Any tips for being married while in school? Being young and married? Anything anyone has learned from experiance? It would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
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Tips for being married in college???
- Thread starter GoWhereYOUsendme
- Start date
Any tips for being married while in school? Being young and married? Anything anyone has learned from experiance? It would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
My fiance and I are both 21, I will be 22 when we get married. I will have a year and half left of college and he will have 2 more years. I don't know many people in a situation like ours, so it would be great to hear from people that are or maybe know someone who is
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...butterfly...
(¯`•¸·´¯) Blessed Bride (¯`•¸·´¯)
Yes indeed. It would be fantastic to hear about other peoples married college student experiences. My fiance' will be 19 (1 month shy of 20) and I'll still be 21 when we get married...we're moving and going to university together!
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littlemrs
Guest
I'm another who is getting married while still in college. Hubby & I will both be 19, a couple months shy of 20, when we marry in May. We know things will be difficult at first, but we are both responsible with money and are willing to make sacrifices in terms of spending.
Tips, advice, etc. greatly welcomed here, as well!
Tips, advice, etc. greatly welcomed here, as well!
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Nobility
Guest
PRAY pray pray pray and talk talk talk talk talk... you get it??
It's not easy, and that's just speaking from a fiancee viewpoint (I did it engaged (only i was doing a course)) but both of you, and married... ouch.
Ok advice.
If you have to get a job, make sure its same day and same times to maxamise times together. Study at the same time, and preferably NOT together (more time together when you aren't distracted is better). Discuss your worries/fears and accomplishments. and accept the fact that money will be tight, time will be tight, and you'll struggle.
God bless you all.
It's not easy, and that's just speaking from a fiancee viewpoint (I did it engaged (only i was doing a course)) but both of you, and married... ouch.
Ok advice.
If you have to get a job, make sure its same day and same times to maxamise times together. Study at the same time, and preferably NOT together (more time together when you aren't distracted is better). Discuss your worries/fears and accomplishments. and accept the fact that money will be tight, time will be tight, and you'll struggle.
God bless you all.
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littlemrs
Guest
Oh yeah, I definitely second this advice to at least attempt to make your work/school schedules align in this way. I was very close to having to work 3p-11p when I started my new job, which would have been terrible for us since he works 8a-4:30p. It all worked out, praise God, and I am working 7a-3:30p, so our schedules work out pretty much perfectly.
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morningstar84
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Interesting topic! We've been engaged for all of my senior year in college. We're getting married early this summer, and then moving to wherever he accepts to go to graduate school. So, he'll be in school and working, and I'll be working. It'll be interesting - I'm holding out for an 8-4 job, so that we'll be able to spend our evenings together. We both realize that finances will be tight for a while, but we're used to that anyway, so it won't be a huge change (other than getting to see each other every day!!).
We both realize that finances will be tight for a while, but we're used to that anyway, so it won't be a huge change (other than getting to see each other every day!!).
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ChildofLight85
Strawberry Angel
My fiance and I are both 21, and I will be 22 for a week and then we will get married. I am in school, and will have 1 yr and a half left, and he is working full time. i also work part-time. we're expecting for things (time and money) to be tight as well. advice would be great.
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Weasel7711
I'm in love with a bunnymedic!
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heres the best tip
Any tips for being married while in school? Being young and married? Anything anyone has learned from experiance? It would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
wait till you graduate
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Maramixi
Happy caffine addict
Why exactally do you think that way?
Waiting and wating and waiting only makes it more difficult to remain pure, especially when you already know that you are going to get married anyway.
I'm not trying to get confrontational; I just really don't get this kind of mentality and no one will explain it to me with anything more than "it's too hard."
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littlemrs
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I think these kinds of comments are entirely uncalled for and out of place in this thread. Sorry, but this is a huge pet peeve of mine. What makes someone more equipped for marriage just because they are out of college? There's still sometimes instability, and entry level jobs aren't always the greatest and don't always pay the most.
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Weasel7711
I'm in love with a bunnymedic!
