Not doing good today. The voices in my head are bothering me all day long. They tell me about how I will die in the future. I'm going to die in a horrible way and there is no way to prevent it. I feel like I deserve it anyway for being an awful person.
Today I helped at church with my mom for the Thanksgiving meal. I didn't do much because I hurt my arm a week ago. I need to get an X-ray of my wrist and my forearm to see if it is broken or if there is a fracture.
All day long the voices bother me. They keep telling me to do something that I don't want to do. They say that the only way to save myself is to do what they tell me, but I really don't want to do what they tell me to do.
I think they are right though. If I don't do what they say, I will die in a horrible way. I feel like it is all my fault for being bad. I also made fun of Jesus. They say I will have a horrible death because I made fun of Jesus.
Anyway, I don't think there is anything I can do. The voice in my head has predicted the future before and he is predicting I will die in a horrible way and go to hell. The voice says I will be in a coffin forever and that is hell for me. He says the coffin is under my house and I have to dig it up in order to save myself. My parents have forbidden me to dig under the house in the crawlspace and I don't like it down there anyway. Still, the voices laugh at me and dare me to save myself. They say I'm like Jesus because I won't save myself from a horrible fate. I'm not like Jesus though. I won't save myself not because I want to help other people. I won't save myself because I'm too afraid to do it. I'm too afraid to do what it takes to save myself, and that is the truth.
So I'm doomed. I wish there was a way out but I feel like I blew it. I thought that Jesus once said he loved me, but after saying some bad words about him he said that loving me was a mistake. Jesus will send me to hell because I am a bad person and I blasphemed against him.
The voice in my head laughs at me all day long. He dares me to save myself because he knows I'm too afraid to do it. He just enjoys laughing at me. I wish God would save me, but the good voice in my head says "What can you do if God hates you?" They tell me God hates me because I'm a bad person, and God will never save me.
Today I helped at church with my mom for the Thanksgiving meal. I didn't do much because I hurt my arm a week ago. I need to get an X-ray of my wrist and my forearm to see if it is broken or if there is a fracture.
All day long the voices bother me. They keep telling me to do something that I don't want to do. They say that the only way to save myself is to do what they tell me, but I really don't want to do what they tell me to do.
I think they are right though. If I don't do what they say, I will die in a horrible way. I feel like it is all my fault for being bad. I also made fun of Jesus. They say I will have a horrible death because I made fun of Jesus.
Anyway, I don't think there is anything I can do. The voice in my head has predicted the future before and he is predicting I will die in a horrible way and go to hell. The voice says I will be in a coffin forever and that is hell for me. He says the coffin is under my house and I have to dig it up in order to save myself. My parents have forbidden me to dig under the house in the crawlspace and I don't like it down there anyway. Still, the voices laugh at me and dare me to save myself. They say I'm like Jesus because I won't save myself from a horrible fate. I'm not like Jesus though. I won't save myself not because I want to help other people. I won't save myself because I'm too afraid to do it. I'm too afraid to do what it takes to save myself, and that is the truth.
So I'm doomed. I wish there was a way out but I feel like I blew it. I thought that Jesus once said he loved me, but after saying some bad words about him he said that loving me was a mistake. Jesus will send me to hell because I am a bad person and I blasphemed against him.
The voice in my head laughs at me all day long. He dares me to save myself because he knows I'm too afraid to do it. He just enjoys laughing at me. I wish God would save me, but the good voice in my head says "What can you do if God hates you?" They tell me God hates me because I'm a bad person, and God will never save me.
