No friends

[Coyote73]

Hello. I'm brand new here and I really want to get some advice from other believers on an issue that's been plaguing me for most of my life. I could write a book about my life and my struggle to make friends and relate with people but I'll try to be concise as possible.

I'm currently 24 and I recently got out of the military. I recently have come to see very clearly that I seem to have no close friends. I'm extremely awkward socially and I don't know how to change. I cry out for God to change me but things have been the same. I will worship God even if he doesn't change me but I don't even know what I'll do with myself if life continues on like this. I have my ultimate joy in knowing Jesus and I'll endure any trial he puts me through but I just don't see how I could do anything usefull for his kingdom here on earth when I can't even start basic relationships that 99% of human beings have everyday. I can make acquantances quite well but no one ever wants to go any further and I eventually lose contact with them. Because of this I have become extremely depressed <staff edit>. I do have a handful of friends but I wouldn't consider any of them to be close. I have never had a girlfriend and this also really troubles me because I very strongly desire to marry and have a family and I just don't see how that's possible. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble.

Basically I just wanted to get this off my chest. Even if just one person reads this and prays I'd be very thankful. Please pray that God would help me to find my satisfaction in Him above all and that I would stop being so depressed about the trials he's allowed in my life. Also, please pray that I might be able to relate to people better and to love them unconditionally, and also that I might find just one close friend.

Finally, if there's anyone who is in a similar situation and has some advice I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I don't have advice, but am in a similar situation. Do you ever find that communicating with people is easiest in writing? That's the case with me.

 

[Andrew12]

Brother,

Know that People here care, and are here to listen. I'll be praying for you, and if you need to talk, I am usually always around.

ya know God has a purpose for us, but sometimes it seems hard to tell what it is. I have learned though, that during the darkest times, God is usually working to help us in some way. whether it be to grow, or prepare us to do a work.

You have lots of things to look forward too. Friends come & go, but God never leaves us. He sticks closer than a brother.

Coyote, Know that we are praying for you & we sincerely care.

~Andrew

 

[droidBebe]

Hi!

I understand where you are coming from. I don't have very close friends.

This is hoe I try to rectify the issue within myself: I have to remind myself that I have my reality that is real to me. All of my adversities and whatever strengths I have been gifted with. This is the case with others also. So how do I use this to help me forge relationships? This tells me everyone else is exactly like me! How much more do I need to have in common with others? Not much really since this shows me that I can love others based on the fact that they also travel in like manner as myself.

So I must be aware of my full existence: I must be present and conscious of myself always. I should understand that I cannot be anywhere or anyone else. This life I live in this body is really the only worth while thing i posses. Who will I allow near my body, what we will discuss and do: this will be time well spent with others. If I enjoy myself it's good. If others enjoy me this is good. I want to enjoy time on the earth with others and make it rewarding. I do not want to sin and I don't want to be uncomfortable either. If I am uncomfortable then something is wrong.

I will take time to sit in silence and be aware of myself: my spirit and body. Once I am completely present I can build these relationships i desire because I am finally comfortable with myself as i have been created.

Have I rambled on? I hope not. I hope this is helpful!

You're not alone. My prayers and thoughts are with you with love!

 

[jules4christ]

I really understand what you are saying. I was diagonised with bipolar at about the age of 20 and since then friendship has become extremely difficult. Rejection hurts so much. I constantly am reaching out to people. I will not give up. Sometimes I want to.
I am still learning how to deal with this issue. What I think is the key is recognizing God's great love for us. This may seem obvious, but I think it's the hardest thing to hold on to. Though we may not feel it vertically we must know without a shadow of a doubt that we have it horizontially from our Heavenly Father!! God will bring you through this season as I know He will for me also.
God Bless!!!

 

[droidBebe]

I really understand what you are saying. I was diagonised with bipolar at about the age of 20 and since then friendship has become extremely difficult. Rejection hurts so much. I constantly am reaching out to people. I will not give up. Sometimes I want to.
I am still learning how to deal with this issue. What I think is the key is recognizing God's great love for us. This may seem obvious, but I think it's the hardest thing to hold on to. Though we may not feel it vertically we must know without a shadow of a doubt that we have it horizontially from our Heavenly Father!! God will bring you through this season as I know He will for me also.
God Bless!!!

Definitely. Good point.

Along with forgiving others and ourselves, understanding Gods love for us is as essential to our whole being as air itself.

 

[power2theweak]

Coyote,

I'm so sorry that you struggle socially. I do too, and I know the pain and loneliness that it causes.

I just saw a wonderful message yesterday about how to respond to life's trials. I hope it will help you. This Week on TV

"God is up to something good in our lives no matter what the trial may be."

