No Sons for Redguard?

[Redguard]

Disclaimer: Let me make it perfectly clear right from the start that I have NO PROBLEM with the fact that I have no sons. It is not an issue for me. Now we can proceed.


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There’s something that my wife prods me with occasionally, and it’s a question as to whether I’m discouraged or bothered by the fact that I have two daughters, but no sons.

I think the question stems from several sources. One of them being that, while we were dating, I may have expressed a desire to have both sons and daughters just so I could see what my offspring would be like in both genders.

Another source may be the historical and stereotypical idea that men NEED sons so that they have someone to carry the family name into the next generation. Or someone that they can roughhouse with or take out to do “manly” things.

But I think the biggest source of her concern comes from our families. Just about everyone on my side of the family has at least one boy and one girl. Some have even commented on the fact that they continued trying until they had one of each. This is more often the case when they’re trying for a son.

So when I say to her that it doesn’t matter to me, she has a hard time believing me. Deep deep deep deep deep down… I think that there’s a part of me that doesn’t want a son. I look at myself, as well as a lot of my guy friends and other male peers, and I just feel as though raising a boy… especially through the teenage years, is just a huge challenge. I know… girls are a challenge as well. But at least they mature faster.

Anyone else have any experience with this?

 

[Meshavrischika]

everyone bugs us about having another baby because we have 2 girls and no boys... it's irritating. like there's some obligation on our part to support societies idea that women aren't able to carry on the name or family traditions and such. (where's that puking smiley?)

 

[Leanna]

My dad has two girls (she is my half sister). I've never heard one peep from him about wanting a son. When I had a boy, neither he nor my stepmom had any idea what to do with a boy....

 

[Redguard]

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[Redguard]

Great. The posts are getting all screwed up again. Doh!

 

[Redguard]

x

 

[Redguard]

Just remembered another source for why Mrs. Redguard is convinced that I MUST want a son before we stop having kids.

I bought her a box set of the Tudors, Season 1 for her birthday. I haven't been watching it with her, but apparently King Henry felt nothing but disdain towards his wife because of "her inability" to provide him with a son. So he sleeps with another woman, she gets pregnant and has a son, and he's so happy that he's parading the news all across the kingdom with no regard to the fact that he had an affair.

 

[marezee]

I get the same thing only "when are you going to try for a girl!" LOL!
we have 3 boys and no girls.

 

[gracepaints]

First off, yay about the Tudors!

Secondly, I think each gender has its own challenges and what you know seems less scary. I wanted a girl, got a boy and now, to be perfectly honest, the thought that we might have had a girl kinda scares me for some reason. At the moment, I think I am about as much estrogen as out little family can tolerate.

 

[heart of peace]

It almost sounds that your wife is coming to terms with the idea that she may never have a son to mother more so than her concern for how you are feeling about the issue (that may be part of it as well but there could be something deeper driving her to think the way she is).

As for me, I only have one child, a son, at the moment. I want a big family so long as I am able to support and nurture a large family. I don't have any preferences. If I have all sons, then that is what would be meant for me and I am content with that.

Females and males are very different from one another and not easily compared.

 

[Adela]

Just remembered another source for why Mrs. Redguard is convinced that I MUST want a son before we stop having kids.

I bought her a box set of the Tudors, Season 1 for her birthday. I haven't been watching it with her, but apparently King Henry felt nothing but disdain towards his wife because of "her inability" to provide him with a son. So he sleeps with another woman, she gets pregnant and has a son, and he's so happy that he's parading the news all across the kingdom with no regard to the fact that he had an affair.

(About old Henry VIII, there was a little bit more to it than that, but I hate that show. )

I have two sisters and no brothers, but people used to always make comments about it, like my dad should be disappointed or something. It actually felt like they were saying we weren't quite good enough because we were girls.

I don't think girls are easier by the way. They come with their own issues. I wouldn't go back to being 13 for anything.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

My dad has 2 daughters and then two grand daughters when we thought we were done having children. Then in a surprise blessing we had a son. He never once made is seem like my sis and I weren't enough or that he wanted a son. However, I know he was more than a little over joyed to have someone of his gender when we'd come over for dinner while my husband was at work.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

My dad has 2 daughters and then two grand daughters when we thought we were done having children. Then in a surprise blessing we had a son. He never once made is seem like my sis and I weren't enough or that he wanted a son. However, I know he was more than a little over joyed to have someone of his gender when we'd come over for dinner while my husband was at work.

 

[MyaShane]

I know some people think that about my husband with us having 2 girls. But honestly, the baby is SO attached to him and they're so close that I wonder how it could possibly get any better for him.
It's one of the reasons that I'm glad we're done because if we had another girl, we'd never hear the end of my family's comments on what a shame that it wasn't a boy!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

I'll admit it, my DH wanted a son. Don't get me wrong, he wouldn't be upset or disappointed with girls, he was overjoyed with his daughter, but there is something there about having a son. Maybe it's left over societal pressure and tradition, it could well be, I don't know... Me, well, I was scared of having my boy because I grew up with all girls and have no idea about little boys... my mum got quite a shock the first time she changed his nappy - after having all girls herself! lol!

 

[CarrieAg93]

I get the same thing only "when are you going to try for a girl!" LOL!
we have 3 boys and no girls.

Ditto here - 3 boys. Everyone assumes I am disappointed that I don't have a girl. Not the case at all. I think girls are harder.

 

[GolfingMom]

LOL. I guess many ppl go through the same thing. We keep hearing how I'm still young and how we should keep trying for a girl. We don't want a girl! If your family bugs you, tell them to have another child

 

[Redguard]

Since some of you mention not wanting a girl, you all have me curious to hear your reasons for not wanting one.

 

[CarrieAg93]

Since some of you mention not wanting a girl, you all have me curious to hear your reasons for not wanting one.

Boys are loud and rough, but they all play together as a group and if they have a dispute they just punch each other and it's over.

Girls are all about the drama. They like to exclude someone and they hold grudges against each other. They can be really catty and mean. I'll talk loud and wild over drama any day.

 

[CarrieAg93]

Since some of you mention not wanting a girl, you all have me curious to hear your reasons for not wanting one.

Boys are loud and rough, but they all play together as a group and if they have a dispute they just punch each other and it's over.

Girls are all about the drama. They like to exclude someone and they hold grudges against each other. They can be really catty and mean. I'll talk loud and wild over drama any day.