Sleep Training & Attachment Parenting

[BananaCake]

Do any of you who lean toward attachment parenting do any sort of sleep training? I don't really consider myself to be AP, but I lean in that direction.

I find myself fluctuating between being satisfied with Baby Bear's sleep patterns & being frustrated. He's never been a good sleeper & I'm not sure how much I can do to change that without lots of crying. I have non-AP friends who tell me stories of doing sleep training (with amazing results of course) & I get jealous

So, what have some of you found that has helped? We've tried the No Cry Sleep Solution & some of Dr. Sears' suggestions, with only minimal improvements.

 

[CelticRose]

Some babies just don't sleep as well as others no matter what you do. My oldest & my youngest turned out to be highly intelligent, emotional types & they were my worst sleepers by far ~ as babies, toddlers, children & teenagers. They seem to have trouble turning their minds off enough that they can relax into sleep. One is a boy & the other a girl so gender makes no difference. A soothing bedtime routine helped ~ but not enough to make an appreciable difference.

 

[Leanna]

What a controversial title, lol

David we "sleep trained" when he was a new baby. With Maya I tried to do prevention and establishing habits that I wanted more than anything because from what I've seen changing sleep patterns after they are established is so much more difficult, and it worked perfectly, so I'm going to try it again with the next baby. The main difference between the two was that I didn't let Maya cry, but I did let David cry.

 

[jgonz]

I'm more AP and co-sleep with my babies until various ages (different personality baby, different timing on having them sleep elsewhere. )

 

[jgonz]

I'm more AP and co-sleep with my babies until various ages (different personality baby, different timing on having them sleep elsewhere. )

 

[BananaCake]

I'm more AP and co-sleep with my babies until various ages (different personality baby, different timing on having them sleep elsewhere. )

We are currently co-sleeping, even for naps (though he mostly naps on my lap), which means I get absolutely nothing done :o My house is a mess, I'm lucky if I get enough to eat, and it's starting to wear on me.

 

[BananaCake]

What a controversial title, lol

David we "sleep trained" when he was a new baby. With Maya I tried to do prevention and establishing habits that I wanted more than anything because from what I've seen changing sleep patterns after they are established is so much more difficult, and it worked perfectly, so I'm going to try it again with the next baby. The main difference between the two was that I didn't let Maya cry, but I did let David cry.

I'm afraid I've created a bad sleeper I've always tried not to nurse to sleep. There are other ways occasionally that we can get him to fall asleep, but it's very rare. I've been trying the No Cry Sleep Solution "gentle removal" plan for not nursing to sleep for months, but it does not work for him at all. I've always tried to put him down drowsy, but he just cries & cries and I'm not willing to allow him to cry for more than a minute or two.

 

[bliz]

Co-sleep with your baby, including naps. Lay down and you take a nap as well. Nap time is not meant for new moms to get housework done, but for them to get some badly needed rest!

Why the concern over baby getting to sleep without nursing? How did such a wonderful thing become a bad habit that has to be broken?

Make sure that you take your time nursing. The highest fat content milk (takes the longest to digest) is the hind milk that comes after baby has been nursing awhile. Cut their nursing times short, or switch the baby from breast to breast and baby never gets the richer milk. Try nursing from only one breast each time.

 

[Green Orchid]

I think we are in a similar place. Ds doesn't have a constant routine, he nurses to sleep, which I don't really mind in the day. But he is waking up a lot at night - I have a hard time keeping track I'm so sleepy, but's it's around 5 times. The night wakings are bothering me a little bit.

I've got "the no-cry sleep solution" coming in the mail, I hope it has useful advice!

 

[Green Orchid]

I think we are in a similar place. Ds doesn't have a constant routine, he nurses to sleep, which I don't really mind in the day. But he is waking up a lot at night - I have a hard time keeping track I'm so sleepy, but's it's around 5 times. The night wakings are bothering me a little bit.

I've got "the no-cry sleep solution" coming in the mail, I hope it has useful advice!

 

[JustBoo]

I've discovered my perception of my situation makes all the difference in the world.
With that in mind. . .relax. Get a wrap. If there is something you feel *absolutely* must get done , put your bub in the wrap and carry on doing whatever you're doing. Baby will be soothed to sleep and you'll feel as though you've accomplished something. Otherwise , just lay down with him. Lay with/ nurse him till he's alseep then sneak away to get something done if you'd like.

Let go of any frustration or guilt you have over letting the house go or soothing your baby to sleep and just do what's best.

