Godly, Married man & HOOTERS...

[IloveGodAlways]

Greetings, Brothers&Sisters.

I need your spiritual opinions...Should a Godly, Married man go to Hooters? This man just spent the night away from home a couple of weeks ago. His stepson came in from work one night around 11:15pm. He heated up one thing in the microwave. This man got so upset bc he said he wasn't being respected (since he had to get up early to go to work). This man--my husband then went & spent the night out. He went OVERBOARD! My son didn't make much noise. He took off his shoes & tiptoed. He even alerted me on my cellphone to open the door so he wouldn't have to ring the bell. He came in, took my other sons to the bathroom, heated up something to eat (for roughly 60-80 secs.)& went into the room. My husband left & didn't come back til the next day.

Tonight he went to pick his daughter up. He called me to say that his cell phone was about to go out & he didn't have his charger w/him. He said he was taking his daughter to Hooters @ her request. I had just asked him if he were taking her to the mall or the movies. He said he was going to "drive around" & that wherever he went, they weren't going out to eat bc we LITERALLY JUST CAME IN FROM EATING OUT AT A RESTAURANT. I've been in church all day w/our children (spiritual program for children, field trip).He then decides to go to (of all places) HOOTERS!

He goes different places & I never say anything. He occasionally hangs out w/his friends, brother, nephew, coworkers. I am pretty easy-going. In this situation, however, I think he is as wrong as 2 left shoes! I think his decision to go to this place is inappropriate. Please tell me what you think.

Thanking you in advance for spiritual advice.

 

[The Nihilist]

Wow, I don't really think this is the forum you're looking for. Might I suggest the life stages section?

 

[corvus_corax]

Wow, I don't really think this is the forum you're looking for. Might I suggest the life stages section?

/\ This
And we dont know his POV
Every story has 3 viewpoints
Yours, His, and what really happened.
And do not mistake your memories of that last one with "Your" viewpoint.
I'd give Nihilist's ' advice, but if you want to continue this conversation here, you might want to invite your husband to post his POV and story as well.
Otherwise all we're are getting is a one sided story (which, as a victim of an affair and divorce, I can tell you is unfair).

Edited to add-
"His stepson came in from work one night around 11:15pm. He heated up one thing in the microwave. This man got so upset bc he said he wasn't being respected (since he had to get up early to go to work). This man--my husband then went & spent the night out. He went OVERBOARD!"
Yeah he did and apparently you don't have any idea why.
However, I think you do have an idea why.


There are BIGGER problems here than a (non nude) Hooters restaurant.
Hooters is not the problem.
The problem is the relationship between you, him and the kids (and I'm not saying WHO has the problem, but I'm guessing it's not *merely* him)
He is acting this way for a reason
You just have to figure out what it is

 

[BlackSabb]

Wow, I don't really think this is the forum you're looking for. Might I suggest the life stages section?

Oh what a load of garbage!!! Ethics and Morality is the perfect section for this particular question. Nobody ever questions all the nonsense, non moral/ethical questions posted here, but when someone posts a genuinely ethical/moral dilemma, you suggest the OP go elsewhere! Why is a non Christian posting in a Christian forum anyway? I hate Lady Ga Ga. I don't register on her forums posting threads there. Go to your own athestic forums and debate ethics and morality there.

Now to answer the question. Of course it's not right for a "Godly" man to go to Hooters. From what you state, it seems like he did it out of anger and it doesn't sound premeditated, so I can understand that. We all do things like that sometimes.

You also say that he goes to "different places" with friends, coworkers etc. I don't know what you mean by that. Are you referring to clubs, pubs and the like? Are you referring to over indulgence with alcohol? You don't really specify.

From your post, it seems like there are deeper issues at play here. The fact that your husband got totally carried away with your stepson coming home late and allegedly not "respecting" him. To me, this is the real issue, not the fact that in a moment of anger he went to Hooters. Obviously, there is some issues between your husband and your stepson. This is what needs to be addressed I feel.

 

[moonkitty]

Oh what a load of garbage!!! Ethics and Morality is the perfect section for this particular question. Nobody ever questions all the nonsense, non moral/ethical questions posted here, but when someone posts a genuinely ethical/moral dilemma, you suggest the OP go elsewhere! Why is a non Christian posting in a Christian forum anyway? I hate Lady Ga Ga. I don't register on her forums posting threads there. Go to your own athestic forums and debate ethics and morality there.

Now to answer the question. Of course it's not right for a "Godly" man to go to Hooters. From what you state, it seems like he did it out of anger and it doesn't sound premeditated, so I can understand that. We all do things like that sometimes.

