Jen
LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!
If you continue to let your husband treat you like garbage and a door mat you will become one. You must save yourself or be destroyed!
Talk to all and any churches and tell them of your situation and see if one of them will help you with the basics living essentials. Try the social services, friends, family, anybody.
Quite worrying about every interpretations of the bible. Don’t you think that God does not want His daughter Jen treated like garbage and become an emotional cripple, a cripple that may not be able to take care of her children if she is destroyed? IMO God’s love for you and your children supersedes anyone’s interpretation about separation from an abusive husband.
My grandmother left my emotional damaging and drunken grandfather with her 5 young children in the 1930s depression era at a time when there were no social services or churches to help her. She was in her 30s, she did what she had to do to survive and dedicated her life to God for the next 50+ years. She remained single and became contented and grateful to God. All her 5 children are good people that are thankful that she left grandpa.
All the concern about divorce and the Bible can be addressed at another time. You have to take care of the number one priority right now and that is saving your self from emotional destruction that may become permanent.
I think that the bible is the Word of God and I am not addressing the issue of divorce right now. I am addressing the welfare of you and your children. If your husband seeks God in the future and wants to get right, God will be there for him, but you are not as strong as God and need to LEAVE!
Stan
PS I recommended to you the book “Love Must Be Tough” (By James Dobson) last year. Did you read it?
Regarding the book, no, but I probably should have.
I'm having such terrible nightmares...about my husband trying to kill me, eating my fingers, chasing me, another woman in my house, me in a circus balancing on a high wall next to a cliff wondering if it would really be so bad if I fell off.
In reality, my husband works so much that I barely see him. Our financial situation has become dire but God has been faithful to send more work my way.
I talked to God last night and I felt His presence so I know He hasn't left me. "Less thought, more action" appears to be the order of the day. But coming up with a plan and implementing it with confidence is another story.
I guess I thought that I was immune to personal tragedies, that God would protect me from...pain. I've become a shell of a person, fearing relationships with other human beings for fear that they might turn into something inappropriate or take time away from being a wife and mom. Now, I realize that I need to live. I need to work on myself, my body, my outlook, my dreams and pursue...something!...and that it's not selfish to do this as I've been taught. (I'll have to keep telling myself this is true before I can begin to believe it).
I have always wanted to go to Australia since I was about 10, maybe even stay there for awhile. That desire is stronger than ever. I've wanted to be a cosmetic dentist and that desire is stronger than ever.
Maybe I'm more "in tune" to hear about Australia lately but Melbourne keeps coming up. I don't know if I'm just wanting an escape or if I've romanticised a city or if I just need to go. Or...if I'm losing my mind.
My husband is, like I said, spending so much time at work but when he is at home, he's basically leaving me alone. I don't see any great change in his love or opinion of me. He's pitching in around the house and I can tell that he's nervous about the future.
I spoke to my sister and best friend and both say to make an effort daily to get closer to my husband. I don't know if I want that anymore. I can't trust him with my heart. I don't think I'm being unforgiving...I've just been hurt badly by the one person who is supposed to love me the most. He can't even see clearly what he's done to me...although he did admit that he's been mad at me for two years because the house is a mess. Imagine...rejecting your wife, making her feel like you don't love her, leading her to believe that your rejection is all in her head, befriending other women and flaunting those relationships in front of her, lying to her...all because your mad that the house is a mess! How shallow! How spiteful! I'd beg him to tell me what he expects of me, whether he expects me to cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care of myself, run a business and do the work all by myself, be a hostess to his family and friends, bring in half the household income, and meet his needs all at the same time and he said that's not what he expects. But wouldn't tell me what would please him.
I feel like I'm dead but my body is still here.
His parents are coming for the winter in about three weeks. I'm afraid they are going to try to influence the situation or gang up on me to "forgive and forget for the sake of the kids".
Would God really want me to leave my husband? Even if he has been horribly emotionally abusive to me for two years, is that what God would want me to do? Maybe it is...maybe my husband needs a wake up call. My husbands priorities in life are completely messed up. Maybe it's part of a plan to change my husbands behavior and priorities.
Who was the woman in the Bible...the mother of Ishmael, Hagar...she left because Sarah was treating her badly and an angel told her to go back to Abraham and to Sarah and to submit to her.
Is this me? Am I the one who is being silly and who needs to "forgive and forget"? Is a husband who doesn't love his wife anymore really sinning? Am I just property in God's eyes that is at the mercy of my husband?
I can't believe I'm this undecided and having so much trouble. A stronger me would've left the moment I found out he's been lying. What kind of message am I sending to him?...that he can treat me any way he wants and I won't go anywhere, there are no consequences.
