You know, I have been a part of Hubbs' family for four full decades. Yesterday, one of my best friends from 7th grade, his cousin E, threw a party for her son who is Class of 2009. I've known E's husband since I was 16, too, before she ever met him. Her sister, A, another of Hubb's cousins, introduced me and Hubbs in June of 1972. We have all, finally, grown closer again over the past 3 years, after both me and Hubbs left them all behind to recover from a lifestyle way too potent in substance abuse, divorce, physical abuse and incest. Life vs. death differences had drawn us all apart. Hubb's family has been very scattered by the coldness they often practice in anger, by the rampant substance abuse, that often is indicative of a poor ability to give and receive both love and anger ( I know that from my own recovery ), by the physical abuse and by the incest that has torn them all apart with secrets, cover-ups and family fractures, hiding, ducking and/or protecting perps.
There are many wounded family members in differing stages of falling or of getting up. It has been a very full four decades. There were four generations of family at the graduation party, even one 'bun' still in the oven. All manner of broken, mended, innocent, enduring, and forsaken hearts, minds and spirits were represented. I know WAY MORE than I am interested in knowing about many of their 'fallenesses.'( Is that a word, Jesus?) My heart goes out to them all.... for years !!! .... those present, those lost to death, to true loss of heart and spirit, to divorce or to the icy peaks of "let's-pretend-we-don't-care-mountain." The connections are so old and familiar and so riddled with the pain of knowing, and somehow there is still an abiding great joy for me... because Hubbs, he is one of the shiny survivors, along with a few of the others. Those of us who have survived seemed to be finding ourselves, off and on between the day's fun stuff, in little conferences about how we might help the stragglers to 'get up.' THANK YOU most humbly for the few little ones who have been spared, in these past two generations, from the deluge and FLOOD of crazed adults with little or no accountability in You, who once dominated this group. Bless them with fervent protection, Jesus. Empower their angels to be strong in opposition to the railing of the enemy, who tries to maintain a foothold in the group. His grip is failing and he is still coming SOOO hard for a win in a few branches of us. The innocence of family love is lost, still, for most of us. It is too often suspect, sheltered from view, or blatantly accompanied by inappropriate jokes in search of levity. From perps, fear-riddled survivors or over-zealous counselors 'who'd-rather-err-toward-caution,' the innocence of hugs and connections are tainted and marred into omission...or at the very least, suspicion, with some of us. Teknon, a case in point, mistrusts the love and connection we have formed in a bond created by You, often...( despite anointing in YOU ! ). There's just too much taint. I can remember what is real from pre-incest-family days. Most of these people have never-ever known what healthy boundaries and a lack of uber-focus on boundaries is about.
There was a day in the Victorian era, says C. S. Lewis in the book "The Four Loves," when philostorgos (family affection) vs. astorgos (without...), rivaled our love for God Himself.
"The Sixth Hour"
by ME, Shachah,
a/k/a Gabrielle Angelo ~~~^^
There are many wounded family members in differing stages of falling or of getting up. It has been a very full four decades. There were four generations of family at the graduation party, even one 'bun' still in the oven. All manner of broken, mended, innocent, enduring, and forsaken hearts, minds and spirits were represented. I know WAY MORE than I am interested in knowing about many of their 'fallenesses.'( Is that a word, Jesus?) My heart goes out to them all.... for years !!! .... those present, those lost to death, to true loss of heart and spirit, to divorce or to the icy peaks of "let's-pretend-we-don't-care-mountain." The connections are so old and familiar and so riddled with the pain of knowing, and somehow there is still an abiding great joy for me... because Hubbs, he is one of the shiny survivors, along with a few of the others. Those of us who have survived seemed to be finding ourselves, off and on between the day's fun stuff, in little conferences about how we might help the stragglers to 'get up.' THANK YOU most humbly for the few little ones who have been spared, in these past two generations, from the deluge and FLOOD of crazed adults with little or no accountability in You, who once dominated this group. Bless them with fervent protection, Jesus. Empower their angels to be strong in opposition to the railing of the enemy, who tries to maintain a foothold in the group. His grip is failing and he is still coming SOOO hard for a win in a few branches of us. The innocence of family love is lost, still, for most of us. It is too often suspect, sheltered from view, or blatantly accompanied by inappropriate jokes in search of levity. From perps, fear-riddled survivors or over-zealous counselors 'who'd-rather-err-toward-caution,' the innocence of hugs and connections are tainted and marred into omission...or at the very least, suspicion, with some of us. Teknon, a case in point, mistrusts the love and connection we have formed in a bond created by You, often...( despite anointing in YOU ! ). There's just too much taint. I can remember what is real from pre-incest-family days. Most of these people have never-ever known what healthy boundaries and a lack of uber-focus on boundaries is about.
