This year I need to start something different.
I need to focus on myself. It has come to my attention that I live a pretty co-dependent life. I use others to get praise and accolades. I know that I've been going through a lot -- but there is no need to take it out on others. I need to find an effective release that I can take these negative feelings and get them out while not taking them out on the people around me. The people that are trying to help me see what's going on.
It has been a very long year. A lot of negative things have happened in 2017. Then again, there were definitely some positives this year as well. I met Renee and was accepted by her and her family. The divorce proceedings have taken it's toll on me. I don't think I know how it's affecting me and how to get the feelings out. I think that starting this in a journal format will be able to at least let me know in some way what these feelings are and how they are affecting me.
Every new year you always see the phrase -- new year, new me. I have to make sure that's the case with me. I'm not happy and I drag the people who care about me down as well. They already have their own problems to deal with.
I was recently told that I need to focus on myself and making myself better. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, but I know that the answer lies in turning back toward the Bible and God. Ever since I completed my pastoral internship and my Masters degree in Divinity -- I think I've been turning and facing the wrong way. I need to get my life in order and to do that I need to trust in God. I really need to think of Eph 4:29 in my dealings with others too. I should not speak and words to tear people down but only to build others up. I was told that I lack confidence because I don't tell my ex what I really think. However, on that, I strongly disagree. I think it shows a great deal of strength to not speak negatively to someone like that. However, I need to ensure that my feelings toward my ex are not taken out on those that are trying to help me through this situation.
There are a few goals that I want to accomplish this year. I'm not going to call them resolutions as I think that these should be a journey and that they're not going to be a quick fix -- and there is not a quick solution to these goals.
Goals:
1.) To be a better man
2.) To become a better father
-- With this goal, I think I've spent so much time trying to be there for Ryleigh and Elijah that I've forgotten that I'm their father -- and not just their friend. I get to spend so little time with them that I think I've changed and tried just to make them happy. While that is part of it, I have to remember that they need guidance and discipline as well. I can't simply choose to be their friend. I have to be their Dad as well.
3.) To work on getting into shape
-- I am not in terrible shape, but there are definitely steps and things that I can do to work toward a better goal.
4.) To be a better partner
-- This goal is really tied into the first goal. I need to focus on myself so that I can use my strengths to help build up the people around me and the people that I love. I can't do that how I am now -- I'm only serving to start arguments and to push others away.
5.) Other goals that I haven't though of yet.
Hopefully this will be the first small steps toward working on a better me this year.
I need to focus on myself. It has come to my attention that I live a pretty co-dependent life. I use others to get praise and accolades. I know that I've been going through a lot -- but there is no need to take it out on others. I need to find an effective release that I can take these negative feelings and get them out while not taking them out on the people around me. The people that are trying to help me see what's going on.
It has been a very long year. A lot of negative things have happened in 2017. Then again, there were definitely some positives this year as well. I met Renee and was accepted by her and her family. The divorce proceedings have taken it's toll on me. I don't think I know how it's affecting me and how to get the feelings out. I think that starting this in a journal format will be able to at least let me know in some way what these feelings are and how they are affecting me.
Every new year you always see the phrase -- new year, new me. I have to make sure that's the case with me. I'm not happy and I drag the people who care about me down as well. They already have their own problems to deal with.
I was recently told that I need to focus on myself and making myself better. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, but I know that the answer lies in turning back toward the Bible and God. Ever since I completed my pastoral internship and my Masters degree in Divinity -- I think I've been turning and facing the wrong way. I need to get my life in order and to do that I need to trust in God. I really need to think of Eph 4:29 in my dealings with others too. I should not speak and words to tear people down but only to build others up. I was told that I lack confidence because I don't tell my ex what I really think. However, on that, I strongly disagree. I think it shows a great deal of strength to not speak negatively to someone like that. However, I need to ensure that my feelings toward my ex are not taken out on those that are trying to help me through this situation.
There are a few goals that I want to accomplish this year. I'm not going to call them resolutions as I think that these should be a journey and that they're not going to be a quick fix -- and there is not a quick solution to these goals.
Goals:
1.) To be a better man
2.) To become a better father
-- With this goal, I think I've spent so much time trying to be there for Ryleigh and Elijah that I've forgotten that I'm their father -- and not just their friend. I get to spend so little time with them that I think I've changed and tried just to make them happy. While that is part of it, I have to remember that they need guidance and discipline as well. I can't simply choose to be their friend. I have to be their Dad as well.
3.) To work on getting into shape
-- I am not in terrible shape, but there are definitely steps and things that I can do to work toward a better goal.
4.) To be a better partner
-- This goal is really tied into the first goal. I need to focus on myself so that I can use my strengths to help build up the people around me and the people that I love. I can't do that how I am now -- I'm only serving to start arguments and to push others away.
5.) Other goals that I haven't though of yet.
Hopefully this will be the first small steps toward working on a better me this year.
