One thing that is constant with time is change. The way we do many things continue to change, sometimes its deliberately and sometimes the global shifts in technology, society etc leave us no choice but to change. Change is often a positive thing.
One of the areas that has seen big changes and continues to change is the way we 'do' Relationships. Moving from an era where only men were allowed by society to pursue women, to an era where women pursue men without flinching ( another topic altogether). Bottom line, our relationships are changing whatever your relationship status.
Having said that, here are what I have realised to be the Top 3 reasons why many people stay single. I found these in my research, talking to people, reflecting on my past relationships etc.
1) Fear
Many people stay single out of fear. This can be fear of rejection, fear of change ( a relationships brings change to your priorities), fear that if I love can the other person love me like the way I love them?? These are some of the fears to just name a few. Past experiences often leave a dent in people's souls to the extent that some made up their minds a long time ago with such utterances such as, " I will never marry again". Sometimes, " I will never trust a man/ woman again". Its reality, people do get hurt and the journey to recovery can often be longer than expected. So those experiences will need healing before the fear can be eradicted. These are only, just a few of some of the fears.
2) Set in their ways.
Yes, some people are just set in their ways. This can be to the point that they are not willing to make the necessary adjustments to accomodate the new found love. Some will often be patient but people are smart enough to realise that, "mmm, i thought he/she was hot but he/she is set in his/her ways". This often comes after someone has tried everything but realised that this individual continues to live and behave like they are still single whilst in a relationship, it doesn't work. Other bit is some people are so used to rejection to the point that they can find it difficult to handle someone who genuinely loves them or likes them. Suspicion trickles in and the relationship goes south!!!
3) Being too comfortable with Singleness
This is often common for many people who haven't been dating or been in a relationship for a long time. They have reached a point where being single is their normal, ( I'm not suggesting that there is anything wrong with being deliberately single!!!) so being in a relationship can seem to take away a long list of things. Rather than focus on the many benefits of what a relationship brings or much better the joys that the other person can potentially bring, people can focus on what they are missing when they enter a relationship. In other words, being single is so comfortable to them to the point that even if they say they want a relationship, deep down what they really want is to be single because of what they already have ( this could be their independence, time etc). So unless a person brings themselves to alignment with whats really happening on the inside or what they really want deep down then its difficult if not impossible to manifest the relationship, dates (which can potentially turn into a good and loving relationship). So in another words being in a relationship is a bit 'uncomfy' for them because it 'takes away' things as opposed to looking at the benefits. So being single is what they are comfortable with, so without digging deep to find out what is it that makes them feel 'uncomfy' about a relationship, then it can be often difficult to bring alignment between the utterance of wanting a relationship and really really really actually wanting it from the inside out.
As a courtesy note, you are welcome to check out my Award Winning Ebook, Uncommon Destiny Uncommon Partner on this link, just copy and paste it :Christian Ebooks
With love,
Vhikai, Wis
One of the areas that has seen big changes and continues to change is the way we 'do' Relationships. Moving from an era where only men were allowed by society to pursue women, to an era where women pursue men without flinching ( another topic altogether). Bottom line, our relationships are changing whatever your relationship status.
Having said that, here are what I have realised to be the Top 3 reasons why many people stay single. I found these in my research, talking to people, reflecting on my past relationships etc.
1) Fear
Many people stay single out of fear. This can be fear of rejection, fear of change ( a relationships brings change to your priorities), fear that if I love can the other person love me like the way I love them?? These are some of the fears to just name a few. Past experiences often leave a dent in people's souls to the extent that some made up their minds a long time ago with such utterances such as, " I will never marry again". Sometimes, " I will never trust a man/ woman again". Its reality, people do get hurt and the journey to recovery can often be longer than expected. So those experiences will need healing before the fear can be eradicted. These are only, just a few of some of the fears.
2) Set in their ways.
Yes, some people are just set in their ways. This can be to the point that they are not willing to make the necessary adjustments to accomodate the new found love. Some will often be patient but people are smart enough to realise that, "mmm, i thought he/she was hot but he/she is set in his/her ways". This often comes after someone has tried everything but realised that this individual continues to live and behave like they are still single whilst in a relationship, it doesn't work. Other bit is some people are so used to rejection to the point that they can find it difficult to handle someone who genuinely loves them or likes them. Suspicion trickles in and the relationship goes south!!!
3) Being too comfortable with Singleness
This is often common for many people who haven't been dating or been in a relationship for a long time. They have reached a point where being single is their normal, ( I'm not suggesting that there is anything wrong with being deliberately single!!!) so being in a relationship can seem to take away a long list of things. Rather than focus on the many benefits of what a relationship brings or much better the joys that the other person can potentially bring, people can focus on what they are missing when they enter a relationship. In other words, being single is so comfortable to them to the point that even if they say they want a relationship, deep down what they really want is to be single because of what they already have ( this could be their independence, time etc). So unless a person brings themselves to alignment with whats really happening on the inside or what they really want deep down then its difficult if not impossible to manifest the relationship, dates (which can potentially turn into a good and loving relationship). So in another words being in a relationship is a bit 'uncomfy' for them because it 'takes away' things as opposed to looking at the benefits. So being single is what they are comfortable with, so without digging deep to find out what is it that makes them feel 'uncomfy' about a relationship, then it can be often difficult to bring alignment between the utterance of wanting a relationship and really really really actually wanting it from the inside out.
As a courtesy note, you are welcome to check out my Award Winning Ebook, Uncommon Destiny Uncommon Partner on this link, just copy and paste it :Christian Ebooks
With love,
Vhikai, Wis
