Wives submitting to their husbands judgement made in love

[ready4rapturenow]

I personally don't let my wife out of the house... she gets 2 bathroom breaks a day and the rest of the time is spent cleaning or cooking. Period. Occasionally if she's well-behaved I might let her massage my feet when I get home from work.

Om My....Are you still married?????? needed that comic relief...thanks!

 

[ready4rapturenow]

Sounds like you agree with what I and several others have been saying?

yep! I can understand the divorce rate now.....

 

[ready4rapturenow]

There is plenty to thank God for, but what specifically are you thanking God for within this thread.

Sorry, was thanking God for the responses similar to yours....first time I have actually responded to anything and wasn't quite sure how this worked. Actually , I am still not that sure.

 

[JRSut1000]

I'm so tired of this topic. I've beat it like a dead horse over in the marriage section, but not allowed to really do that in the general marriage section anymore (new rules). I dont think its THAT hard to see the comparison of Jesus and His bride and a husband and wife. I'm pretty sure Jesus being the head means He's in charge. No, He doesnt go against our free-will, but He does have authority and His bride's love means she will submit to Him. How hard is this?

And as a note, a pastor doenst have responsibility for his congregations salvation. A husband doesnt have responsibility for his wife's salvation. BUT both do have God given responsibility to do their best to lead in truth and love and example.

 

[seeingeyes]

There are many scriptures that say the husband is responsible for his wife, he is her head (Ephesians 5:23), he is to love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:28-31), he is to be considerate, tender and kind to her (Colossians 3:19), he is to honor her (1 Peter 3:7), be gentle (Ephesians 4:32), manage his own household (1Timothy 3:4-5).

But it is the scripture that shows him to be the head, the authority over her (Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:23) that encompasses his duties as her spiritual authority as his pastor is his spiritual authority.

That is the Biblical structure of marriage. The pastor is also the spiritual authority over the wife, but her first line authority is her husband and the husband's authority is his pastor.

It is much like an office where there is a branch chief under a director. A supervisor will answer the the branch chief and he answers to the director. The supervisor answers to the branch chief and the director, but answers to the branch chief first.

It is a big responsibility for a man, but that is the role God gave men. Unfortunately, many do not live up to that. In fact, many reject it, reject the scripture. It is sad.

The husband is responsible and it is his duty, given to him by God. That does not mean that a man will do what he is supposed to. It does not mean that he will fulfill the role God has given him.

Maybe it is clearer to say he is responsible for his wife the way a pastor is responsible for his congregation. The husband's pastor is his spiritual authority.

But many men do not fulfill the role given to them by God. That is what happens in marriages that are unequally yoked.

Then the wife is responsible for praying for her husband and setting a Godly example for her husband. The scripture says that through what she does her husband might be saved.

What is described in scripture, what I explained above is the, for lack of a better term, "ideal" Godly marriage. Sadly, many, many marriages do not hit the mark.

So where does that leave women? Under the headship of Christ.

...I'm not understanding how that is unfortunate, though...

It is unfortunate that so many people reject scripture and reject God's plan, particularly His plan for marriage.

When the man will not fulfill his role, then the woman is under the authority of her pastor.

I really don't understand how this works at all.

You are saying that the husband is the head of the wife - unless he isn't "doing it right" (according to who exactly?) And when he isn't "doing it right" he forfeits his God-given headship to his wife's pastor. Which pastor? The pastor she grew up with? Whatever pastor she chooses? At what point does the pastor overtake the husband's headship? What if her husband moved her out to some no-man's land and now she has no pastor? Should she leave her husband?

At what point is a woman actually allowed to follow Jesus' command to the crowds?: “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Matthew 23)

At what point can she believe Jesus who said: "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd." (John 10)

How far up the chain of command does a woman have to go to actually get to her only Mediator? How many fallible men does she have to crawl out from under until the Light can shine on her?

 

[TheDag]

Boring? You do realize the bible says wives are to be submissive right? Sounds like you are letting the world tell you its views are right over Gods views.

So how do you submit to her then out of curiosity?

 

[TheDag]

I'm so tired of this topic. I've beat it like a dead horse over in the marriage section, but not allowed to really do that in the general marriage section anymore (new rules). I dont think its THAT hard to see the comparison of Jesus and His bride and a husband and wife. I'm pretty sure Jesus being the head means He's in charge. No, He doesnt go against our free-will, but He does have authority and His bride's love means she will submit to Him. How hard is this?

Well it is hard because nobody likes being a servant. How did Jesus lead? He became last. he washed his disciples feet which in those days was not a glorious job. If there was a servant in the house it would have been their job. So if men are to be like Jesus they are to be like servants to their wives. men are to become last. That is the biblical model of leadership. They are to humble themselves.

 

[JRSut1000]

Yes, but even in humility they are still the leaders. Obviously He gets glory and the bride gets blessing, marriage is a win-win relationship for sure! (ideally) The man provides for and protects and blesses his wife, and the wife submits to his leadership and godly authority. No room for pride on either end really.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

So how do you submit to her then out of curiosity?

