Do you kiss after the first date, if you're very attracted?

[20MoreMiles]

I think it's appropriate when you're both having a great time and feeling attracted, that you say goodbye to her (or him) with a passionate kiss. Doesn't have to be a long one, maybe even just a brief one, but passionate. I think it's a good way of showing that you like her, and seeing whether she likes you. Of course, you must build up to that moment. For instance, i usually hold her hand (and this is all assuming there is a very good connection between us) when walking from one place to another, for instance after you've had dinner, a drink or went to a club, comedy show or theater. That way, the kiss is the next logical thing.

I've had a girl who wanted me to kiss her at the end, but was disappointed in getting three kisses on the cheeks (which is the dutch way of saying hi or bye to a formal friend of the other gender). She wasn't Christian though, in fact, i've never dated a Christian girl because i only recently saw the light. Is this appropriate for most Christian girls? And don't tell me "ask her", that's the most unromantic thing you can do. In my experience, women expect us to "just know" what they want, not ask about it.

 

[Inkachu]

I used to, when I was younger. But I don't now. You need to earn a kiss from me with a bit more than one good date.

However, I think you'll hear that it's acceptable from most of the ladies here. And since you know that some ladies don't mind it, and others do, I'm afraid the best thing to do IS to ask her. I think that's what a gentleman would do.

 

[deliciousBass]

After they provide me with three forms of documentation stating that they are clean and free of herpes, I may kiss them if the date would be rated as a B+ or higher.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

DELETED

Because this is the singles section of Chritian Forums, where singles congegrate to fellowship and ask advice of their Christian peers. If wanted advice on a dating topic, I would want it from other Christians - especially if there was an aspect of morality to the question.

Yes, I have kissed on the first date, but only when it has been someone that I have already spoken to on the phone or online - meaning only after having gotten to know her.

 

[lostaquarium]

After they provide me with three forms of documentation stating that they are clean and free of herpes, I may kiss them if the date would be rated as a B+ or higher.

A lot of people have herpes. If you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes

 

[ido]

I typically don't kiss on the first date - or sometimes even the second date. And I absolutely loathe perfunctory "end of the date" first kisses. I want a kiss to happen at a natural moment, not when it's expected b/c that always comes with it's own amount of awkwardness. There should be that moment during the first couple of dates where kissing each other just happens. Those are the best kinds of first kisses, IMO.

 

[deliciousBass]

A lot of people have herpes. If you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes

I'm talking about the type 2 strain.

 

[.Sabre.]

**DISCLAIMER**
I am NOT promoting, just describing my views and experiences. Don't do what I do, unless you were gonna anyway. Also, don't call me a....you-know-what.

Yes, I did kiss someone the first time I met up with them. We're friends, and don't really plan on getting serious.

 

[Gwendolyn]

I'd be upset if a guy tried to kiss me if we'd only had a few dates. If I'm only going on dates with a guy, I don't want to get physical with him. Once we've made a commitment and become exclusive, then I'd feel comfortable kissing him for the first time.

I'm also not the type to go on dates with someone I don't already know, though. I don't like dates being used as a "get to know you" tool. Get to know me in a regular social situation. Don't put me in a romantic situation right off the bat when I don't even know you well.

 

[GQ Chris]

I like to get this out of the way at the end of the first date, so I can gauge whether there is chemistry, and she doesn't think of me like Wally Cleaver.

 

[Inkachu]

I'd be upset if a guy tried to kiss me if we'd only had a few dates. If I'm only going on dates with a guy, I don't want to get physical with him. Once we've made a commitment and become exclusive, then I'd feel comfortable kissing him for the first time.

I'm also not the type to go on dates with someone I don't already know, though. I don't like dates being used as a "get to know you" tool. Get to know me in a regular social situation. Don't put me in a romantic situation right off the bat when I don't even know you well.