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I'm not saying it as the word of God, I'm saying it as opinion, so please do not take it as judgment
The best advice I can give is wait until you are out of school and your husband can support you with a decent job. If you are both full time students, how are you going to make it with 2 part time jobs? I'm not saying that everything will be magically perfect once you graduate, but you have eliminated a huge stress (school). From all of the married couples i have talked to (one who have been married for a great many years) I can say that they ALL say that it is best to wait until you are done with school. You wont have to fight (as much) over finances and you will have more time to devote to each other.
Well what if we both work and go to school? How much time will you be able to spend alone getting to know each other if you both work and go to school full time? What are you going to do if one of you gets pregnant? One of you will have to drop out of school and get a full time job, possibly two, to support a child AND a spouse in school. Plus, you as a woman wont be able to work while your child is young and you definitely wont be able to focus on school with a newborn baby, so your husband will have to work full time.
Well we just wont have kids for a few years. So you say, but I'm sure you wont be holding off sex for more than a few hours after you say "I do" and birth control is never 100% effective. Just ask my sister, who had two kids using birth control AND condoms.
Its hard to wait but it may be for the best. If you can wait until school is done, you will knock out at least one headache.
I apologize if I offended anyone here, that was not my intention.
The best advice I can give is wait until you are out of school and your husband can support you with a decent job. If you are both full time students, how are you going to make it with 2 part time jobs? I'm not saying that everything will be magically perfect once you graduate, but you have eliminated a huge stress (school). From all of the married couples i have talked to (one who have been married for a great many years) I can say that they ALL say that it is best to wait until you are done with school. You wont have to fight (as much) over finances and you will have more time to devote to each other.
Well what if we both work and go to school? How much time will you be able to spend alone getting to know each other if you both work and go to school full time? What are you going to do if one of you gets pregnant? One of you will have to drop out of school and get a full time job, possibly two, to support a child AND a spouse in school. Plus, you as a woman wont be able to work while your child is young and you definitely wont be able to focus on school with a newborn baby, so your husband will have to work full time.
Well we just wont have kids for a few years. So you say, but I'm sure you wont be holding off sex for more than a few hours after you say "I do" and birth control is never 100% effective. Just ask my sister, who had two kids using birth control AND condoms.
Its hard to wait but it may be for the best. If you can wait until school is done, you will knock out at least one headache.
I apologize if I offended anyone here, that was not my intention.
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Weasel7711
I'm in love with a bunnymedic!
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I just realized I just jumped into a field of landmines...
:: slowly retraces his steps ::
:: slowly retraces his steps ::
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kiora
Senior Member
yikes !!! so your husband can support you and as the woman you will have to stay at home when the child is young.
these are the sort of comments that make me annoyed, why should my FH support me anymore than I should support him and why should I stay at home while he goes out to work ?
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Weasel7711
I'm in love with a bunnymedic!
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And God forbid a husband work to support his wife!
So you are going to go back to work when your child is 2 months old??
Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship, but partners have different roles.
Im not saying she has to be tied to the kitchen and the house until the kid is in high school but at least be there while the child needs the mother in order to learn the relational skills necessary to function as an adult. Did you pay attention during psychology?
I hate women's lib... with a burning passion
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kiora
Senior Member
hm... and I am very much for womens liberation
If I ever do have children (which at the moment I don't want because I want to work 100% at my career) then I will take my 6 months maternity leave which is fully paid in most jobs here in the UK and then I would return to work. Hence why I have no desire to have children. But if I did it is envisaged that my FH would be the main carer during the day.
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kiora
Senior Member
well in my case I will have graduated when I get married. I will be doing an intensive postgraduate certificate in Education (for those not in UK that is basically teacher training) We get a grant for doing this in the UK so it actually owrks out that I will take home more than my FH.
For me , despite what you think it is not all about SEX, although I recognise that you are entitled to your opinion. It is about sharing the whole fo my life instead of 70% of it with the person I am in love with. Why not wait another year ? what I am waiting for ? is my answer. Life is too short
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