knowing love:(

[Jo1]

Hi everyone I want to share with you my main struggle really and thats knowing the love of God for myself and knowing other people love me.
I suppose ive always found this difficult, mainly because of my background. I mean I do know my parents did love me but they didnt show that in any way. I didnt know my mum growing up and my dad couldnt express it to me. I didnt get hugs or told that i was loved. Though my dad was kind to me and always tried to buy me what i wanted but i just wanted love more than presents.
When people say im special and they say nice words about me I think they must be talking about someone else really not me. I think they are just saying it but not really meaning it. I went to see a friend today for eg. shes lovely and she said that im special but she doesnt believe that herself like me. She suffers from MS.
I just dont understand anyone loving me really or God for that matter.. My self esteem has been low of late..

 

[texastig]

Hi everyone I want to share with you my main struggle really and thats knowing the love of God for myself and knowing other people love me.
I suppose ive always found this difficult, mainly because of my background. I mean I do know my parents did love me but they didnt show that in any way. I didnt know my mum growing up and my dad couldnt express it to me. I didnt get hugs or told that i was loved. Though my dad was kind to me and always tried to buy me what i wanted but i just wanted love more than presents.
When people say im special and they say nice words about me I think they must be talking about someone else really not me. I think they are just saying it but not really meaning it. I went to see a friend today for eg. shes lovely and she said that im special but she doesnt believe that herself like me. She suffers from MS.
I just dont understand anyone loving me really or God for that matter.. My self esteem has been low of late..

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

Keep your identity in Christ. You are an Ambassador for Christ and a Child of God and Joint-Heir with Christ.
Remember, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not.
Thanks,
TT

 

[drich0150]

You really know how to silence most of the coffee shop wisemen around here. I've had to think about this for a few days myself.. not wanting to make a bad situation worse.. nor do I want to give fluff for advise..
I'm not aware of many scriptures on what we should do when we don't "Feel" loved by anyone or anything including God.. So i guess I'll have to wing it..

First of all know that you are loved by God, and by your family. Weather you can see or feel it. know in your mind and in your heart that the love exists in those two places. As far as family goes many people do things differently. and what you perceive as love may not be something your family members are equipped to give you. It's not that they don't love you, it's just not there to give in the quantity, or quality that you want..

For those of us who grew up in a house where material things were given instead of an emotional connection. We may get confused when the "emotional gift" is given.. When we convert the good feelings to (love points) we tend to convert it like we would an expensive gift..

If gift giving is the primary form of expression you may see more "things" as apposed to "shared special moments"or (positive loving feelings)...
But unfortunately in the gift giving home, our security and selfworth is tied to how good our last gift was, and how long ago we got it...

you could say we all have a hole in our hearts and no matter how full the last gift made it we will need another soon. or our heart feels empty like we aren't loved.

But as we get older our needs change from what can be primarily: trinkets, trips or in my case transformers, to real emotional expression, but unfortunately we still carry the need for frequent "gifting." That can be emotionally draining to even the most giving among us.. and to someone not equipped to handle such a need they may do lot of different things to try to fill your "hole" especially if they love you.. but usually canot give you what you want.

How do you fix it.. most of us can't, but knowing really knowing that the problem isn't with the absence of love.. but our own inability to see it in what ever form it's taking, can be conforting.

As far as feeling love from god.. Ask him to change your prospective of love to What he originally intended for us when he allowed us to love..
Let me warn you now, one of Gods angles is probably not going to show up while you sleep and sprinkle special angle water on your head, and tomorrow you'll wake up knowing love..

This "prayer" will more than likely be answered thru a series of trials and hardships.. "but what ever thy lot" right? ask god to prepare you and give you the tools and wisdom to see this thru the end and he will... just keep knocking (asking) months, years, what ever it takes.. ask him to show you his heart.. just be ready to see it.

 

[goldenviolet]

jo, you have always been my beautiful little flower here.
my mailbox is always open for you. one of my spiritual gifts is a glimpse of the Lord's amazing love. this small glimpse, left me on my face for quite some time; i was racked with tears, pain, and unconditional love, and i was overwelmed by the vision of Christ crying tears as He summited to the cross to cleanse our evilness. you are one of the many people that the Lord has written across my heart. jo, if you can only see a glimpse of His love. Abba! Father, Creator, please bless jo with wisdom as she searches out for your comfort and our fellowship. in Jesus' precious name, amen.​

His character:
*compassion*
the compassion of God's love
is bigger than His wrath...
invision His compassion:
He calls you by name.
seek His compassion:
it bought you eternal life.
exstend His compassion:
we are His hands and feet;
the salt and light of the earth.
when touched by the compassion of the Father;
accomplish great things.
leave the compassion of the Father;
miss great things.
aaawww

*warmfuzzies*
you are super special... thought you needed to hear it! xo dee​

 

[Johnnz]

Your upbringing can sort of 'freeze' you, leaving you with some difficulties connecting feelings and actions. That can lead to being down on yourself.

You can start by accepting rather than discounting compliments and praise. Try some hugging with safe people. That opened me up to a lot of hidden feelings. Act lovingly to others and try and sense their
acceptance of you and their appreciation. Icebergs thaw rather slowly, so it doe stale consistent and persistent efforts. But it is very worthwhile to do.

Bless you
John
NZ

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

I related a lot to the OP. I just wanted to say that the replies I have seen have kind of been helpful to me too.

 

[Anti Existance]

You need to learn to love yourself. And by helping and loving other people, you will get love and appreciation casted back into your life. Go Volenteer!

 

[s_gunter]

I know nothing substitutes for the real thing, but . You are indeed loved. I also know that knowing you're loved and feeling loved are two different things. I don't have advice to give, but I did want you to know that you are indeed loved.