Wives submitting to their husbands judgement made in love

[AmbryRye]

According to...

The Bible

1 Timothy 3:1
1 Timothy 5:17

The pastor "rules" over the church. He is the shepherd, the congregation is the flock.

But the structure seen through the scripture posted earlier puts the woman under the "rule" of the man. The man is under the "rule" of the pastor.

They all still answer to God. This is the structure on earth, though. This is the structure that God created.

 

[AmbryRye]

Thing is though that none of those Scriptures state that the husband is responsible for the wife's salvation.

As stated before, each person is to work out.their own salvation.

It says he will "rule" over her. He is her "head."
That means that he is responsible for her the same way that the pastor is responsible for his congregation.

 

[Naomanos]

It says he will "rule" over her. He is her "head."
That means that he is responsible for her the same way that the pastor is responsible for his congregation.

I really do not think that's s what it means at all, especially with the scripture that states that we are each responsible for our own salvation.

As for the husband ruling over the wife I believe that is what husbands are going to want to do in the marriage, not the way it's supposed to be.

I have no desire to rule over my wife. Never had a want or need of that kind of power.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Well that is the problem, we are taught to be nice, loving, honest and avoid things like power. Yet the bible tells us to some degree to have some power over our wives. I think it makes people unsure what to do or makes them feel like they are somehow a master over their wife.

I've felt that way before. But I realized it doens't mean litearlly you control her. It means more that you are the head of the house and you need to take care of your family and make decisions. Example when I sent my fiance some money she emailed me to make sure it was alright she gave 10% of it to her church.

I told her it was fine with me. She then said thanks and also said she asked because even though we are not married yet, she wanted my permission as head of the house...as her other half. I told her I appreciated that alot even though I still felt a bit odd telking her what to do. Now though I've come to be more comfortable and accept my role.

I never use anything to control her though. She knows I trust her and she knows if she wants to I am always here if she has questions to ask me! She even gave me access to her emails, facebook and bank account weeks into meeting her because again I was her future husband and she wanted to show me shes a trustworthy, loving Proverbs 31 woman. And honestly I feel so blessed because I truly do trust her and love with all my heart.

I think if anything if God forbid we stopped beign together, I'd have a hard time finding another woman to be with since most (at least in the USA) don't seem to like the idea of being submissive. I thank feminism for that btw.

 

[Trogool]

Well that is the problem, we are taught to be nice, loving, honest and avoid things like power. Yet the bible tells us to some degree to have some power over our wives. I think it makes people unsure what to do or makes them feel like they are somehow a master over their wife.

I've felt that way before. But I realized it doens't mean litearlly you control her. It means more that you are the head of the house and you need to take care of your family and make decisions. Example when I sent my fiance some money she emailed me to make sure it was alright she gave 10% of it to her church.

I told her it was fine with me. She then said thanks and also said she asked because even though we are not married yet, she wanted my permission as head of the house...as her other half. I told her I appreciated that alot even though I still felt a bit odd telking her what to do. Now though I've come to be more comfortable and accept my role.

I never use anything to control her though. She knows I trust her and she knows if she wants to I am always here if she has questions to ask me! She even gave me access to her emails, facebook and bank account weeks into meeting her because again I was her future husband and she wanted to show me shes a trustworthy, loving Proverbs 31 woman. And honestly I feel so blessed because I truly do trust her and love with all my heart.

I think if anything if God forbid we stopped beign together, I'd have a hard time finding another woman to be with since most (at least in the USA) don't seem to like the idea of being submissive. I thank feminism for that btw.

Good for you. Personally, I think that sounds utterly boring. I'd much rather be in a relationship with a woman who can be my equal, not one who is just going to be submissive and give me access to all her personal information and accounts as a matter of course.

 

[Naomanos]

Well that is the problem, we are taught to be nice, loving, honest and avoid things like power. Yet the bible tells us to some degree to have some power over our wives. I think it makes people unsure what to do or makes them feel like they are somehow a master over their wife.