Well my answed is I do and I don't. ^.^

Honestly the whole subject is confusing. I treat my fiance as an equal. I never tell her "You can't do this" or "You MUST do that!". Now if she ever said something like "I want to switch churches because so-and-so is mean, then I'd use my position in the family to tell her no. Of course the reallity is I am to dang nice. SO odds are I would never do that to her.

My old pastor brought up a good point. Its not about a man "controlling a woman", its about a man leading his family. Because if neither person leads then thats when problems occur since both people can up up doing diffrent things. Such as when the man goes to one church and the woman goes to another. THats not leading your family. In that case you might as well not be married if your living individual lives.

Thats my biggest problem with this subject. People are to mixed on the subject. Its why I dislike men that literally control their wives. Its not what the bible means by being head of the house. Think of a marriage, men are looked at as protecters. You would protect your wife with your life (or at least men should be doing this).

That is for sake of argument how to look at this submissive thing. Its not your controling her, its in situations where you feel something bad can happen you protect her.

Sadly because the world drills people with equality, they don't understand how a wife can be submissive and yet still be an equal. If it wasn't for the world messing with peoples head this would make sense to many. A husband and wife are one flesh, bond mates of each other, servants...etc. We would together for the good of God. But Gods still says men should lead the family. You should never lead your family astray.

The man provides for and protects and blesses his wife, and the wife submits to his leadership and godly authority. No room for pride on either end really.

Exactly! A man does not use his wifes submission to get his way because thats not what it meanss nor is that what it is there for. We are to lead our family.

If you have a thousand people (all just civilians) on a small island and lets say theres a hurrican coming. Without any leader ship every one fights over what to do. Some people would hide, others would pillage, some would still stand there fightings, while others would split off into seperate groups. In short its chaos. But, theres usually one person in a crowd that will stand out and become the "leader". THis person can lead them all to saftey with his leadership skills. He can get them to work together and unite.

This is how marriage is. If you splinter off and do your own things without anyone being a leader you will eventually cause the marriage to collapse. You can't be on the same team if your each doing your won thing. Actually reminds me of a saying "Married couples would be much happier if when they fought they would realize they are on the same side!".

 

[JRSut1000]

That was a really good explanation and it sounds very balanced.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Well my answed is I do and I don't. ^.^

Honestly the whole subject is confusing. I treat my fiance as an equal. I never tell her "You can't do this" or "You MUST do that!". Now if she ever said something like "I want to switch churches because so-and-so is mean, then I'd use my position in the family to tell her no. Of course the reallity is I am to dang nice. SO odds are I would never do that to her.

My old pastor brought up a good point. Its not about a man "controlling a woman", its about a man leading his family. Because if neither person leads then thats when problems occur since both people can up up doing diffrent things. Such as when the man goes to one church and the woman goes to another. THats not leading your family. In that case you might as well not be married if your living individual lives.

Thats my biggest problem with this subject. People are to mixed on the subject. Its why I dislike men that literally control their wives. Its not what the bible means by being head of the house. Think of a marriage, men are looked at as protecters. You would protect your wife with your life (or at least men should be doing this).

That is for sake of argument how to look at this submissive thing. Its not your controling her, its in situations where you feel something bad can happen you protect her.

Sadly because the world drills people with equality, they don't understand how a wife can be submissive and yet still be an equal. If it wasn't for the world messing with peoples head this would make sense to many. A husband and wife are one flesh, bond mates of each other, servants...etc. We would together for the good of God. But Gods still says men should lead the family. You should never lead your family astray.


Exactly! A man does not use his wifes submission to get his way because thats not what it meanss nor is that what it is there for. We are to lead our family.

If you have a thousand people (all just civilians) on a small island and lets say theres a hurrican coming. Without any leader ship every one fights over what to do. Some people would hide, others would pillage, some would still stand there fightings, while others would split off into seperate groups. In short its chaos. But, theres usually one person in a crowd that will stand out and become the "leader". THis person can lead them all to saftey with his leadership skills. He can get them to work together and unite.

This is how marriage is. If you splinter off and do your own things without anyone being a leader you will eventually cause the marriage to collapse. You can't be on the same team if your each doing your won thing. Actually reminds me of a saying "Married couples would be much happier if when they fought they would realize they are on the same side!".

But is it ever her job to protect you? Like if you wanted to do something that she knows will hurt you, can she find a way to stop you, all in the name of protecting you? I am not saying this to be argumentative. I am bringing this up because it's a very common reality.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

But is it ever her job to protect you? Like if you wanted to do something that she knows will hurt you, can she find a way to stop you, all in the name of protecting you? I am not saying this to be argumentative. I am bringing this up because it's a very common reality.