No matter what , eventually your baby willnot need to nurse to sleep and will not need you to help get to sleep. It may be next month or next year but eventually your babewiull be independant. don't rush it. In the 70-some years this human will exist the few years of dependance and soothing and cudling will be merely a blip on the radar .THe couple of years ofmessy house and unaccomplished tasks will be only a blip on the radar. I didn't slow donw and enjoy my first baby , my second one , I indulged in every way. Nursed at basically any time day or night , cuddled with him all day , carried him , snuggled him , used a wrap , co slept and not only did my attachment to my seocnd child come more easily and quickly but his attachment to ME did the same. He's also confident , and quite easy to leave with others to be babysat ( and he's only 14 months . . .he's a wee bit shy with ppl hes not familiar with , especially men . .but all in all for a 14 month old he's quite easygoing). He's confident and sweet and cuddly and happy. I can hardly remember my first child's 'babyhood' . . and that will always be a regret. I'll never regret having spent soooo much time wrapped up in my second child. My house may've ben messier and I might not have gone out much in the last year . . but when all is said and done I will treasure all tyhe cuddle times and nursing and snuggling far more then I'll treasure the " independance' I pushed my daughter into early in her life. ( which by the way . . only worked temporarily , now she is not as secure as I'd like and not as independant as she could be)

 

[BananaCake]

I've discovered my perception of my situation makes all the difference in the world.
With that in mind. . .relax. Get a wrap. If there is something you feel *absolutely* must get done , put your bub in the wrap and carry on doing whatever you're doing. Baby will be soothed to sleep and you'll feel as though you've accomplished something. Otherwise , just lay down with him. Lay with/ nurse him till he's alseep then sneak away to get something done if you'd like.

I've tried to work on my perception & my expectations; I really have. And I feel like I have nothing left to compromise.

Cleaning the house is secondary; I agree. But eating is primary Right now, I can barely find time to cook and eat. And due to the baby's food sensitivities, I need to avoid eating dairy, soy, corn, wheat, nuts & most seeds, so I have to cook; convenience foods are really out of the question unless I eat rice cakes & fruit all day, which doesn't work for my blood sugar issues.

So far, he only likes the Bjorn. Not only does it hurt my back (he's 20+ lbs), but unfortunately, he rarely falls asleep in it.

Co-sleep with your baby, including naps. Lay down and you take a nap as well. Nap time is not meant for new moms to get housework done, but for them to get some badly needed rest!

I know that would be ideal, but I'm not a good napper I wake up nauseous, dizzy & my blood sugar is out of whack for hours.

Why the concern over baby getting to sleep without nursing? How did such a wonderful thing become a bad habit that has to be broken?

If he falls asleep nursing, he expects me to be his human pacifier all night.It's too painful for me.

Try nursing from only one breast each time.

I've pretty much been doing this since the beginning due to him having green poops and when I was doing my elimination diet. Sometimes I do switch, though. I'll make sure to keep him on one again.

 

[sparassidae]

Not much advice here. We are AP and cosleep, I don't restrict night feedings unless it is getting out of hand (ie more than every 2 hrs after about 9 months old). If we are in that situation, DH takes over for every alternate wake so the child gets the picture.

Youngest DD is currently 17 mo and still feeds twice a night, so we're right on target although most people would be horrified.

I definitely second the advice for getting a better baby carrier. Visit thebabywearer.com, find some other babywearing mums near you and try them out. That way you can cook or whatever with baby/toddler comfortably napping on your back. I can't imagine living without one (or four lol)

 

[Pinki]

I like to think of myself as a bit of an attachment parent...

I use slings and pouches to carry my newborns.
I am into extended breastfeeding (my 1st was just over 2 when he weaned with minimal effort).
I stay at home with my kids and "indulge" them a reasonable amount.
I don't like using daycare or babysitters (but do occasionally).

Having said that, I start sleep training my kids from when they are very young. I keep my kids in my room until they are 6 months old, but they sleep in their cots, not in my bed.

When my babies are around 6 weeks old, I start to train them into sleeping routines (which are still pretty flexible) by putting them in their cots when they show tired signs, and letting them cry (just for a few minutes) until the drift off to sleep. They typically cry for a minute or 2 - long enough for me to leave the room, close the door and step away, and rarely for any longer. It is more of a whimper, than a real cry or a full blown scream - I couldn't and wouldn't leave my kids to cry like that!

As a result, my children have always slept well, and slept long. The worst part about it is that they HAVE to have their own beds for sleeping, and don't like to drift off to sleep in the car, the pram, the sofa, or in my arms. I can put up with the inconvenience of that though, as I love my uninterrupted sleep, and well rested babies!!

 

[Pinki]

I should add - I start off with nursing my babies to sleep, but around 6 weeks, I start to ease out of it (but never really worry if they do fall asleep at the breast - my youngest is 10 months old and he will fall asleep on occasions). I don't see an issue with it, UNLESS it is the only way they can sleep. Sometimes (like when I want to go and get my hair done or something girly), I can't be there to put him to sleep, so it is nice to have alternatives.