There was a day in the Victorian era, says C. S. Lewis in the book "The Four Loves," when philostorgos (family affection) vs. astorgos (without...), rivaled our love for God Himself.
Originally Posted by "The Four Loves" ~ C.S.Lewis ~ p.166-168
But to have stressed the rivalry earlier in this book would have been premature in another way also. The claim to divinity which our loves so easily make can be refuted without going so far as that.
The loves prove
that they are unworthy to take the place of God by
the fact that they cannot even remain themselves and
do what they promise to do without God's help.
Why prove that some petty princeling is not the Lawful Emperor when without the Emperor's support He cannot even keep his subordinate throne and make Peace in his little province for half a year? Even for Their own sakes the loves must submit to be second Things if they are to remain the things they want to be.
In this yoke lies their true freedom; they "are taller whenthey bow." For when God rules in a human heart, though He may sometimes have to remove certain of its native authorities altogether, He often continues others in their offices and, by subjecting their authority to His, gives it for the first time a firm basis.
Emerson has said,
"When half-gods go, the gods arrive."
That is a very doubtful maxim. Better
say,
"When God arrives (and only then) the halfgods
Can remain."
Left to themselves they either vanish or become demons. Only in His name can they with beauty and security "wield their little tridents." The rebellious slogan "All for love" is really love's
{166}
death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).
But the question of the rivalry, for these reasons Long postponed, must now be treated. In any earlier
period, except the nineteenth century, it would have loomed large throughout a book on this subject.
If the
Victorians needed the reminder that love is not
enough, older theologians were always saying very
loudly that (natural) love is likely to be a great deal
too much. The danger of loving our fellow-creatures too little was less present to their minds than that of loving them idolatrously. In every wife, mother, child and friend they saw a possible rival to God. So of course does Our Lord
(Luke XIV, 26).
There is one method of dissuading us from Inordinate love of the fellow-creature which I find Myself forced to reject at the very outset. I do so with trembling, for it met me in the pages of a great saint
and a great thinker to whom my own glad debts are incalculable. In words which can still bring tears to the eyes, St.Augustine describes the desolation in which the
Death of his friend Nebridius plunged him (Confessions
IV,10). Then he draws a moral. This is what comes, he says, of giving one's heart to anything but God. All human beings pass away. Do not let your Happiness depend on something you may lose. If love Is to be a blessing, not a misery, it must be for the
Only Beloved who will never pass away.
{167}
Of course this is excellent sense. Don't put your goods in a leaky vessel. Don't spend too much on a house you may be turned out of. And there is no man alive who responds more naturally than I to such canny maxims.
I am a safety-first creature. Of all Arguments against love none makes so strong an Appeal to my nature as
"Careful! This might lead you To suffering."{168}
that they are unworthy to take the place of God by
the fact that they cannot even remain themselves and
do what they promise to do without God's help.
Why prove that some petty princeling is not the Lawful Emperor when without the Emperor's support He cannot even keep his subordinate throne and make Peace in his little province for half a year? Even for Their own sakes the loves must submit to be second Things if they are to remain the things they want to be.
In this yoke lies their true freedom; they "are taller whenthey bow." For when God rules in a human heart, though He may sometimes have to remove certain of its native authorities altogether, He often continues others in their offices and, by subjecting their authority to His, gives it for the first time a firm basis.
Emerson has said,
"When half-gods go, the gods arrive."
That is a very doubtful maxim. Better
say,
"When God arrives (and only then) the halfgods
Can remain."
Left to themselves they either vanish or become demons. Only in His name can they with beauty and security "wield their little tridents." The rebellious slogan "All for love" is really love's
{166}
death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).
But the question of the rivalry, for these reasons Long postponed, must now be treated. In any earlier
period, except the nineteenth century, it would have loomed large throughout a book on this subject.
If the
Victorians needed the reminder that love is not
enough, older theologians were always saying very
loudly that (natural) love is likely to be a great deal
too much. The danger of loving our fellow-creatures too little was less present to their minds than that of loving them idolatrously. In every wife, mother, child and friend they saw a possible rival to God. So of course does Our Lord
(Luke XIV, 26).
