~ Joy in WORKIN' OUT & a BigBanana

from Thursday, 4/30/09 posting:
Yesterday was fun, I met this guy:

His name is Spade. He was wonderful fun... you can see and feel it in him. I smiled and laughed a lot. He came into my Heaven, unexpectedly, and lit up my day ! He's building a BananaCar !! Thanks for that wonderful surprise, Jesus. I'm hooked. I'm watching his site to see how it all turns out. A new venture to cherish and pray for, Jesus. Bless them in their travel and introduce Yourself on their journey daily, for Your glory.

Had a bit of conversation re: my hopes to travel to India with PastorP, today. We might get a group discount on our flight arrangements. Please open doors and be apparent to me throughout the planning stages. You know how I am !

Spade was in India. He rode a motorcycle all over he said... What a character.

Well, I finally got back into my workout routine after a month long setback with a leg THANG. Been sprinting 4 miles, 3 times a week for about 3.5 weeks now. Doing an ab workout on 3 other days of the week... I feel GOOD ! I'm in the middle of humpweek, so I need to be particularly diligent for another week before the next level of burn sets off a jump in my energy again.

It's GOOD to work out. There really is NOTHING, except for sex, that gives me that 'high.' I need it SOOOOO bad. It kind of calibrates my whole alignment somehow. Thanks for that, Jesus.

The new deck is starting to be a blessing, already this year. Our first year with it. What a rush it is, too. And, even though we are taking care of PapaM more and more, the increase in energy that I get from excersizing seems to pull the weight of that, too.

On top of all that, and my job...it's gardening season. WHEW. Now talk about a workout. Finished mulching 13 beds, so far. About 7 to go before I start the annuals. Pretty much on schedule for the end of April.

Thanks for Boo, Jesus. He turned five in April. He seems to be in the midst of the 'terrible fives' or something. He has been so BAD, lately. Please ease his little swine heart and protect his little wee spirit from harm. We love or BooPiggyChops so much. He truly is a joy by the day, when he is a good boy, or even an ornery boy.... this BAD boy thing is new.... and UNWELCOME around here. So, bless him for us, Jesus. He's been a great brat of late.

Thanks so much for GR.

Healing from the 'unspoken one,' today. I can feel Your checks on my spirit when I drift. Thanks for that, Jesus. These songs came up on shuffle this morning on my MP3 player at work...
I never thought about them in relation to the emotional torment of recent past... yet, they fit, don't they? YOU know that... I'm beginning to. Then this one came up, too.... It's like the songs drew me through the place I've been forced to go against my will.

You want him, you need him
It's so hard to please him
You just don't dare
And inside you're burning
With some secret yearning
You must not care (still won't you)
Help me, i'm flawed, desperate
Angry with God
'cause he just won't care
Oh excuse me, you're mourning
How calloused and boring
I brush your hair
And see your face... empty smile...
I touch that place, and all the while...
(you know it won't stop)

So you make an excuse to confuse the issue
What makes you think that I'll care about you?
When you lay on the ground 'till he tells you he's through
ANd he'll do what he'll do
When he'll do it to you?

And all the while, he's been using you,
Yes, all the while... he's abusing you...
So it finally dawned on me yesterday morning,
I just can't stare
And swallow the words that your hero's perverted,
On what we share
I'll kill him, i'll beat him, the cycle's repeating,
I hold thin arrogance
Still won't you hold him and trust him
You love him so much
And he still won't care
To see your face...
With an empty smile...
'cause i touched that place on you...
And all the while...

She says it's "it's so good, when it's so good, if this is so good, then it's no good!"
If this is so good, everybody's so good, everybody's so good, when you're no good!

And all the while, he's been using you
Yes, all the while, he's abusing you
With your naked excuse you confuse your misuse
What makes you think I should care what he'll do?
If you lay on the ground 'til he tells you he's through
And he makes up your mind that that's what you should do
'cause all the while you've been using you
Yes, all the while you're abusing you...

He hurts you, mistreats you
Your own mind misleads you
You just won't care
When holes in your face
Can't be covered with makeup
You'll still stay there...

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Waiting for the rain, Jesus.