'Lusting After Marriage'

[joshualoves]

Like a lot of others perhaps, I used to think the word 'lust' was always a bad thing. But in sum I came to learn that there were 'base/low/carnal lusts' and then there were lusts that were not, are not and cannot be wrong.

Now, I have come across this concept of 'lusting after marriage'. It seems that now believers are being taught that lusting after godly marriage to be a wrong thing...even to be a sin. I've heard it in the context of a femme not being so caught up wanting to be married that she doesnt see what God wants for her life--and yeah I agree things should be in the right perspective and in accord to godly priorities.

But pardon me, but I dont see how other than God wanting you to wait, how can wanting to be married be a sin? OK if a guy/gal wanted to get with a prostitute or sleep around with random people without any marriage covenant in place--but I mean is there something scripturally valid to 'lusting after marriage' to the extent that young girls should feel like they are sinning by wanting something godly? Or is it something taken out of context and spun to an extreme to the point of becoming a buzzword for a legalistic burden?

I dont think one's desire to get married should be so great that it eclispes, or causes you to not see the blessings htat you have or maybe God is trying to show you how to better yourself for the one that you have. I mean ASK and believe that you HAVE it--you shold get ready for him/her right? If you asked for a car and believed that you had it, maybe you might clean out the garage and make room for it? But I dont see how deeply desiring something sanctified and holy (even if it involes SEX!) is intrisically sinful. Now all lusts/deep desires are not wrong. To yearn deeply to be at your bible meeting vs to year deeply to be at the porn store. I hope this thread will serve to break legalistic chains as well as edify.

 

[Gardener101]

Like a lot of others perhaps, I used to think the word 'lust' was always a bad thing. But in sum I came to learn that there were 'base/low/carnal lusts' and then there were lusts that were not, are not and cannot be wrong.

Now, I have come across this concept of 'lusting after marriage'. It seems that now believers are being taught that lusting after godly marriage to be a wrong thing...even to be a sin. I've heard it in the context of a femme not being so caught up wanting to be married that she doesnt see what God wants for her life--and yeah I agree things should be in the right perspective and in accord to godly priorities.

But pardon me, but I dont see how other than God wanting you to wait, how can wanting to be married be a sin? OK if a guy/gal wanted to get with a prostitute or sleep around with random people without any marriage covenant in place--but I mean is there something scripturally valid to 'lusting after marriage' to the extent that young girls should feel like they are sinning by wanting something godly? Or is it something taken out of context and spun to an extreme to the point of becoming a buzzword for a legalistic burden?

I dont think one's desire to get married should be so great that it eclispes, or causes you to not see the blessings htat you have or maybe God is trying to show you how to better yourself for the one that you have. I mean ASK and believe that you HAVE it--you shold get ready for him/her right? If you asked for a car and believed that you had it, maybe you might clean out the garage and make room for it? But I dont see how deeply desiring something sanctified and holy (even if it involes SEX!) is intrisically sinful.


Now all lusts/deep desires are not wrong. To yearn deeply to be at your bible meeting vs to year deeply to be at the porn store. I hope this thread will serve to break legalistic chains as well as edify.

Guilty as charged


Good post

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

This may just be semantics, but I always used "lust" to describe desires that were out of hand.

Following that, even if you lust after something Godly, it's a sin when it replaces God as your priority.

So, I don't really see a strong desire or focus for a Godly marriage to be a bad thing, but when it consumes you or replaces God's will (Lust, by my definition I guess) it's sinful. I guess it depends on how strong the desire is and what affect it has on your life.

 

[Luther073082]

This may just be semantics, but I always used "lust" to describe desires that were out of hand.

Following that, even if you lust after something Godly, it's a sin when it replaces God as your priority.

So, I don't really see a strong desire or focus for a Godly marriage to be a bad thing, but when it consumes you or replaces God's will (Lust, by my definition I guess) it's sinful. I guess it depends on how strong the desire is and what affect it has on your life.

I agree, although I'm sure its all something we are guilty of at some point or another.

I think I sort of understand what he's getting at now because honestly I just couldn't tell what the original post was getting at until I read your reply.

 

[JPPT1974]

You have to resist it with
God's help as well as stay focus
On your spouse knowing that they are
Depending on you as you are on them
To make the marriage work.

 

[Sketcher]

This may just be semantics, but I always used "lust" to describe desires that were out of hand.

Following that, even if you lust after something Godly, it's a sin when it replaces God as your priority.

So, I don't really see a strong desire or focus for a Godly marriage to be a bad thing, but when it consumes you or replaces God's will (Lust, by my definition I guess) it's sinful. I guess it depends on how strong the desire is and what affect it has on your life.

A simple word study of "lust" in the New Testament shows that we can have lusts that are good and right, and also lusts that are wrong. What matters is whether we desire something that is forbidden or not, and the proportion of our desires to loving and obeying God.

Sexual lust as I understand it is sexual coveting. The rule to follow here is Matthew 5:28. The Lord doesn't frown on desiring our spouses sexually at all. He wants married couples to be turned on to each other! The only time when this could possibly be a problem would be if this (like any other good thing) became idolatry.

 

[joshualoves]

A simple word study of "lust" in the New Testament shows that we can have lusts that are good and right, and also lusts that are wrong. What matters is whether we desire something that is forbidden or not, and the proportion of our desires to loving and obeying God.

Sexual lust as I understand it is sexual coveting. The rule to follow here is Matthew 5:28. The Lord doesn't frown on desiring our spouses sexually at all. He wants married couples to be turned on to each other! The only time when this could possibly be a problem would be if this (like any other good thing) became idolatry.

See your reply gets at a key issue. I really feel many femmes or guys will be misled by the phrase "lusting after marriage". Its idolatry that might be a problem but there is nothign wrong with having a deep desire for somethign godly and upright. Now letting something be so desirous (for a godly upright marriage, for a particular material item, for a particular honest and upright project to work out) to the point that that God gets put in the 'back seat'--yeah that might touch upon idolatry. But what "lusting after marriage" even seems to suggest just has made me wonder if it could put hideous legalistic weights on people making them think that its wrong to want something godly. I think the writers who use the term "lusting after marriage" should just have called it 'idolizing a desire to be married'. I mean I think it would bve sad to think some poor girl is thinking its wrong not only to sleep around but ALSO wrong to get married? I mean think about the mental dichotomy that has to cause! I saw it recently in someone who was taught it was wrong to desire marriage--but her real problem was she wasn't seeing the blessings she had and she was putting the one she wanted on too high of a pedestal and even he corrected her for that and told her that if they were to be in a relationship she need to be relying on God first an foremost.