Why do men cheat on thier wives?

[NightEternal]

Men's Infidelity Triggers

When a high-profile man gets high-profile press for high-price sex, it's enough to get the collective voice of women asking a whole bunch of why questions.
Why do men cheat? Why can't they control themselves? Why do they have to pay for it? The answer may seem simple at first (if he's not being satisfied at home, he'll roam the neighborhood). But the reasons are a little more nuanced than that.
Some guys are simply serial cheaters - think about the trail of rumors that followed Bill Clinton into the White House. But other guys, like Eliot Spitzer, seem like upstanding citizens until wham, bam, thank you ma'am, they show exactly how low they're willing to go. What is it, then, that triggers a normally faithful man to cross the line from from being committed to breaking trust, from home cooking to ordering out?

Power (or Cash)

It's not to say that entry-level men who make minimum salaries don't cheat, but it's also pretty clear that powerful men with the means to withdraw hefty sums of cash (for hotels, gifts, prostitutes) are often candidates. It's not just because they have more options; it's also because they think their invincibility in the office will also extend to their private lives, which they assume will remain private no matter how high-profile they may be. Arrogance is a form of blindness, after all.

A Sudden Change in Status

Maybe he hasn't been elected Governor, but has your guy gone from middle management to senior exec lately? Simply making the leap from corporal to captain can put a guy in a difficult spot - he's suddenly separated from his office crew, facing challenges at work that you may not relate to, and looking for someone to tell his woes to - even if it costs $1300 to get her to keep quiet and leave after he's seemingly unburdened himself.

The Family Circus

I'm not saying it's right, and I'm not saying it's fair, but some men can feel like they're last in the family pecking order once the gaggle of children dominates schedules, time, and his wife's attention. That doesn't mean that kids drive their fathers to cheat, nor does it mean that families are to blame. It just means that the situation can make some men more vulnerable to be influenced by...

An Unexpected Ego Stroke

A note from an ex, a compliment from a co-worker, a good rapport with a server at his favorite bar. If the affection in his primary relationship dwindles as time goes on, a guy's hormones can skyrocket when he feels the charge of a new woman showing some attention. Most times, innocent bantering is just that, but coupled with other triggers, the chemical reaction is a dangerous one.

Cyber 'Safety'

Plain and simple: The Internet has made it easier for men to feel safer-in everything from looking for dates and mates to sending innuendo-laced IMs to the hot coworker on the third floor.
The apparent safety of flirting in his own keyboard can build an unhealthy feeling that everything he's doing is OK, making it more likely he can slip into making some very stupid choices. An addictive personality only compounds the problem.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/88222/your-mans-infidelity-triggers/

 

[Pythons]

Sexual desire is a moving target and when the lines of communication between a husband and wife are not banging on all cylinders people covet then sin evolves from there to.....

 

[Lebesgue]

I mean that too!

Shalom,

Lebesgue

 

[Telaquapacky]

When your wife is your best friend, that friendship is too important to betray. Guys who have affairs are not married to their best friend.

Another thing, some people hold the misconception that you can keep an affair a secret. Unless a man and wife are in a long-distance relationship with each other or hardly ever see each other, keeping an affair secret is impossible. Guys who have jobs that keep them away frequently for days at a time are susceptible to infidelity.

 

[NightEternal]

I was listening to the Dr. Laura radio program the other day, and the topic was dealing with the Eliot Spitzer scandal.

She pretty much laid the blame on wives of cheating husbands for not 'meeting the needs of thier men' and 'not making them feel like kings'.

I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaat???!!"

Real nice Laura. Blame the victim.

Personally, I think cheaters should be castrated with a rusty butcher knife, and that's AFTER the wife divorces him and cleans him out financially through the settlement.

 

[JonMiller]

I know a lot of guys who are enamored with the hunt. They like getting new women much more then having a woman. Men also often think of themselves as less manly if they are not getting new women.

Finally, a lot of couples don't work on their relationship after their marriage. This causes it to break down.

JM

 

[StormyOne]

Listening to Dr Laura.... hmmm that could be an issue in and of itself.....lol

 

[StormyOne]

People cheat (men and women) because they can...

 

[StormyOne]

People cheat (men and women) because they can...

 

[Miss Shelby]

I think women are just as likely to cheat as men.

 

[Miss Shelby]

I was listening to the Dr. Laura radio program the other day, and the topic was dealing with the Eliot Spitzer scandal.

She pretty much laid the blame on wives of cheating husbands for not 'meeting the needs of thier men' and 'not making them feel like kings'.

I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaat???!!"

Real nice Laura. Blame the victim.

Personally, I think cheaters should be castrated with a rusty butcher knife, and that's AFTER the wife divorces him and cleans him out financially through the settlement.

I don't agree with her wholeheartedly, but I think that when a female cheats and when a male cheats is because they are missing something in their marriage.

It shouldn't be an excuse, it should just viewed as one of those 'for worse' times that goes along w/ for better or for worse, and the marriage partners should try to make things more exciting in their marriage as opposed to looking elsewhere. theoretically of course.

 

[reddogs]

I don't agree with her wholeheartedly, but I think that when a female cheats and when a male cheats is because they are missing something in their marriage.

It shouldn't be an excuse, it should just viewed as one of those 'for worse' times that goes along w/ for better or for worse, and the marriage partners should try to make things more exciting in their marriage as opposed to looking elsewhere. theoretically of course.

Well when you marry for love, it solves a lot of those issues......

 

[moicherie]

I think women are just as likely to cheat as men.

I agree for unless all cheating men are gay then we can assume they are cheating with another woman, who is probably cheating someone else.

 

[RC_NewProtestants]

“Are you saying the women should feel guilty, like they somehow drove the man to cheat?” a visibly aghast Meredith Vieira of “Today” asked Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a radio host.


Dr. Schlessinger replied, “Yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/12/arts/television/12watc.html

Wow radical, you mean that there are two people involved in a partnership. Amazing next thing some one will tells us is that for "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." They will probably be severely rebuked also.

 

[NightEternal]

Listening to Dr Laura.... hmmm that could be an issue in and of itself.....lol

It's the old 'car-wreck' syndrome Stormy. You are repulsed by it, but somehow because of the morbid fascination, you can't tear your eyes (in this case ears) away.

 

[NightEternal]

I think women are just as likely to cheat as men.

True, but the article referenced in the OP was dealing with men specifically.

It would take a whole new thread to deal with the reasons for a woman cheating, as that is probably a different dynamic and much more complex.