Where Do I Go From Here? I Feel Stuck

Dear friend who may never ever read this, I know I can't change you or fix you or any circumstances you're dealing with. Depression has stolen your joy and hope for the future as I've observed these past few years. As your friend of 3 years of being a listening ear, of letting you express yourself, of being there for you, of staying up late just to keep you company.. I'm starting to crack. I'm starting to feel something that I used to feel on a daily basis back before giving my life to Christ. I get it. I used to have depression. I know what it's truly like. By God's grace and me allowing Him to heal me from that and work in my heart and mind, i was able to get free. I feel like i crawled down that same hole with you to point you to Christ, our Hope and Healer. I feel like none of my attempts help you. I understand how depression affects our outlook in life and our thoughts. Its consuming.. it's hard to get out of. I wish i made a difference. I feel the need to climb out of that hole sometimes just to find myself again. To see the vast and open world of beauty and hope. I need my space sometimes. I'm finding it hard to go down that hole again and sit beside you in it. Im finding that if i sit down there with you long enough, that hole will get harder for me to climb out of. Im starting to feel stressed out. Im starting to feel the hole closing in. Im starting to get anxiety. I'm starting to feel that i cant help you at all. That I'm the one who needs help sometimes. I kind of want to leave that hole permanently. I feel miserable to think such thoughts. I feel like the worst friend sometimes. I feel like I need to leave and let God be God and Savior in your life. I feel like God has been showing me that I've become your 'god' as you look to me as your source of comfort, joy, healing. I am none of those things. Im sorry for standing in the way. I'm sorry I didnt realize it. I'm sorry that out friendship has become unhealthy to the point where I feel it necessary to leave. You may feel angry that Im letting our friendship go. You may feel like I abandoned you that I was never your friend. I feel like 3 years was more than enough to stay. I can only take so much until your burden becomes mine, until i am feeling weighed down to the point of feeling suffocated. I try to say encouraging things only to be shut down with negative and bleak replies. I get it. I am familiar with depression. I just never knew how hard it was to be on the other side of it and how it's affected me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I have become the rock in our friendship when all along it should have been Jesus. This rock is starting to crumble. I hope you understand. You may never see this. I feel helpless, drained, sad and angry that depreasion seems to keep you bound every single day. I'm so sorry but I feel it's necessary to bow out. I know i cant fix you. I kmow i cant change you or your circumstances. I'm just going to let our friendship fade. I dont think i can simply say im leaving. Just know that i still care from a distance while i try to climb out of my own hole and walk in faith and trust that God will do His part and see you through yours.