I've felt that way before. But I realized it doens't mean litearlly you control her. It means more that you are the head of the house and you need to take care of your family and make decisions. Example when I sent my fiance some money she emailed me to make sure it was alright she gave 10% of it to her church.

I told her it was fine with me. She then said thanks and also said she asked because even though we are not married yet, she wanted my permission as head of the house...as her other half. I told her I appreciated that alot even though I still felt a bit odd telking her what to do. Now though I've come to be more comfortable and accept my role.

I never use anything to control her though. She knows I trust her and she knows if she wants to I am always here if she has questions to ask me! She even gave me access to her emails, facebook and bank account weeks into meeting her because again I was her future husband and she wanted to show me shes a trustworthy, loving Proverbs 31 woman. And honestly I feel so blessed because I truly do trust her and love with all my heart.

I think if anything if God forbid we stopped beign together, I'd have a hard time finding another woman to be with since most (at least in the USA) don't seem to like the idea of being submissive. I thank feminism for that btw.

I was never taught not to seek power, I'm naturally non-power seeking. I simply have no desire for power over another human being.

Just as I care more about being loved than I do about respect, especially from my wife.

 

[TheDag]

I never use anything to control her though. She knows I trust her and she knows if she wants to I am always here if she has questions to ask me! She even gave me access to her emails, facebook and bank account weeks into meeting her because again I was her future husband and she wanted to show me shes a trustworthy, loving Proverbs 31 woman. And honestly I feel so blessed because I truly do trust her and love with all my heart.

here is an interesting question for you. have you ever accessed her facebook or email? if so then you don't trust her at all and that would be a bad thing. trust needs to go both ways. make sure you understand her culture. Comments you have made suggest you don't and that could cause problems. So be careful there.

My wife once asked me what i was doing when I was searching for a website. She very quickly said after "Actually nevermind I trust you". The fact that she asked hurt. Changing her mind was notwhat was there. I can understand that she saw what I was typing and could arrive at the conclusion that I was searchingfor porn even though i wasn't. Her askingme was not trusting me. Especially when that has not been an issue for me which she knew.

 

[TheDag]

It says he will "rule" over her. He is her "head."
That means that he is responsible for her the same way that the pastor is responsible for his congregation.

However that is not salvation. So as I suggested before perhaps you are not usingthe appropiate word for the situation.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

here is an interesting question for you. have you ever accessed her facebook or email? if so then you don't trust her at all and that would be a bad thing. trust needs to go both ways. make sure you understand her culture. Comments you have made suggest you don't and that could cause problems. So be careful there.

Well theres a diffrence between being trusting and being nieve. I've met far to many christians who "trust" their other half only to find out years later they have been lying about a number of things. It doesn't mean always be suspicious either, I use to never trust women from many bad expireiences where women lied to me. But now I have gotten better about it.

After my seizure and brain injury at 16 I got mad because people were so beyond cruel to me. People used me, abused me...etc. I even got mad at God. So I was very pessimistic and untrusting. Obviously I grew out of that stage and became a better christian after a sister in the Lord helped me alot. Now sometimes people complain I am to "Happy", as if one can be to happy lol.

And yes at first I did check out her facebook. Mind you I am talking to a woman from the Phillipines. I had to make sure she was real. Scamming is so common with filipino women. Not to mention she told me she wanted me to check out everything to show she was not a scammer.

Because of that I did look but quickly seen she was truthful and since then have trusted her 100%! The only time I access her stuff now is if she needs me to fix something...etc. Like for example she asks that if I could weeky filter her emails since most are spam in her inbox. So I do so. I have no reason not to trust her anymore. It also helped that I talked to her whoe family and friends who were very honest.

