Singles (guys especially): a tip to ease the fear of rejection

[MikeKolb]

Be a salesman, at least once in your life. You will take a pounding as far as rejection goes, but after the first few, it will barely sting, and eventually, it will not sting at all, whatsoever. I worked as a car salesman for a month or two. The experience was short - the fearlessness lasts forever (unless you get vastly out of practice, but it comes back fairly quickly)

its funny you say this. I worked for 3 years in retail and won numerous MVP awards for sales, but never could get the courage for women... meh

 

[Gardener101]

well no, my plan was just to be nice to them... NOT a good idea. If I had acted like a jerk I probably would have been more successful

but it's best not to push the issue, just wait until God brings the right one along, and that way I won't have to worry about selling myself to her because the attraction will be mutual

Wrong on so many levels

 

[deliciousBass]

Wrong on so many levels

Hi, Gardener

 

[Gardener101]

Hi, Gardener

Hello serial flirt!

 

[deliciousBass]

Hello serial flirt!

Dangit, I can't add to your rep and tell you something. Screw it.

Just so you know, I don't regret flaming that guy. Especially after what he said to you. But I didn't see your post about changing it until after it was closed. Not that I would've changed what I said anyway.

And so not to derail the thread. I think that as you get older, mature, are more socially outgoing and more comfortable in your skin, the fear of rejection lessens. There just comes a point in your life where you say "enough! I won't let my shyness get the best of me forever" and start being a little more assertive with your feelings. Kinda like the abused spouse/girlfriend who eventually steps up to her husband and leaves him. It takes time, but it's going to happen. Terrible analogy, I know. But I know for a fact some people on these forums can relate to that.

And yes, Maelstrom, acting like a jerk is actually quite effective at getting a really messed up girl. The kind that lies that she's pregnant or that she has a heart condition. Or cheats on you with your best friend. And just adds a ton of drama to your life. So trust me, stick to the good girls. There's plenty of them out there.

 

[Gardener101]

Dangit, I can't add to your rep and tell you something. Screw it.

Just so you know, I don't regret flaming that guy. Especially after what he said to you. But I didn't see your post about changing it until after it was closed. Not that I would've changed what I said anyway.

And so not to derail the thread. I think that as you get older, mature, are more socially outgoing and more comfortable in your skin, the fear of rejection lessens. There just comes a point in your life where you say "enough! I won't let my shyness get the best of me forever" and start being a little more assertive with your feelings. Kinda like the abused spouse/girlfriend who eventually steps up to her husband and leaves him. It takes time, but it's going to happen. Terrible analogy, I know. But I know for a fact some people on these forums can relate to that.

And yes, Maelstrom, acting like a jerk is actually quite effective at getting a really messed up girl. The kind that lies that she's pregnant or that she has a heart condition. Or cheats on you with your best friend. And just adds a ton of drama to your life. So trust me, stick to the good girls. There's plenty of them out there .

Hehehe I would have reported you then.

 

[SteelNinja]

Well, as far as rejection, it's happened to me before a few times. My problem has been perhaps feeling a little uncomfortable because it's the women that want me.

I mean, I can find some time every now and then to take out and have a little dinner together with no commitments, I'm good with that.

But my friends, lets face the facts. I just got out of university with a degree in engineering, I'm still looking for that job... I'm not very wealthy right now, and when I do get an offer, you bet your pennies I will go for it. First offer wins, period. Now with that in mind, guess where I could be? Anywhere, but very likely somewhere in Canada.

Now you're probably wondering what this has to do flirting and dates. Here's what, all of this could get me into the biggest trouble possible for SteelNinja, it's called a long distance relationship. I don't trust those kinds of things. It's too much time on the phone, too much time writing letters, too much time wondering what is she doing 500 thousand miles from this lonely place.

Nah-an, not gonna happen. Getting settled into my career is where all my money is going at. Relationship and marriage, whenever I have the money to spend on that gorgeous, understanding, beautiful, special, loving *gasp* gold digger, moderate to high maintenance wife, well that will come later when I'm more mature and when I can *gasp* afford her.

I guess for the time being, maybe I should pick up smoking again and quit playing my harmonica, so I don't end up trading productive life for a dating adventure that can be a headache.

Now with all that being said ladies, I hope me and others like myself aren't being too brash here. We still love you, we still think you're beautiful, and we still want to be your friends if you do. Just gives us a chance to make ourselves ready for this marriage by letting us settle down in our careers and live single for a little bit, right? We just ain't quite as mature as you think right now.

btw, I stand and believe that engineers make the best lovers, always.