There is one method of dissuading us from Inordinate love of the fellow-creature which I find Myself forced to reject at the very outset. I do so with trembling, for it met me in the pages of a great saint
and a great thinker to whom my own glad debts are incalculable. In words which can still bring tears to the eyes, St.Augustine describes the desolation in which the
Death of his friend Nebridius plunged him (Confessions
IV,10). Then he draws a moral. This is what comes, he says, of giving one's heart to anything but God. All human beings pass away. Do not let your Happiness depend on something you may lose. If love Is to be a blessing, not a misery, it must be for the
Only Beloved who will never pass away.
{167}
Of course this is excellent sense. Don't put your goods in a leaky vessel. Don't spend too much on a house you may be turned out of. And there is no man alive who responds more naturally than I to such canny maxims.
I am a safety-first creature. Of all Arguments against love none makes so strong an Appeal to my nature as
"Careful! This might lead you To suffering."{168}
I think this rivalry was present in my primary family, by the influence of the generations of Christian heritage and 'healthier' love connections, through my grandfather and grandmother. Prior to Hubb's family becoming a part of my life, my connections with all my primary family, apart from my Mother and I, exhibited this rivalry with God at points in each relationship. The bonds were STRONG and there came an inevitable day when choosing between You and one of them, arrived. My Mother's offering was in her diligent allegiance with escorting the three of us to church, choir, summer camp, retreats, picnics and cantatas, etc.
Which brings me to the need I found greatest, yesterday. JB, A, a, and J.... whew. I prayed and talked of You with JB yesterday, on the couch in the loft for about an hour. Hubbs joined me, half-way through. JB is only 20. He has NEVER known a life without the threat of violence, addictions, abuse, threats and/or accusations of incest. He just got free from an oxycotten addiction, at least he tells me he is free. PLEASE JESUS. I challenged him to invite You to show him that YOU are REAL. I told him he's got nothing to lose, since if You weren't real, You'd not answer. KNOWING You are.... PLEASE answer that prayer so clearly that You even out-shine any high he has ever known, for Your glory. Don't LET the enemy take anymore of these children, and young adults, please. BE THERE FOR HIM, for his Mom (a friend of many years that I had left behind for some 20years, because of the lifestyle she had chosen and her rejection of my faith in You), his sister and, yes, even his Dad. Forgive them because they know NOT what they DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Which brings me to the need I found greatest, yesterday. JB, A, a, and J.... whew. I prayed and talked of You with JB yesterday, on the couch in the loft for about an hour. Hubbs joined me, half-way through. JB is only 20. He has NEVER known a life without the threat of violence, addictions, abuse, threats and/or accusations of incest. He just got free from an oxycotten addiction, at least he tells me he is free. PLEASE JESUS. I challenged him to invite You to show him that YOU are REAL. I told him he's got nothing to lose, since if You weren't real, You'd not answer. KNOWING You are.... PLEASE answer that prayer so clearly that You even out-shine any high he has ever known, for Your glory. Don't LET the enemy take anymore of these children, and young adults, please. BE THERE FOR HIM, for his Mom (a friend of many years that I had left behind for some 20years, because of the lifestyle she had chosen and her rejection of my faith in You), his sister and, yes, even his Dad. Forgive them because they know NOT what they DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
"The Sixth Hour"
by ME, Shachah,
a/k/a Gabrielle Angelo ~~~^^
Spare the youngest among us, completely. Walk out across the floodwaters and take the hand of those whose lives are pulled ever downward into the eddy that they were born into without choice. Raise up Your chosen ones, serpents on the rod, as caduceus against the scourge of lust and pride full-blown. Raise up our children, wholly innocent, for YOUR GLORY. Recreate the purity of a line too long left to their irreverance for children and irreverance for You. Spare my children and our grandchildren.... be our God.
Originally Posted by Joshua 24:15
....As for me and my family, we'll worship God."
STOMP YOUR FOOT, Lord, and say, "No MORE !!! It is finished !" amen
“What is Success?”
by “Bessie A. Stanley.”
Vol. II of Heart Throbs
published in 1911
He has achieved success who has
lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
who has enjoyed the trust of pure women,
the respect of intelligent men
and the love of little children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it,
whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem,
or a rescued soul;
who has always looked for the best in others
and given them the best he had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.
CONGRATULATIONS !
CLASS of 2009
Vol. II of Heart Throbs
published in 1911
He has achieved success who has
lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
who has enjoyed the trust of pure women,
the respect of intelligent men
and the love of little children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it,
whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem,
or a rescued soul;
who has always looked for the best in others
and given them the best he had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.
CONGRATULATIONS !
CLASS of 2009
