reflecting

So friday I sat on the couch and looked at my wall of pictures that had been taken 9 or more years ago to present day. Some where of my husband and his family before I knew him, the rest were of our lives together since we started dating. As I looked at each of those, it brought back the memories of what we were doing, where we were and the atmosphere we were in. Some of them were a little shady and not so memerable, I couldn't remember if the smile was just a pose for the camera or if the camera capture the smile.
I just sat in that same old spot on the coutch and contiplated if I would ever be as happy as I was in that photo or this photo or even that one. What had happened to bring me to such a derastically different place than I was back then. Will I forever have to pretended to be happy and pose a smile for lifes every day situations? Guess only time will tell.