 

[latteda]

I wouldn't kiss someone I wasn't in a committed relationship with. I think that and most forms of physical affection are things that show you belong to each other. When you're still going out to decide if you want to be exclusive, kissing seems a little premature. However, I can say for myself physical affection is a strong expression of my feelings. If I kiss a man, I am opening myself up to him emotionally. And, honestly, it would be hard for me to do that with someone I didn't know well enough to really trust.

However, having said all of that, my boyfriend and I kissed on our first date. BUT...we had already been friends for a year and a half at that point, AND we had already established the fact that we were exclusive.

 

[latteda]

I typically don't kiss on the first date - or sometimes even the second date. And I absolutely loathe perfunctory "end of the date" first kisses. I want a kiss to happen at a natural moment, not when it's expected b/c that always comes with it's own amount of awkwardness. There should be that moment during the first couple of dates where kissing each other just happens. Those are the best kinds of first kisses, IMO.

I do wholeheartedly agree with that.

 

[20MoreMiles]

I typically don't kiss on the first date - or sometimes even the second date. And I absolutely loathe perfunctory "end of the date" first kisses. I want a kiss to happen at a natural moment, not when it's expected b/c that always comes with it's own amount of awkwardness. There should be that moment during the first couple of dates where kissing each other just happens. Those are the best kinds of first kisses, IMO.

I agree that it's perhaps better when the kiss happens at a very nice timing. Myself i don't really care about that, but choosing some romantic environment for it drives women crazy.

However, if no kiss happened after the end of the 2nd date, i'd assume she has no interest in me that goes beyond friendship.

**DISCLAIMER**
I am NOT promoting, just describing my views and experiences. Don't do what I do, unless you were gonna anyway. Also, don't call me a....you-know-what.

Yes, I did kiss someone the first time I met up with them. We're friends, and don't really plan on getting serious.

I'm not talking about a date with a friend, i'm talking about a date with someone who you have only talked to on the phone, MSN, AIM or whatever.

I wouldn't kiss someone I wasn't in a committed relationship with. I think that and most forms of physical affection are things that show you belong to each other. When you're still going out to decide if you want to be exclusive, kissing seems a little premature. However, I can say for myself physical affection is a strong expression of my feelings. If I kiss a man, I am opening myself up to him emotionally. And, honestly, it would be hard for me to do that with someone I didn't know well enough to really trust.

However, having said all of that, my boyfriend and I kissed on our first date. BUT...we had already been friends for a year and a half at that point, AND we had already established the fact that we were exclusive.

If you were dating someone that you weren't friends with already, but you'd gotten acquainted for a couple of days or weeks via Internet chat, and you'd not kiss him after 2 dates, how is he supposed to know that you do like him more than a friend?

What's more, you say you only kiss someone who you have a relationship with, but kissing typically is the way a relationship start. To ask him/her if he wants a relationship sounds very formal and unromantic to me (and that's coming from a guy!).

 

[Markus6]

However, if no kiss happened after the end of the 2nd date, i'd assume she has no interest in me that goes beyond friendship.

I tried to kiss the girl I'm currently dating on the 3rd (or possibly 4th) date and was shot down. We talked about it and a month later we became and official couple and had our first kiss. It's fair to say she's crazy about me now. Your assumption would be completely wrong for most women (check the poll on this subject for proof).

If you were dating someone that you weren't friends with already, but you'd gotten acquainted for a couple of days or weeks via Internet chat, and you'd not kiss him after 2 dates, how is he supposed to know that you do like him more than a friend?

There are hundreds of other ways. What she says, body language, etc.

 

[latteda]

If you were dating someone that you weren't friends with already, but you'd gotten acquainted for a couple of days or weeks via Internet chat, and you'd not kiss him after 2 dates, how is he supposed to know that you do like him more than a friend?

Um, because I'm going on a date with him?

Not to mention the serious flirting.

What's more, you say you only kiss someone who you have a relationship with, but kissing typically is the way a relationship start. To ask him/her if he wants a relationship sounds very formal and unromantic to me (and that's coming from a guy!).

