I woke up from another nightmare, the fight or flight response is wearing off...
I just don't understand why I keep experiencing this, my life is a bit better...as I have a job and what not...
I did feel down today because I'm not progressing in life as fast as others and just feel stunted. And feel giving may be easier sometimes.
One example, I've been trying to get my license since 2016... I've been asking my parents but things always come up. My dad left for trucking so he can't do iy, my mom works so much so she is so tired its impossible to get her up. So I just end up watching her sleep ,after attempting to get her up and her being unresponsive. My older brother has no license so I can't depend on him , my extended family have their own lives and wouldn't do it, I asked my grandma recent, like last week, she said shed do it..but the day off she flakes on me and hasn't called me back since.
While my other friend was in an accident that messed up her feet, she's recovering, it took her months to recover mind you...and she drives more than I do and will probably get her license before I do... And no one will teach me to drive.
Even when my dad comes home, he says he'll do it but doesnt, my mom won't let me... I keep asking her to parallel park but she won't help ...I don't know why.
Then she complains about my lack of driving...and its just so frustrating that I want to cry. I'm trying and I keep reminding them..but they won't do it,,
I'm so afraid I won't pass my road test when I take it, if I take it, because I have drove in months.
My parents expect me to learn how to become a good driver in 3 session drives months apart.... That's ridiculous.
It bothers me because I have the ambition to do things but I can't,this is what I mean by obstacles...
I was so down because today was such a beautiful day and i hate spending it in doors, my mom had the lights all off to save on light bill,,, I understand but its a bit depressing.. To come home to a dark house...
So I tried to be productive and work out and lose weight and be in the sun,,so I did just that. I hate when people assume I'm not trying because I am...I really am... I just don't have enough help.
Then I worry about never having friends or meeting the love or my life because in so stagnant and not by choice... There's a world out their I'm trying to get out to... And it seems the more I try the more hurdles pop up that I have to jump over...
I'm trying to stay hopeful, I really am...I just want my life to change..because I'm trying hard to change it.
I'm trying hard to be the person I want to be, to be a valuable person of quality and substance and its like something is holding me back.
*sigh*
I just don't understand why I keep experiencing this, my life is a bit better...as I have a job and what not...
I did feel down today because I'm not progressing in life as fast as others and just feel stunted. And feel giving may be easier sometimes.
One example, I've been trying to get my license since 2016... I've been asking my parents but things always come up. My dad left for trucking so he can't do iy, my mom works so much so she is so tired its impossible to get her up. So I just end up watching her sleep ,after attempting to get her up and her being unresponsive. My older brother has no license so I can't depend on him , my extended family have their own lives and wouldn't do it, I asked my grandma recent, like last week, she said shed do it..but the day off she flakes on me and hasn't called me back since.
While my other friend was in an accident that messed up her feet, she's recovering, it took her months to recover mind you...and she drives more than I do and will probably get her license before I do... And no one will teach me to drive.
Even when my dad comes home, he says he'll do it but doesnt, my mom won't let me... I keep asking her to parallel park but she won't help ...I don't know why.
Then she complains about my lack of driving...and its just so frustrating that I want to cry. I'm trying and I keep reminding them..but they won't do it,,
I'm so afraid I won't pass my road test when I take it, if I take it, because I have drove in months.
My parents expect me to learn how to become a good driver in 3 session drives months apart.... That's ridiculous.
It bothers me because I have the ambition to do things but I can't,this is what I mean by obstacles...
I was so down because today was such a beautiful day and i hate spending it in doors, my mom had the lights all off to save on light bill,,, I understand but its a bit depressing.. To come home to a dark house...
So I tried to be productive and work out and lose weight and be in the sun,,so I did just that. I hate when people assume I'm not trying because I am...I really am... I just don't have enough help.
Then I worry about never having friends or meeting the love or my life because in so stagnant and not by choice... There's a world out their I'm trying to get out to... And it seems the more I try the more hurdles pop up that I have to jump over...
I'm trying to stay hopeful, I really am...I just want my life to change..because I'm trying hard to change it.
I'm trying hard to be the person I want to be, to be a valuable person of quality and substance and its like something is holding me back.
*sigh*
