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Would you marry someone you find physically unattractive?

~Beauty_from_Pain~

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I couldn't. If they have other reedeming qualities then we could be friends. But I need to be attracted to the one I'm with. I dated a guy once that I had no chemistry with and wasn't attracted to. It was a no go. I couldn't deal with it. I thought I was shallow. But I realize that I need to be attracted to them. Deeply on the inside for who he is, but enough of an outward attraction (doesn't have to be my ideal, but enough for me to find him attractive or has become so as i have gotten to know him) as well.

Sometimes I meet people who I don't think are attractive and then I get to know them and love their heart and they are attractive and could date them at that time. But, if I can never get past their looks, then my heart doesn't seem to be able to be completely "in" it.
 
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Themistocles

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No, but most people are attractive, no? There are certainly girls I'm not attracted to physically- right away. But, mostly that doesn't mean they're not attractive. They're just not my physical type. But if they were my type in other ways, my physical type would change in a hurry. I think only, say, 30% of women are genuinely "my type" (or one of my types) physically and another 50% are attractive, but not my type. That leaves maybe 20% that I couldn't, probably, marry. Those aren't terrible odds.
 
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broken_one

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Your experience has been limited, Broken. If you do a poll of the women here, the vast majority will agree with Ethnog's sentiment.
Again though, my experience (limited though it be) affects my reality a lot more than you gals. I love you ladies, but I'm (sadly) not dating you. Nor will I ever in the future. :(

I seem to always after awhile have to keep gfs focused on "us" or some thing similar, or else they like to wander off and break my wittle heart in ze process. It's a sad reality....I'm running like 3 of the last 4 relationships now. It's nice to know that not all people are like that, but it seems like of the women I'm attracted to that quality is something that is often extremely hard to find.
 
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Beauty4Ashes

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Again though, my experience (limited though it be) affects my reality a lot more than you gals. I love you ladies, but I'm (sadly) not dating you. Nor will I ever in the future. :(

I seem to always after awhile have to keep gfs focused on "us" or some thing similar, or else they like to wander off and break my wittle heart in ze process. It's a sad reality....I'm running like 3 of the last 4 relationships now. It's nice to know that not all people are like that, but it seems like of the women I'm attracted to that quality is something that is often extremely hard to find.

Maybe it has less to do with your looks and more to do with your lack of self confidence. Low self confidence is not attractive.
 
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MacFall

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Its hard for one to have self-confidence when one has been despised for his whole life by every girl in whom he has been interested. I'm getting better, but I assure you it is HARD TO DO. It's not like you can wake up one day and suddenly decide that you're awesome when all the evidence suggests otherwise. Or even, since coming to this forum, 90% of the evidence. And I would bet that Broken has had similar experience.
 
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Themistocles

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MacFall,

There's the whole alpha male/ beta male idea, and self confidence is supposedly a HUGE divider. Alpha males are confident. Beta males aren't. Alpha males are probably more attractive too, but there's some definite overlap. I've known guys who don't seem at all attractive, and unlike some guys I don't pretend not to know the difference, but nonetheless had all kinds of success with women. You may not be able to wake up one day and decide you're awesome, but if you took some advice as simple as Matthe 6:34, and just stopped worrying about whether you were awesome or not, it'd likely make a world of difference. Of course, I'm one to talk: theory and reality don't meet much in my world.
 
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MicArmstrong

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I tend to reject the idea that someone can just decide to be different and then voila! They have girls swooning over them. Certain physical features draw more girls. Some guys have higher amounts of testosterone which a woman is more attracted to when she is at her most fertile stage.

It reminds me of that TV show that was supposed to help guys find girls. The guy who ran it was tall and handsome, and of course had no problem finding girlfriends. Some of the students were middle of the road, but one was short and fat. Despite the skills he was taught, the short and fat one remained single. In the end, genetics won out.
 
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Themistocles

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Oh sure, I'm not someone who believes that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I think there are real features that are more attractive to most of the human race and that, all else being equal, people who have those features will have better luck in the dating arena. But thing is, all things aren't equal. Confidence is one thing you have some measure of control over. Not arrogance, but confidence. Unattractive people who are secure are going to do better than unattractive people who aren't. Almost all of the time. There's probably a decent sized group of women and men who find a certain kind of shyness and modesty more attractive, but there's a fine line between shyness and low-self esteem. And very few people manage to end up on the right side of the line.
 
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