Please trust Him. God loves you and is making you into who you need to be. There is a purpose and a good plan in all of this.

s

Hello. I'm brand new here and I really want to get some advice from other believers on an issue that's been plaguing me for most of my life. I could write a book about my life and my struggle to make friends and relate with people but I'll try to be concise as possible.

I'm currently 24 and I recently got out of the military. I recently have come to see very clearly that I seem to have no close friends. I'm extremely awkward socially and I don't know how to change. I cry out for God to change me but things have been the same. I will worship God even if he doesn't change me but I don't even know what I'll do with myself if life continues on like this. I have my ultimate joy in knowing Jesus and I'll endure any trial he puts me through but I just don't see how I could do anything usefull for his kingdom here on earth when I can't even start basic relationships that 99% of human beings have everyday. I can make acquantances quite well but no one ever wants to go any further and I eventually lose contact with them. Because of this I have become extremely depressed <staff edit>. I do have a handful of friends but I wouldn't consider any of them to be close. I have never had a girlfriend and this also really troubles me because I very strongly desire to marry and have a family and I just don't see how that's possible. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble.

Basically I just wanted to get this off my chest. Even if just one person reads this and prays I'd be very thankful. Please pray that God would help me to find my satisfaction in Him above all and that I would stop being so depressed about the trials he's allowed in my life. Also, please pray that I might be able to relate to people better and to love them unconditionally, and also that I might find just one close friend.

Finally, if there's anyone who is in a similar situation and has some advice I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

Hello. I'm brand new here and I really want to get some advice from other believers on an issue that's been plaguing me for most of my life. I could write a book about my life and my struggle to make friends and relate with people but I'll try to be concise as possible.

I'm currently 24 and I recently got out of the military. I recently have come to see very clearly that I seem to have no close friends. I'm extremely awkward socially and I don't know how to change. I cry out for God to change me but things have been the same. I will worship God even if he doesn't change me but I don't even know what I'll do with myself if life continues on like this. I have my ultimate joy in knowing Jesus and I'll endure any trial he puts me through but I just don't see how I could do anything usefull for his kingdom here on earth when I can't even start basic relationships that 99% of human beings have everyday. I can make acquantances quite well but no one ever wants to go any further and I eventually lose contact with them. Because of this I have become extremely depressed <staff edit>. I do have a handful of friends but I wouldn't consider any of them to be close. I have never had a girlfriend and this also really troubles me because I very strongly desire to marry and have a family and I just don't see how that's possible. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble.

Basically I just wanted to get this off my chest. Even if just one person reads this and prays I'd be very thankful. Please pray that God would help me to find my satisfaction in Him above all and that I would stop being so depressed about the trials he's allowed in my life. Also, please pray that I might be able to relate to people better and to love them unconditionally, and also that I might find just one close friend.

Finally, if there's anyone who is in a similar situation and has some advice I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

I am praying for you. I do not have any friends, I have acquaintances like you do. There is no one I can call and chat with, with one to go visit or to visit me. The only company I ever gets is my MIL. I do like it. This has been my life.

 

[Angel's Light]

I'll be praying for you. I don't have any advice to offer, but I can tell you this; I was once and still am where you are. It does get better. I was 24 when I met my husband. We were arraigned to meet on a blind date. Neither one of us said anything more than hi and be to the other, we spent most of our time talking to our friends (my cousin set us up through his friends wife). Any way, he did end up calling me back and it took six months of us going out with friends before we finally went out by ourselves.

I had felt that I would never find anyone, and I did. I felt God had put me here to suffer, because someone had to. I was wrong. God was waiting for us both to be ready. That was 17 years ago, and though my confidence has grown I am still socially awkward and only mostly make acquaintances, but I'm fine with that.

It will happen for you. God has a plan for you. Trust in him and lean not on your own understanding, it will work out. I will pray for you and as someone mentioned you have people who care right here.

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

Coyote. I read it and I've prayed for you.

Petrarch - too true for me.

Power, thank you for sharing!

 

[strelok0017]

My situation is similar in a way. Thanks to my actions in my past and mostly due to my natural personality (boring, boring and boring with a flavor of boring; and I'm serious. People actually told me that I'm boring) I find myself having no friends, fighting the fight of faith alone and frankly always fearing condemnation. I know there is no such thing for those who are in Christ Jesus but here's the thing: everyone will be judged by their deeds in the end and my deeds are... well, let's see: I'm waiting for the 2nd year of college to start. I'm a part time student looking for a job (mostly searching for it online), sitting in my room all day. It's really sad. Jesus changed my life a lot but I'm still in a strange position. And I thank God that I found out about judgement according to deeds 2 months after becoming a Christian because if I found out about that one day after being saved that would have killed my faith forever. I don't consider myself important for Jesus at all but for now I have hope that one day I might prove to be a worthy investment and do something with my life, maybe even share the Word of God with someone. For now, His grace will have to do for me. I hope He can be my friend one day. Maybe He is now but it doesn't feel that way. You can't have a friend that you keep sinning against so often and expect that He is happy with you, right? At least it's my opinion. I believe Jesus loves me but... I sin, I get discouraged easily, I find condemnation on every page of the Bible instead of hope and the worst of all: no friends. Lately it's just easy to see Jesus waiting for me with a sword. Sorry guys, but I really feel like He is. And the fact that He's giving me time is making it worse. I went off topic; sorry. Please ignore my whining if you think it's too much.
God bless everyone!