To be fair I did offer her my passwords but she refused because she said its not her place to ask for them. Which I obviously felt otherwise and wanted to give them to her anyways. But she insisted she did not want them. I told her I wanted to get rid of hers but she said (as stated above) for me to keep them to maintain her stuff.

Good for you. Personally, I think that sounds utterly boring. I'd much rather be in a relationship with a woman who can be my equal, not one who is just going to be submissive and give me access to all her personal information and accounts as a matter of course.

Boring? You do realize the bible says wives are to be submissive right? Sounds like you are letting the world tell you its views are right over Gods views.

And not to mention you didn't read my post entirly if you assume we are not equals. We are equals. Shes the one that insists on being submissive. The only reason I don't refuse her submissiveness is because I am not going to against the bible. Although sometimes I do tell her things like "You don't have to seek me for answers dear, you are a an adult woman and this is a relationship, your not my slave!".

She has gotten better about it and only really asks me things when it comes to christian related things.

 

[Itagaki]

Wow, if I ever needed marital advice (which I don't and wouldn't anyway), remind me where NOT to go! Good Lord...

 

[Naomanos]

Wow, if I ever needed marital advice (which I don't and wouldn't anyway), remind me where NOT to go! Good Lord...

Who's advice are you not liking?

 

[Itagaki]

Who's advice are you not liking?

The "advice" (I use the term loosely) that says women are just slaves to be controlled.

I'm not sure what century you bros are living in, but it's clearly not 2012 wherever you guys happen to find yourselves.

 

[Naomanos]

The "advice" (I use the term loosely) that says women are just slaves to be controlled.

I'm not sure what century you bros are living in, but it's clearly not 2012 wherever you guys happen to find yourselves.

Good thing I don't feel as you described.

 

[katautumn]

Kat, maybe you should post your testimony here?

Sure thing! I will put a link to my blog entry about it, since it's really long.

"How Submission Books Nearly Ruined My Marriage"

 

[Romanseight2005]

Sure thing! I will put a link to my blog entry about it, since it's really long.

"How Submission Books Nearly Ruined My Marriage"

 

[ready4rapturenow]

Thank God!

 

[ready4rapturenow]

Amen!

 

[Naomanos]

Thank God!

There is plenty to thank God for, but what specifically are you thanking God for within this thread.

 

[ready4rapturenow]

That is your view and one that I do not hold.

I will say it yet again. My wife is an adult and if she decides to go somewhere even though I have said it's not a good idea, that is her choice. I'm not going to force her to stay home.

As I said, we'll need to agree to disagree. We have different viewpoints on this subject and I know that I'm not going to budge, nor do I think you can tell me that I'm not doing so out of love based on a disagreement that you and I have about a topic.

Doesn't God "allow" us to choose? He may command us, encourage us, and persuade us, however My God allows me to choose. Choosing because he created us NOT to be robots but to accept his word. My husband treats me with respect. I respect his opinion and yet often we agree to disagree. If he even tried to pull the rank stuff my love and respect for him would dwindle. We submit to each other and allow each other to choose. I am not a "rebellous" wife and I honor my husband greatly because he prefaces everything with God gave you wisdom. That kind of love and encouragement comes from spiritual maturity. 28 years of marriage. Thank you for being that kind of man who will allow your wife the freedom to actually make choices whether the consequences are "good" or not. Thank you for not treating her as a child. Having two married daughters, I certainly pray that their husbands love them this way.

 

[Naomanos]

Doesn't God "allow" us to choose? He may command us, encourage us, and persuade us, however My God allows me to choose. Choosing because he created us NOT to be robots but to accept his word. My husband treats me with respect. I respect his opinion and yet often we agree to disagree. If he even tried to pull the rank stuff my love and respect for him would dwindle. We submit to each other and allow each other to choose. I am not a "rebellous" wife and I honor my husband greatly because he prefaces everything with God gave you wisdom. That kind of love and encouragement comes from spiritual maturity.

Sounds like you agree with what I and several others have been saying?