Quality V Quantity

One thing that has become de rigor is the constant cry that what children need is quality time, not quantity time. This has become a mantra ever since mothers have been going out to work full time and leaving children to the care of others.

Despite the fact that scripture exhorts us to bring up our children so that they will not depart from the way you have taught them, we still believe the way of man that as long as you give them an hour of quality time (whatever that is) you don't have to worry about the hours you don't give them.

As long as you believe this you don't have to justify leaving someone else to bring up your children most of the day.

Do you really believe that spending one hour a day of so-called "quality time" will undo the 8 hours of quantity time that others have to affect your child's values and beliefs?

I hear all the time that parents who have given over the raising of their children to surrogate parents claim the child has not suffered as a result. How do they know if the child has not been raised full time by themselves so they can make a comparison?

A long time ago, I read the result of research into children raised by their parents and children raised by surrogate parents in childcare centres. it showed that children raised by parents performed better than children raised by surrogate parents.

It is sad to say that these sort of facts are ignored by the church so the children are denied a Christian parental upbringing the same as children in the world are denied a parental upbringing. I guess giving from two parents to the church is better than giving from one income.

Having worked in the Christian School system, you would not believe the number of mothers who are teachers take a year off to have and care for their baby and then come back to work and give the care of their child to a heathen.

How is that fair to the child? Having spent a year bonding with its mother they are then whisked away to the care of foreigners.

I remember a Christian lady that provided home care for children and there was a couple who dropped their children off at 7.30 in the morning and picked them up again at 5.30pm in the evening five days a week. The end result was that the children called the Christian lady mummy and their parents auntie and uncle.

Nowhere in the bible do you find an injunction that if you provide the so-called quality time you are not obliged to provide quantity time to your children. If children are a blessing from the Lord and they are, why give that blessing away to others?

When all is said and done, you only have your children on average for the first 20 years of their life. After that, they fly the nest and are seen only occasionally in comparison. Why then would we pass the raising of them to someone else?

There are two main reasons why parents do this. They get in over their heads financially so they say they have to have two incomes. The simple answer is to not get in over their heads financially so they do not need two incomes.

My wife and I chose that route so we spent quality and quality time with our children. They were never left with surrogate parents at any time.

The other reason is that their career is more important than their children. You always prioritize what is important to you. You often hear mothers say that they could not cope being home all day looking after children so they have to send them to childcare so they can further their career.

So the question is "Why have children that you don't really want." if you really wanted them you would devote yourself to raising them in the ways of the Lord.

From this perspective, I note that the homeschooling movement is being fuelled by Christian parents who inculcate their children's values and beliefs themselves full time. And I note that homeschooled children educationally perform better than those educated in formal schooling.

So when you hear someone talking about "quality time" for their children don't fall for it. Your child deserves quality time all the time, not just when it suits you and the more they get the better the outcomes.

Blog entry information

Author
Episaw
Read time
3 min read
Views
641
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from Episaw

  • Neither Man Or Beast
    I watched a programme on TV last week and I can't get it out of my...
  • Common Denominator
    What do all these countries have in common and the list is not...
  • Talking To Dad
    You probably have been told like me that one is supposed to as a...
  • Miserable Men
    If you have read my blog about selfish women who become single mothers...
  • Anything Goes
    I don’t know if you have noticed it but the thing today is anything...

Share this entry