Would this be a red flag to you?

[moonkitty]

Would this be a red flag to you?

My daughter is 10 years old. She is starting to develop a sense of independence. To me this is a good thing. But apparently this is a red flag to her teacher. I just got off the phone with said teacher. She called to inform me that my daughter made her own lunch today and brought it to school. I’m like, “yes, I know, I supervised her.” Apparently, a child making her own PB-N-J is a bad thing. And the teacher wanted to make sure things are going “ok” at home. *UGH*

Normally my children eat lunch at school, but like I said my daughter asked if she could make her own lunch. I said sure, and supervised her as she used a butter knife to spread the jam and peanut butter. She also added some marshmallows. Then she threw in some pretzel sticks and an apple sauce. What is the big deal here? Why does that need a phone call home to check in on us? I was under the impression that my role as a parent was to encourage my children to be more independent as they grew up.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Good for your daughter! Maybe it wasn't that she made her own lunch but that it was out of what was normal for your daughter at school. *shrug* My 7 year old would love to make her own lunches but she would never make it to school on time if we allowed it.

 

[seamonster]

I think it's great your daughter made her own sandwich - at 10, she's more than old enough. My 11 year old sister lived with me until recently and she made her own breakfast and lunch every day. I have no idea why your daughter's teacher would think that's strange...

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Would this be a red flag to you?

My daughter is 10 years old. She is starting to develop a sense of independence. To me this is a good thing. But apparently this is a red flag to her teacher. I just got off the phone with said teacher. She called to inform me that my daughter made her own lunch today and brought it to school. I’m like, “yes, I know, I supervised her.” Apparently, a child making her own PB-N-J is a bad thing. And the teacher wanted to make sure things are going “ok” at home. *UGH*

Normally my children eat lunch at school, but like I said my daughter asked if she could make her own lunch. I said sure, and supervised her as she used a butter knife to spread the jam and peanut butter. She also added some marshmallows. Then she threw in some pretzel sticks and an apple sauce. What is the big deal here? Why does that need a phone call home to check in on us? I was under the impression that my role as a parent was to encourage my children to be more independent as they grew up.

She's 10 and the teacher is concerned???? MY son is 6 years old and wants to make his own food, as a matter of fact I worry that I don't give him enough freedom to be independant. He's been getting himself his own ceral for a year or two now in the morning. Some people would be concerned by this, but I'm of the opinion that it's a good thing to encourage independance in your children, helps them be more responsble when they get older.

Maybe the teachers was concerned that you are one of the parents who is just not involved.... like a drug addict that is too busy being drunk/drugged to make lunch for their kids. Maybe it'll help you feel better if you just see it as her just making sure everything is ok and that that is not the case. However, I'd probably throw in the conversation that your daughter will probably continue to make her own lunch in the future as well and that you don't see it as a bad thing but a good thing.

HB

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Perhaps the teacher was concerned that you might be having financial troubles (trying to save money by making lunch rather than buying school lunch)? Sounds like a gentle inquiry to make sure that all is okay, since this is not the norm for your daughter.

 

[razzelflabben]

As a former teacher, I also lack an explanation. One thought I do have is this, in todays economy schools are finding more and more parents who are struggling to put food on the table. If your daughter usually eats at school, maybe the teacher got the idea that you were struggling. I would talk to the teacher and ask exactly what she thought the problem was, it would be better than waiting til a misunderstanding got out of control and ended up hurting a lot of innocent people. Besides, few parents understand that they are the one's who hire and pay the teachers. Go in or call and get it straightened out before it turns into something it is not.

Just my two cents worth.

 

[miyako_1984]

I was too lazy to make my own lunch. Maybe I'd work harder now if I had!

 

[miyako_1984]

probably just had a moment insecurity herself- overcautious and was just checking your daughter wasn't one of the ones who HAD to make her own lunch, rather than having the great time it sounds you did after she'd chosen to. I guess they might a look a bit the same (kid with own made lunch in the end) to a teacher who didn't know you so well.

Up to you but I'd probably let it go unless there are any more over concerned phone calls. I'm sure you put her mind at rest and even impressed her.

Good work on the marshmallows!

xm

 

[moonkitty]

Perhaps the teacher was concerned that you might be having financial troubles (trying to save money by making lunch rather than buying school lunch)? Sounds like a gentle inquiry to make sure that all is okay, since this is not the norm for your daughter.

After I had time to think over things, I think it might have been something along this idea. The school does know of the recent loss of my father in law, and other things--neither one that I would connect to money issuses, but who knows how someone else may view it. I have decided that I probably over reacted just a little (though I was poliet to the teacher). I'm sure she was just concern and in a way I'm a bit touch that she was concerned. I guess I have to tone down my own independant streak and let others check in on us as well.

 

[Mommajack]

My 10 year old also sometimes makes his own lunch (time permitting!). He enjoys doing it, although he inevitably wants to make PB & J. He also likes to help make dinner.

I can't imagine why a teacher would actually call you about it, except for the reasons posted above.

 

[FallingWaters]

I was thinking perhaps the teacher thought your daughter made the sandwich without your knowledge because it might have seemed to be not very nutritious.
Of course, about once a year, my kids make a sandwich like that for themselves also, but I don't let them do it regularly.
My daughter used to eat the same thing for lunch every day... a plain cheese sandwich with nothing on the bread.
She didn't want anything else.
She's still a cheese and bread nut!

 

[tiredwalker]

I had to make my lunch starting in second grade. It was supervised, but that was my big chore. I can't imagine what she was thinking was the problem. You may want to call and ask. Maybe it was a nutrition thing with the marshmallows? weird

 

[£amb]

It may not of been about her making the meal itself that was a red flag. It may of been out of norm for your daughter (as said) and it caught the teacher's attention. Actually, I impressed that a teacher would notice this and would be happy if my children's teachers were this intentive. It shows me the teacher cares about her students. I know when I was teaching, I knew if something seemed "out of the norm" or if something didn't seem right with the child and I would speak with the parent to make sure if things were okay.

ETA: sorry, I think I echoed what someone else said previously.

 

[moonkitty]

It may not of been about her making the meal itself that was a red flag. It may of been out of norm for your daughter (as said) and it caught the teacher's attention. Actually, I impressed that a teacher would notice this and would be happy if my children's teachers were this intentive. It shows me the teacher cares about her students. I know when I was teaching, I knew if something seemed "out of the norm" or if something didn't seem right with the child and I would speak with the parent to make sure if things were okay.

ETA: sorry, I think I echoed what someone else said previously.

I don't think it was that the teacher is that attentive, but the fact that my daughter has to broadcast every detail of her life. LOL. I'm thinking that she told the teacher and anyone else who would listen that she "Had to make lunch all by herself this morning...." in her best over dramatic voice.

I love her, but she can be a DRAMA QUEEN!

 

[£amb]

I don't think it was that the teacher is that attentive, but the fact that my daughter has to broadcast every detail of her life. LOL. I'm thinking that she told the teacher and anyone else who would listen that she "Had to make lunch all by herself this morning...." in her best over dramatic voice.

I love her, but she can be a DRAMA QUEEN!

That I can see. I had many children tell me many things...more than I wanted to sometimes..