Honestly the bible does not mention it and yes I often wonder that too. I would pray my wife would try to protect me to. Althogh while I can't recall it off hand there is something in the bible about if your husband is not leading the house like he should, you have the right to step up to fix it.

Example my dad prefers to stick his head in the sand and let our family get stepped on by many. So my mom has stepped up and is trying to fix things since my dad essentially is leading us astray.

So you can say in that sense the bible does allow the wife to step up to and protect her husband. And actually come to think of it the bible does say things like (not a exact quote) "Better a husband lay down his life for his wife then let her die!". Even though its talking about the husband the bibile overall teaches about helping others and saving others...etc. So really I believe (just my view) that men and women are equal when it comes to protecting each other, although men are supposed to go the furthest step to protect since we are the heads. So the only real "control" of any sort is the headship thing. If the man feels what the wife is doing is wrong and hes prayed about it and made 100% sure hes right, then he can say something to her.

This topic just borders on being in a grey area that in to some dergee unanswerable. But in the end its not liek we will end up in hell for not understanding it. For now I love my fiance with my whole heart she love same. We would protect each other, comfort each other and so on. Thats what matters the most to us.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Honestly the bible does not mention it and yes I often wonder that too. I would pray my wife would try to protect me to. Althogh while I can't recall it off hand there is something in the bible about if your husband is not leading the house like he should, you have the right to step up to fix it.

Example my dad prefers to stick his head in the sand and let our family get stepped on by many. So my mom has stepped up and is trying to fix things since my dad essentially is leading us astray.

So you can say in that sense the bible does allow the wife to step up to and protect her husband. And actually come to think of it the bible does say things like (not a exact quote) "Better a husband lay down his life for his wife then let her die!". Even though its talking about the husband the bibile overall teaches about helping others and saving others...etc. So really I believe (just my view) that men and women are equal when it comes to protecting each other, although men are supposed to go the furthest step to protect since we are the heads. So the only real "control" of any sort is the headship thing. If the man feels what the wife is doing is wrong and hes prayed about it and made 100% sure hes right, then he can say something to her.

This topic just borders on being in a grey area that in to some dergee unanswerable. But in the end its not liek we will end up in hell for not understanding it. For now I love my fiance with my whole heart she love same. We would protect each other, comfort each other and so on. Thats what matters the most to us.

Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate that. This is one of the main reasons that many women have gotten hurt with strict one way submission mindsets.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate that. This is one of the main reasons that many women have gotten hurt with strict one way submission mindsets.

Agreed. I've met many women who basically are their husbands slaves and get so used to it they don't realize its gone from being submissive to being his "thing" to control. And only a few divorce and then never marry anyone else again. Its so sad.

 

[dollarsbill]

If we fulfill our obligations to God then He will fulfill His obligation to keep His promise to save our family.

 

[AmbryRye]

My old pastor brought up a good point. Its not about a man "controlling a woman", its about a man leading his family.

And that, my friend, is what most of these people (and most people in general) just don't get.

 

[Naomanos]

And that, my friend, is what most of these people (and most people in general) just don't get.

I get leadership, but leadership only goes so far.

If I tell my wife that something isn't a good idea to go to, and she still decides to go I am going to let her. I did my leadership duty in informing her that I don't think it's a good idea that she go to where it is she is wanting to go. She is an adult women and she is able to full make her own mind up on whether she should go someplace or not after I have said it's not a good idea.

 

[TheDag]

Well my answed is I do and I don't. ^.^

well the only way this answer is acceptable is if the reason you don't is you fail to follow the bible's instructions sometimes because you are human and aren't perfect. The bible instructs husbands to submit to their wife.

 

[TheDag]

I get leadership, but leadership only goes so far.

If I tell my wife that something isn't a good idea to go to, and she still decides to go I am going to let her. I did my leadership duty in informing her that I don't think it's a good idea that she go to where it is she is wanting to go. She is an adult women and she is able to full make her own mind up on whether she should go someplace or not after I have said it's not a good idea.

Perhaps i should say and that my friend is that is what most of these people (and most people in general) just don't get!

 

[AmbryRye]

I get leadership, but leadership only goes so far.

If I tell my wife that something isn't a good idea to go to, and she still decides to go I am going to let her. I did my leadership duty in informing her that I don't think it's a good idea that she go to where it is she is wanting to go. She is an adult women and she is able to full make her own mind up on whether she should go someplace or not after I have said it's not a good idea.

You are right, ultimately she can do what she pleases.

But then she would be in rebellion and in direct defiance of the advisement of her God appointed authority (her husband).

She will be disobeying God by disregarding her husband's guidance.

That is what a lot of people don't understand, they are too caught in, "I will do whatever I want" and don't stop to realize that they are in rebellion.

But a Godly wife will submit to her husband and will respect his authority and guidance.

The people being described as doing what they want and defying their husbands and God, who are described disrespecting their husband's authority are not Godly wives. There is a difference. It is like comparing apples to oranges.