BigToe Checking In For Duty (3)

[BigToe]

you are a quick question-answerer! do you want more?

When I don't want to answer questions, I'll take a break.

 

[BigToe]

Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? I didn't realize there were lots of Lincoln impersonators nor that they sounded the same. But then, I didn't know we didn't know what he sounded like either. Perhaps they all sound the same because it's more easily identifiable as being Lincoln if they all do it the same way.

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. because people are hypocritical in nature. they like things to be the way that is most convenient to them at the time. and that might change moment to moment.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. they lay cadbury eggs.

When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? i think they do.

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? perhaps they were made of marble before

 

[BigToe]

If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? I think down until you get halfway then it would be up again.I think down is towards the center and up is towards the crust.

Could you be a closet claustrophobic? sure, if you don't tell anyone you're claustrophobic. Luckily being in the closet about something isn't literal.

Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? I suppose they could, and I don't know. Perhaps just make them aware of it and cut back.

If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? I think it depends on whom you ask. I don't like ketchup most of the time on anything. My sister likes it on mashed potatoes. I think it is a texture thing.

Where do all the daylight savings hours go? to arizona, where they don't observe it.

 

[BigToe]

Can you slam a revolving door? I guess, that would just make it spin really really fast. I think that gets the same dramatic appeal as a slam.

If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? because sticky is best. where else would he keep his honey? it would ooze everywhere if not in a jar.

Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? because it gets squeezed out and then squished together in a packet which acts as a good shake.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? maybe the first day they were sold.

Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts?! I think it is for the idiots that are adults and still take children's tylenol because it is cheaper.

 

[BigToe]

If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? I think if there is enough light for the night vision goggles to work, then you'd be able to look in a mirror too.

What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? a legume.

Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic? because it sounds good

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? i guess you bwink.

Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers? maybe dandelions take over an area more easily and more often than do daisies.

 

[lmarie23]

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?

 

[lmarie23]

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

Shouldn't it be, "Some things in moderation"?

Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?


Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?



Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?


Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?


Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?


If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?


Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor?

 

[lmarie23]

How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings?

Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse?

If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them?

Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?

If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?

 

[Pats]

Where do you get those flashy signs that say *new* to put in your post?

 

[lmarie23]

Where do you get those flashy signs that say *new* to put in your post?

I got them from the same site I get most of my questions.... and I don't want to reveal the site

but you can copy them by right-clicking and hitting copy

 

[BigToe]

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? only hypothetically

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? because monkeys, apes and humans evolved from a common ancestor but we adapted different traits to where we developed into different creatures.

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? the people placing those signs cheat and see where the deer like to cross first and then put the signs there.

What was the best thing before sliced bread? unsliced bread

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? probably been very unproductive

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? Mister Sylvester Lisp's son.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks? how do you think toothpicks were invented?

 

[BigToe]

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour? because sleeping like a rock means you never wake up

Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America? because it is hard enough to get people to listen to two candidates talk about the same thing over and over but really easy to get people to want to watch 50 pretty ladies.

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing? because sometimes you also have to rethaw

Shouldn't it be, "Some things in moderation"? nope, everything in moderation. if you only moderate something, others will just go crazy with power.

Why aren't there bullet-proof pants? i guess protecting our knees isn't a priority like protecting our hearts.

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? because maybe they're just being sensitive that day.


Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?because they don't want you to think the winners are cheating so those who aren't psychic will still buy tickets with hopes of being lucky.


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? puberty didn't hit


If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? it's an interactive play so your audience is sitting on stage too.



Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? nope, they drink tea, celestial seasonings.


Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? no, they're bovinely hungry


Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one? because it comes with a set of knobs and a remote you get to lose in your couch.

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? double zero.


If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? no, they get space madness.


Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor? no, they're just semi-unemployed.

 

[BigToe]

How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings? because tv is fake

Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse? i didn't know it meant things get worse too. that sounds like the wrong side of the hill to go down.

If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them? because he likes to sue them for faulty products.

Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing? because it's hip to be square

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread? because you're weird

Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"? only if you can legally handle the way your kid will be made fun of for having that name

If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads? no, but you might get on the news!

 

[BigToe]

Where do you get those flashy signs that say *new* to put in your post?

lynne posted them and i just quoted her.

 

[BigToe]

I got them from the same site I get most of my questions.... and I don't want to reveal the site

but you can copy them by right-clicking and hitting copy

you do realize you can figure it out where they came from without you telling right? Just right clicking on the image and selecting view image gets you the link used to post them and then you can go to the rest of the site....

 

[*Starlight*]

are you sleeping now?

 

[Macrina]

Do you like surprises?

Thing you like most about yourself?

Would you ever date a celebrity?

What would life be like without the internet?

Weirdest thing you've ever done?

Wisest choice you ever made?

Fill in the blank: "One object it would be a tragedy to lose is my _____."

 

[lmarie23]

you do realize you can figure it out where they came from without you telling right? Just right clicking on the image and selecting view image gets you the link used to post them and then you can go to the rest of the site....

aw darn it! you found out my site.....

 

[lmarie23]

If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?

Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?

Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?

 

[BigToe]

are you sleeping now?

Not at this moment, but I was when you asked that question.