about bipolar . As you get to know more people you will know the ones you can tell and the ones you can't .
I am so sorry your church was so unkind to you . I fell as christaians they should be more lovening even if they don't understand .

 

[romen33]

Thank you you are right, I pray every day that God will help me find a good church for me and my family. Someday hopefully soon I will. I need a church that meets early in the morning so I can go after I get off work on graveyard. Many meet around 11 am and by then my meds have kicked in and I fall asleep. I find that if I stay up past 11 am without taking meds sometimes I start going manic so my doctor has me take my meds as soon as I get home. It otherwise works very well so I sleep during the day and work at night. Night work is low stress and things are very quiet and peaceful which helps my bipolar a lot. I feel God blessed me with this job and he prayerfully will lead me to the right church too. Some of my coworkers go to their church after they get off work but they comute from other cities about an hour away. I live close to work which lessens the stress of having to deal with traffic too.

 

[Loven God]

I wish I was able to work but can not handle it right now , so for now i am trying to do things to keep me busy . Some day I just can not seem to nothing at all . I got fired from my last job because of my bipolar . have not worked since then . You are blessed that you are able to work and as for a church i am sure when the time is right God will find one for you . For right now take peace in knowing that your worship at home is meaning just as much to God as if you were in church .