You also say that he goes to "different places" with friends, coworkers etc. I don't know what you mean by that. Are you referring to clubs, pubs and the like? Are you referring to over indulgence with alcohol? You don't really specify.

From your post, it seems like there are deeper issues at play here. The fact that your husband got totally carried away with your stepson coming home late and allegedly not "respecting" him. To me, this is the real issue, not the fact that in a moment of anger he went to Hooters. Obviously, there is some issues between your husband and your stepson. This is what needs to be addressed I feel.

In all honesty I do not think anyone is trying to be mean and chase this woman away, more likely she needs better advise than what would be given here. It seems as if the problems in her marriage runs deeper than her husband going out to Hooters one night.

While I'm all up for debating whether or not it is appropriate for a married man to be at Hooters, I think this lady might find better advise and help in the marriage forum.

 

[JustMeSee]

Your pastor or family counselor may be a good source for your family to discuss your challenges and expectations. It is very hard to get a full picture online. It may be as simple as to sit down and talk in a non confrontational way with your husband.

 

[Brak]

I didn't follow everything going on in the OP at all. I can just speak to MHO about Hooters.

I have set foot in Hooters before. Frankly, I'm not afraid to set foot in just about anywhere. The one time I went to Hooters, it was for our lunch break at work. I went out with a bunch of non-Christian friends, and we were already loaded in the van when my boss asked, "Everyone okay with Hooters?"

I know there's a clear innuendo with Hooters, but when I went it was a complete joke. The food wasn't good, the clothing the waitresses wore just wasn't that out of the ordinary, and even the one thing you would think Hooters would be good at--they weren't too good at that, either. And the clientele were all men. If you're going for the sightseeing--well--in most restaurants at least half the clientele you can look at are women. Not at Hooters. Not much sights to see there, except for the waitresses. It reminded me of a Promise Keepers conference, to be quite honest.

The lady taking my order bent down, set down her elbows on the table, and held a pencil in hand so she could take our order. It's obvious why--you're supposed to stare down her cleavage. I looked at her in the eye, and she was clearly uncomfortable.

I have taken all kinds of unbelievable flak from some Christian brothers of mine for joking about going to Hooters for lunch after church. Either I am completely clueless how much some of my Christian friends are struggling with lust and porn behind closed doors, or they must not have a clue how big a joke Hooters is.

Only reason I don't go to Hooters is, I don't like the food.

 

[The Nihilist]

Oh what a load of garbage!!! Ethics and Morality is the perfect section for this particular question. Nobody ever questions all the nonsense, non moral/ethical questions posted here, but when someone posts a genuinely ethical/moral dilemma, you suggest the OP go elsewhere! Why is a non Christian posting in a Christian forum anyway? I hate Lady Ga Ga. I don't register on her forums posting threads there. Go to your own athestic forums and debate ethics and morality there.

This isn't an ethical issue; it's a marital issue. This poor woman sounds like she's having a tough time and needs support from other christians. What it doesn't sound like this woman needs is an ethical debate about lust and marriage.

Besides, who would I pick on in an atheist forum?

 

[Schneiderman]

Now to answer the question. Of course it's not right for a "Godly" man to go to Hooters.

What are you talking about? Why? Is it right for a "Godly" man to go to the beach? Or to turn on a television?

 

[freezerman2000]

I've gone to Hooters before, and the food was great...(I guess it depends on the location)...Go in for food, what is the problem?

 

[freezerman2000]

I'm pretty sure that God will not condemn someone for going into a Hooters.

 

[DaisyDay]

The waitresses at Hooters are just that - waitresses. They are not prostitutes or strippers (which would probably pay better).

He is acting this way for a reason
You just have to figure out what it is

Sometimes that reason is an emotional dysfunction such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Unprovoked temper tantrums that are way out of proportion to the supposed cause is a red flag. I hope that this is not this husband's problem, because that is really hard to deal with (especially before you realize what's going on). But you are right that the OP should seek real help.

 

[GrumpGrump]

Oh what a load of garbage!!! Ethics and Morality is the perfect section for this particular question. Nobody ever questions all the nonsense, non moral/ethical questions posted here, but when someone posts a genuinely ethical/moral dilemma, you suggest the OP go elsewhere! Why is a non Christian posting in a Christian forum anyway? I hate Lady Ga Ga. I don't register on her forums posting threads there. Go to your own athestic forums and debate ethics and morality there.

Now to answer the question. Of course it's not right for a "Godly" man to go to Hooters. From what you state, it seems like he did it out of anger and it doesn't sound premeditated, so I can understand that. We all do things like that sometimes.

