In love with a non-Christian.

[Jacquianne]

Hi, I'm new here so I'm not sure I should be posting, but I really need advice, so I hope I'm in the right forum section.

As the title suggests, I have fallen in love with a non-Christian. Both of us know the other likes us but I have made it clear to him that I cannot date him because I am a Christian. He respects that and hasn't asked me out.

The complication is that he is my dancing partner (we do jive and ballroom) so we spend a lot of time together, particularly evenings and hours together just chatting. We have had a few 'moments' - just hand holding a bit too long or an innocent cuddle. But I can't help feel like I'm in danger and I know it's hard for both of us to be 'just friends'. I haven't a clue what to do, he's too good a friend and dance partner to lose, yet I cannot compromise my faith by dating a non-Christian, something the Bible advises against.

Yet he's showing an interest in Christianity and is asking lots of question and reading lots of books I give him and listening to tapes of my sermons. Today he went to church for the first time. I can't help but think it's because of me.

What on earth do I do? What would you do? What does God want me to do?

Thanks,

Jacqui.

 

[dvanderdeen]

Hi, I think that you are right to be cautious about this situation, and have been handling it well. It can really be hard when you feel a strong attraction to a non-christian and you don't feel it would be right to persue the relationship. I know that I have been in that position before, and I wouldn't be suprised to find many others here have been too.

However I think that you should be very pleased that he is making efforts to get to Christianity and that he is willing to check out your faith. Even if his motivation for doing so is because he is interested in you, that does not mean that he will not form a true relationship with Christ and become a true believer.

I think that you should continue to support him and encourage him to learn about God and what Christ has done for him. God may be using this relationship that is developing between you two as a way to reveal Himself to this guy. Just continue to be cautious and pray that God will work in his life and his heart and help him to become a true believer.

 

[Tannic]

Hi, I think that you are right to be cautious about this situation, and have been handling it well. It can really be hard when you feel a strong attraction to a non-christian and you don't feel it would be right to persue the relationship. I know that I have been in that position before, and I wouldn't be suprised to find many others here have been too.

However I think that you should be very pleased that he is making efforts to get to Christianity and that he is willing to check out your faith. Even if his motivation for doing so is because he is interested in you, that does not mean that he will not form a true relationship with Christ and become a true believer.

I think that you should continue to support him and encourage him to learn about God and what Christ has done for him. God may be using this relationship that is developing between you two as a way to reveal Himself to this guy. Just continue to be cautious and pray that God will work in his life and his heart and help him to become a true believer.

This is very well said. My advice is to support him and lead by example. Also this might be a chance to lead him to christ and hopefully he'll be real about it and not because he's trying to get you.

 

[Jayangel81]

Hi, I think that you are right to be cautious about this situation, and have been handling it well. It can really be hard when you feel a strong attraction to a non-christian and you don't feel it would be right to persue the relationship. I know that I have been in that position before, and I wouldn't be suprised to find many others here have been too.

However I think that you should be very pleased that he is making efforts to get to Christianity and that he is willing to check out your faith. Even if his motivation for doing so is because he is interested in you, that does not mean that he will not form a true relationship with Christ and become a true believer.

I think that you should continue to support him and encourage him to learn about God and what Christ has done for him. God may be using this relationship that is developing between you two as a way to reveal Himself to this guy. Just continue to be cautious and pray that God will work in his life and his heart and help him to become a true believer.

Good advice

I hope everything works out and in the end He does truly come to Christ. We all come to Christ in our own way, and God will do anything to get into a relationship with him.

 

[BrBob]

What on earth do I do? What would you do? What does God want me to do?

Stay the course! It's relationship evangelizing. He sees Christ in you. Continue to stand for your bvalues and He will probably come around.

Bob
Spearfish, SD

 

[Elijah2]

My dear sister, you have been given good advice, and His Word does say about being unequally yoked with unbelievers. But, we are unequally yoked every day of the week and we can't shut ourself away from the world.

As advised, be very cautious, and it's not easy for us to be cautious when we are young. Oh, to be 19 again!

Lead by example, don't detour from your task and belief, just keep feeding him Scripture but in a simple way.

For an example in the world they say things like, "Every dog will have their day!" But we say, "They reap what they sow!"

Do you get the drift. Keep it gentle, good and kind, and you will win through, because he will see the light in you.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[wiggbuggie]

it also says in the bible that a wife or husband is made right with God because of their believing partner (not saying if you gonna go as far as marriage) but if you wanna date him why not?

 

[heron]

-weird out-of-place duplicate post-

 

[heron]

The advice about unequal yoking protects people from entering a fifty-year marriage where people don't understand each others' motives. It can be hard living with someone that long, especially when a spouse doesn't understand the time you'd want to spend at church, the tithe you give when finances are low, the devotion you pay to an invisible being.

I know that you're not talking about marriage, but being in love with someone usually leads to a desire for closure and guarantee.

The two of you already have something in common, and you each understand devoting time to dancing. That's great. That's part of yoking -- carrying the same burdens and heading in the same direction.... pulling the same workload.

No matter what you decide, keep in mind the big picture of your life. Value your ability to set your own goals, and direct your life wisely. Make life a creative project, that you will look back at and enjoy later.
Stare realities hard in the face, and don't back down.

Your life with God is precious, and it is uniquely yours. Plan your steps.