 

[HighwayMan]

My friend, I understand and I know very, very well how you feel. I have been alone for most of my life, and the worst is when you are surrounded by a sea of people but feel like a rock on Mars. I had/have social anxiety as well, it can be a huge burden for everything you do.

I wish I had some very helpful advice, but I don't. I can only hope that you know you are not alone. It's not a lot, I know, but sometimes it is the only thing we can hold on to.

 

[strelok0017]

My friend, I understand and I know very, very well how you feel. I have been alone for most of my life, and the worst is when you are surrounded by a sea of people but feel like a rock on Mars. I had/have social anxiety as well, it can be a huge burden for everything you do.

I wish I had some very helpful advice, but I don't. I can only hope that you know you are not alone. It's not a lot, I know, but sometimes it is the only thing we can hold on to.

Thanks. I got used to it. In fact I'm ready to live a life without any real friends. if this is what God planned for me it's fine. Most of it is the consequence of my sin anyway. I believe in Jesus and He is my Lord and that is what gives me hope that what I do will perhaps one day mean something to Him and maybe help someone on this planet. Is He my friend? From time to time I find myself wishing to approach to Him as friend but mostly I can't even imagine Him even paying attention. Well, He does but I'm like a fruitless fig tree which He cursed. The difference is I'm facing the consequences of my sin. I'm talking too much again. Thanks for the reply. God bless you.

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

Thanks. I got used to it. In fact I'm ready to live a life without any real friends. if this is what God planned for me it's fine. Most of it is the consequence of my sin anyway. I believe in Jesus and He is my Lord and that is what gives me hope that what I do will perhaps one day mean something to Him and maybe help someone on this planet. Is He my friend? From time to time I find myself wishing to approach to Him as friend but mostly I can't even imagine Him even paying attention. Well, He does but I'm like a fruitless fig tree which He cursed. The difference is I'm facing the consequences of my sin. I'm talking too much again. Thanks for the reply. God bless you.

Jesus does not punish people because of sin. We are all sinners. Christ died for our sins. We are children of God. We sin, we ask forgiveness, our sins are covered. We punish ourselves. You are not cursed like a fruitless fig tree. No of us go about our lives without sin. We are not perfect and never will be perfect till we are with our Heavenly Father. God's word tells us this. He is your friend. I am not always in prayer but I talk to him. I carry on a conversation.He hears. He hears you. He hears all of us. Approach Him as a friend.

 

[strelok0017]

Jesus does not punish people because of sin. We are all sinners. Christ died for our sins. We are children of God. We sin, we ask forgiveness, our sins are covered. We punish ourselves. You are not cursed like a fruitless fig tree. No of us go about our lives without sin. We are not perfect and never will be perfect till we are with our Heavenly Father. God's word tells us this. He is your friend. I am not always in prayer but I talk to him. I carry on a conversation.He hears. He hears you. He hears all of us. Approach Him as a friend.

Thanks for the reply. I try to but there's always this feeling of expecting a negative response. Since the day I became a Christian I've been reading the Bible and I guess, gained some understanding of how God responds to prayers. The biggest problem is that I get discourage easily. I pray a lot and often I ask God to help me be humble but before I know it I'm acting proud again. I'm not going to say that it means that I never really met Jesus because I believe that I did, just maybe not good enough. He is sovereign and would do me no wrong if He doesn't respond to my prayer or offer me help. His grace is enough but I find it easier to see Jesus answering to my prayer: Maybe or no than yes. Sometimes I'm not even sure I'm praying properly but as long as I seek God, I think He's fine with my silly prayers. And each time when I read Jesus saying "Woe to you,..." I can't not imagine Him telling it to me.
People say that it's easy; and I believe it; to approach Jesus and ask Him for forgiveness every day, but from my experience it's hard from keeping my mind from giving me a list of horrific sins I do (I believe every sin is horrific). That's the bottom line issue of my life. It began after I read James where it says that faith without works is dead. So if I believe in Jesus and due to my sin, remain sort of fruitless, He's gonna tell me to depart from Him on the last day, right? And since I believe with all my heart that the Bible doesn't contradict itself, the fact that He said that He will never cast us out doesn't apply here.

Sorry about the long post.

God bless you!

 

[blushedtweety]

Hello. I'm brand new here and I really want to get some advice from other believers on an issue that's been plaguing me for most of my life. I could write a book about my life and my struggle to make friends and relate with people but I'll try to be concise as possible.