You also say that he goes to "different places" with friends, coworkers etc. I don't know what you mean by that. Are you referring to clubs, pubs and the like? Are you referring to over indulgence with alcohol? You don't really specify.

From your post, it seems like there are deeper issues at play here. The fact that your husband got totally carried away with your stepson coming home late and allegedly not "respecting" him. To me, this is the real issue, not the fact that in a moment of anger he went to Hooters. Obviously, there is some issues between your husband and your stepson. This is what needs to be addressed I feel.

What I really like about this reply is that you get nasty to someone who suggests that the OP might want to broach the subject in life stages rather than ethics and morality, and then you proceed to dismiss the ethical content in one sentence and give life stage advice. I think that's called hypocrisy.

 

[rambot]

A lot of good points raised. You'll see more objectionable stuff on TV at any time of the day.

There are those "popular" middle of the road type restaurants (Earls, Moxies,....i have NO idea what is the equivalent anywhere else) where women dress more provocatively; fancier clothes with plunging neck lines.

Hooters has always evoked images of giggling adolescents sneaking in and thinking the arena was super sexy, and little else.

 

[The Nihilist]

A lot of good points raised. You'll see more objectionable stuff on TV at any time of the day.

There are those "popular" middle of the road type restaurants (Earls, Moxies,....i have NO idea what is the equivalent anywhere else) where women dress more provocatively; fancier clothes with plunging neck lines.

Hooters has always evoked images of giggling adolescents sneaking in and thinking the arena was super sexy, and little else.

Goodness, and the food is terrible.

 

[selfinflikted]

Hooters. LOL.

Hooters is full of a bunch of old, horny men who like to stare at boobs. Funny thing is, for all the trashy, skimpy clothes the Hooters waitresses wear, I've never seen a nice rack on a single one of them - and my city has two Hooters locations. Their little orange shorts are all the way up their butt cracks though. I feel sorry for those girls, but at the same time, I just have to laugh because the whole thing is just ridiculous.

THAT said, Hooters has the BEST hotwings in town. THE best. 10 traditional wings, breaded, Three-mile Island (or 911) sauce. They will burn you UP, but are so, so good!

 

[plmarquette]

Blended families are difficult....

Hooters may be a symptom of being hurt, lonely...
my wife gets carried away doing stuff with friends at church all weekend long...even when I am out of town all week, and come home, don't get to see her, cause she is at church all weekend...[love, honor, obey? ... best thing, v's good thing...help at church and damage marriage?]

in essence:
when I was a child I lived, thought, and acted like a child...
but now I put away childish things...

sit and talk...
cut down on extra things, spend time with him
God first, marriage second, kids third...

 

[Mling]

Gah, HOOTERS! *shudder* Worse than strip clubs. Like, I would go to a strip club, and possbily enjoy it, but Hooters just skeeves me out.

At a strip club, there's no secret about what the point of the whole thing is. You're there to look at people's bodies. Awesome. As long as that's out in the open, that's a fine and dandy goal. Godspeed to you.

But Hooters....that "healthy, normal restaurant" veil just makes the skeeviness worse. Hey! They're not strippers! They're not prostitutes! They're just waitresses...

This is just what waitresses are! Being ogled is just part of the waitressing job!

The normalcy of it just reenforces the worst aspects of subtle sexism: the idea that women who are just doing their job, going about their business, exist for men's enjoyment.

With strip-clubs, it's open: the women (or maybe men) are deliberately doing something for the patrons to enjoy. With Hooters it's just this passive, pervasive idea: "Hey...that's what they're for, right? That's what breasts are for, waitresses, women..." Bleh.

 

[JustMeSee]

Hooters. LOL.

Hooters is full of a bunch of old, horny men who like to stare at boobs. Funny thing is, for all the trashy, skimpy clothes the Hooters waitresses wear, I've never seen a nice rack on a single one of them - and my city has two Hooters locations. Their little orange shorts are all the way up their butt cracks though. I feel sorry for those girls, but at the same time, I just have to laugh because the whole thing is just ridiculous.

THAT said, Hooters has the BEST hotwings in town. THE best. 10 traditional wings, breaded, Three-mile Island (or 911) sauce. They will burn you UP, but are so, so good!

I was only in Hooters once. The whole open secret idea of the place made me a bit uncomfortable. I had no interest in ever returning there, but the 911 sauce sounds very tempting. I may have to overlook my discomfort to get a try of their fire.

 

[Mling]

I was only in Hooters once. The whole open secret idea of the place made me a bit uncomfortable. I had no interest in ever returning there, but the 911 sauce sounds very tempting. I may have to overlook my discomfort to get a try of their fire.

Yeah, fan of wings, too. Do they do take-out?