Well, that all depends on your perspective. To me, kissing isn't the way a relationship should start. It should start out of compatibility, mutual attraction, respect for one another, and a decision that you would like to be officially together as a couple. Kissing should be an expression of that commitment and your affection and respect for one another. You are looking at it in a totally different way than I am.

And you don't necessarily have to ask, "Will you be in a relationship with me? Yes? Good. Let's kiss." *couple goes in for a forced kiss* Bleh. But usually a couple does have some kind of discussion about where the relationship is and whether or not they are committed to dating each other exclusively.

 

[Gwendolyn]

However, if no kiss happened after the end of the 2nd date, i'd assume she has no interest in me that goes beyond friendship.



I'm not talking about a date with a friend, i'm talking about a date with someone who you have only talked to on the phone, MSN, AIM or whatever.



If you were dating someone that you weren't friends with already, but you'd gotten acquainted for a couple of days or weeks via Internet chat, and you'd not kiss him after 2 dates, how is he supposed to know that you do like him more than a friend?

What's more, you say you only kiss someone who you have a relationship with, but kissing typically is the way a relationship start. To ask him/her if he wants a relationship sounds very formal and unromantic to me (and that's coming from a guy!).

Wow, then I would DEFINITELY not kiss him. I don't even know him! In your scenario, I would have only been talking to him for a little while! Why would I kiss someone I don't know well, and trust? Sure, the stirrings of feelings would be there. How is he supposed to know? - uhh, I TELL him? Feelings between two people aren't supposed to be a big secret if you're going on dates, for pete's sake. I'd much rather he expressed his feelings for me rather than try to kiss me. If he just tried to kiss me without expressing his feelings in another way, I'd turn away, say goodnight, and tell him it's been a slice, but I don't want to see him again.

Kissing has never started a relationship for me. That sounds like a really strange way to start a relationship off. Why would you kiss someone you don't know well? Why would you want a relationship/commitment/whatever with someone you don't know well? It just sets things up for a lot of trouble imo, if you start dating someone you don't know well. Sure, you learn MORE about a person when you date them, but it definitely shouldn't be a means to get to know someone at all in the first place.

I knew my former boyfriend for 1.5-2 years before we got into a relationship. Maybe I'm just backwards, but that's how I roll. I prefer to be past the starry-eyed, he-can't-do-any-wrong phase. I prefer to know his flaws and not gloss them over. Butterflies are nice, but they're misleading. Having butterflies when you know a person well, you understand and acknowledge their flaws, etc.? Much better than having a simple immediate attraction to someone when you've only just met them. That fades fast.

 

[Gwendolyn]

To me, kissing isn't the way a relationship should start. It should start out of compatibility, mutual attraction, respect for one another, and a decision that you would like to be officially together as a couple. Kissing should be an expression of that commitment and your affection and respect for one another. You are looking at it in a totally different way than I am.

This. And I think you'll find by far that the vast majority of women feel this way.

 

[ido]

I agree that it's perhaps better when the kiss happens at a very nice timing. Myself i don't really care about that, but choosing some romantic environment for it drives women crazy.

See, I disagree that it has to be a "romantic" environment. I could be fishing in a lake with a guy and if the moment feels right I'm going to kiss him...and there is nothing romantic about sitting next to a bucketful of fish gasping and flopping about.

FWIW, romance is nice and I personally enjoy romantic gestures...but if a guy is trying to woo me with all sorts of romantic gestures, I'm going to assume that he has one thing on his mind. Romance has its place, but when it's being used to manipulate a first kiss or something like that, it's actually a turn off to me.

 

[Pyrogenesis]

No way. It's just not the way I work, kissing for me is quite far down the chain of events towards marriage. I'm on a date with someone it's to enjoy their company and get to know them. At the risk of sounding cutesy and lame, the absolute boldest move I'm likely to go for is holding hands while walking home; far less invasive than kissing if I've misread signals, etc.