I'm currently 24 and I recently got out of the military. I recently have come to see very clearly that I seem to have no close friends. I'm extremely awkward socially and I don't know how to change. I cry out for God to change me but things have been the same. I will worship God even if he doesn't change me but I don't even know what I'll do with myself if life continues on like this. I have my ultimate joy in knowing Jesus and I'll endure any trial he puts me through but I just don't see how I could do anything usefull for his kingdom here on earth when I can't even start basic relationships that 99% of human beings have everyday. I can make acquantances quite well but no one ever wants to go any further and I eventually lose contact with them. Because of this I have become extremely depressed <staff edit>. I do have a handful of friends but I wouldn't consider any of them to be close. I have never had a girlfriend and this also really troubles me because I very strongly desire to marry and have a family and I just don't see how that's possible. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble.

Basically I just wanted to get this off my chest. Even if just one person reads this and prays I'd be very thankful. Please pray that God would help me to find my satisfaction in Him above all and that I would stop being so depressed about the trials he's allowed in my life. Also, please pray that I might be able to relate to people better and to love them unconditionally, and also that I might find just one close friend.

Finally, if there's anyone who is in a similar situation and has some advice I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

Hi Brother in Christ, I do have similar situation like u. Do bear in mind that close friends do come into your life and go due to many reasons.

Ask seek knock on God - read Matthews 7 : 7 / 8

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, he who seek finds and to him who knocks, the door will be opened

Keep asking God, Keep seeking God, Keep knocking on God.

Sometimes, you might feel depressed why is it so difficult for you yet other can easily find one close friends. Just bear in mind, with God all things is possible. Amen !

Are you member of any church? Have any support cell group?
Stay connected, church is a place to help u grow.

 

[chauchat]

Depression is such a liar. It causes us to feel unworthy. It makes us think that God's promises are not for us. It makes us overthink all discussions that we have with people (if we have any).
So many people feel "weird" when they talk to people, when actually they sound perfectly fine. I hope that you can start to take small steps to meet people, maybe at a church group.
I've always been quite social, but have managed to drop most of my friends. Now I am hoping to get connected again, but it's not so easy.
Glad you reached out here! Each person that you are friends with helps you to make another one, I think.

 

[chauchat]

I don't think that I did this correctly, posting this way with a long quote. Oops. But I just found your post so winsome and clever. It's hard to imagine you with no friends, but I suppose you don't let people see the real you. Is there any way that you can do that?

My situation is similar in a way. Thanks to my actions in my past and mostly due to my natural personality (boring, boring and boring with a flavor of boring; and I'm serious. People actually told me that I'm boring) I find myself having no friends, fighting the fight of faith alone and frankly always fearing condemnation. I know there is no such thing for those who are in Christ Jesus but here's the thing: everyone will be judged by their deeds in the end and my deeds are... well, let's see: I'm waiting for the 2nd year of college to start. I'm a part time student looking for a job (mostly searching for it online), sitting in my room all day. It's really sad. Jesus changed my life a lot but I'm still in a strange position. And I thank God that I found out about judgement according to deeds 2 months after becoming a Christian because if I found out about that one day after being saved that would have killed my faith forever. I don't consider myself important for Jesus at all but for now I have hope that one day I might prove to be a worthy investment and do something with my life, maybe even share the Word of God with someone. For now, His grace will have to do for me. I hope He can be my friend one day. Maybe He is now but it doesn't feel that way. You can't have a friend that you keep sinning against so often and expect that He is happy with you, right? At least it's my opinion. I believe Jesus loves me but... I sin, I get discouraged easily, I find condemnation on every page of the Bible instead of hope and the worst of all: no friends. Lately it's just easy to see Jesus waiting for me with a sword. Sorry guys, but I really feel like He is. And the fact that He's giving me time is making it worse. I went off topic; sorry. Please ignore my whining if you think it's too much.
God bless everyone!

 

[strelok0017]

I don't think that I did this correctly, posting this way with a long quote. Oops. But I just found your post so winsome and clever. It's hard to imagine you with no friends, but I suppose you don't let people see the real you. Is there any way that you can do that?

Thanks for reply.
Not really sure. If they found out more about me they would just dislike me more. I used to be a hard core gamer. Not playing nearly as much as before but still have a game on my comp. I'm not really problematic but it's hard for me to find my way in a crown and I tend to (judging by other peoples reaction) say dumb things. I used to hang out with a couple people back when I just started with college but as soon as they found out how boring I am they stopped hanging out with me. And I don't blame them. Having me in a company can, well, destroy the mood. So I got used to going around on my own. If God wants it I'll have a friend or two I will but that is very unlikely. I wouldn't do much good to others anyway. And trust me: I'm not either winsome or clever.